Be a Maker of Peace

As this Christmas season commences, I have a suggestion. Let's all make a concerted effort to make peace in our world this year. It all starts with each of us as individuals. But you may ask what can one person do to make a difference in such a noisy contentious world? My answer is that you can do more than you imagine.

This year, as in every year, there is chaos everywhere. We end each year, it seems, determined to do better in the coming year. That's what New Year's resolutions are designed to help us focus on. We get to breathe a huge sigh of relief as we recount what happened to us in the year. We pause, we slow down and reflect, and we are often overwhelmed with sorrow and grief over the tragedies that have hit us. Often these setbacks have come upon us uninvited and certainly unwelcomed. And yet, come they do and there seems to be little we can do to stop them.

It's the stuff of which this mortal probation is all about. If life were predictable and everything always worked out exactly the way we drew it up in our planning, there would be no testing, no opposition and no stretching to help us progress to a higher and holier place. Indeed, we would be following blindly like robots programmed for perfection without having paid a price for any of it ourselves. And whose idea was that in the beginning? Oh wait, I remember now:

And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.

And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him. (Abraham 3:27-28).

And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying — Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor. 

But, behold, my Beloved Son, which was my Beloved and Chosen from the beginning, said unto me — thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever. 

Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down; 

And he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies, to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will, even as many as would not hearken unto my voice. 

And now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which I, the Lord God, had made. 

And Satan put it into the heart of the serpent, (for he had drawn away many after him,) and he sought also to beguile Eve, for he knew not the mind of God, wherefore he sought to destroy the world. (Moses 4:1-6). 

In today's world, we are witnessing the adherents to Satan at war with one another. Some in the Church are still fond of citing the "two plans" that were posited in the beginning. But, there were never two plans, only one plan - the Father's plan. At issue was who would implement THAT ONE PLAN. 

The Father's great plan of happiness included the agency of man "which I, the Lord God, had given him, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten." 

In opposition to the Father's plan Satan offered to redeem everyone and to have the Father give him all the honor and glory. Because of his rebellion, he was cast down, deprived of the privilege of a mortal body. 

Satan must have been very persuasive, however, because we learn "at that day many followed after him." When we think about all those - dare we call them "evil spirits?" - who followed Satan in the pre-existence, then we do the math on it, let's look at Neal A. Maxwell's analysis: 

64,000,000,000 who have lived in physical bodies on Earth to 1976 

~ 70,000,000,000 to 1984 (Maxwell's estimate) or 2/3 of all the spirits 

35,000,000,000 or 1/3 of all the hosts of heaven who followed Satan 

The current world population is 8,076,994,357 as of Wednesday, December 6, 2023 according to the most recent United Nations estimates elaborated by Worldometer. 

Now think about this: For every one of us Satan has about four of his minions he could assign to us to help him in his avowed mission to "destroy the world." Seems a little overwhelming doesn't it? Here's the good news: God has called only one prophet at a time to send His redeeming love into the world to bless all His children, and that man, that one man, is President Russell M. Nelson. That one man has been a consistent champion and witness to the divinity of the Savior Jesus Christ, who was chosen by the Father to implement that ONE PLAN of redeeming grace.

President Russell M. Nelson

When he dies (he's in his 100th year today!), as surely he will, God will raise up another prophet in his stead to carry forward the work of gathering Israel in these last days until the Savior comes again to rule and reign on Earth. Here's what the prophet has said about peacemakers: 

"At this point you may be thinking that this message [to become peacemakers] would really help someone you know. Perhaps you are hoping that it will help him or her to be nicer to you. I hope it will! But I also hope that you will look deeply into your heart to see if there are shards of pride or jealousy that prevent you from becoming a peacemaker. 

"If you are serious about helping to gather Israel and about building relationships that will last throughout the eternities, now is the time to lay aside bitterness. Now is the time to cease insisting that it is your way or no way. Now is the time to stop doing things that make others walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting you. Now is the time to bury your weapons of war. If your verbal arsenal is filled with insults and accusations, now is the time to put them away. You will arise as a spiritually strong man or woman of Christ. 

"The temple can help us in our quest. There we are endowed with God’s power, giving us the ability to overcome Satan, the instigator of all contention. Cast him out of your relationships! Note that we also rebuke the adversary every time we heal a misunderstanding or refuse to take offense. Instead, we can show the tender mercy that is characteristic of true disciples of Jesus Christ. Peacemakers thwart the adversary. 

"Let us as a people become a true light on the hill — a light that 'cannot be hid.' Let us show that there is a peaceful, respectful way to resolve complex issues and an enlightened way to work out disagreements. As you demonstrate the charity that true followers of Jesus Christ manifest, the Lord will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination.

"The gospel net is the largest net in the world. God has invited all to come unto Him, 'black and white, bond and free, male and female.' There is room for everyone. However, there is no room for prejudice, condemnation, or contention of any kind. 

"My dear brothers and sisters, the best is yet to come for those who spend their lives building up others. Today I invite you to examine your discipleship within the context of the way you treat others. 

"I bless you to make any adjustments that may be needed so that your behavior is ennobling, respectful, and representative of a true follower of Jesus Christ. 

"God lives! Jesus is the Christ. He stands at the head of this Church. We are His servants. He will help us to become His peacemakers." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/47nelson?lang=eng

I had the perfect example of a peacemaker in my own home. Patsy was always a peacemaker who shunned even the slightest hint of contention. She lifted others, blessed them with her grace and her love. She served them constantly, tirelessly and championed them in their adversities. She even worried about them, but even in that one weakness she ultimately overcame her worry with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. She took her worries to Him in everything, and in time - His time - solutions presented themselves to which she immediately subscribed and put into action. 

We are often talked out of our good intentions by the four evil spirits working on our faith. We too often are convinced that we are just one person, and what can only one weak individual like us do to bring about improvements in a wicked world? 

When you are tempted with those faulty thoughts, think about what one prophet, one mother, one father, one son or daughter, one bishop, one Relief Society President, one ministering saint can do, and then be assured that you are not just one. As our son, Steve, reminded us at Patsy's funeral, "When we show up our gifts show up too." What a priceless insight that is for each of us. You just have to "show up." 

But you might counter, "I don't have any gifts compared to everyone else around me." Again, that thought is worse than faulty. It is Satanic. Your gifts are many and they are powerful, more efficacious in someone else's life than you will ever know. 

When I think about Patsy's gifts and how they have been multiplied many times over into a posterity that now numbers over ninety precious souls in mortal tabernacles who are faithful and serving the best they know how, I have come to believe that none of us should ever discount our capability for good in such dismissive terms as, "I'm just not good enough." Or, "What difference can I make?" Or, "I am only one person." Stop it, already! 

You can be that peacemaker in your marriage, in your ward, in your stake, in your calling in the Church wherever it may take you, and don't be surprised when you get to the spirit world to be surrounded by your kindred spirits for whom you did all those vicarious ordinances in the temples. You are blessing legions whom you have never met in this life!! 

Only you, only one person, only someone as insignificant and weak as you. 

Only someone who learned how to make peace.

Hope and Peace After Divorce

This morning I was reminded of this statement attributed to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

In the course of my daily walk through this mortal probation, I encounter many who are surfeited by the demands and challenges they face. Too often, they tell me, they became "lost" in the day to day routines of life without focusing on their spiritual well-being. Instead of keeping Chardin's perspective, their human experience overwhelmed them.

Many with whom I interact are the products of the divorce of their parents. Now in their own marriages, they are sometimes persuaded it might be easier to take the same course of their parents. They give up. They choose alternative lifestyles. What once began as a blissful knot-tying in sacred precincts where holy vows of allegiance to one another were pronounced, marriage for them descended into depths of sin, disobedience, indifference, abuse, addiction and anger.

Often what happens in these situations is mortal forgetfulness. We forget our spiritual identity as an eternal son or daughter of God. Of course, some of it is unavoidable because there is a veil of forgetfulness drawn across our minds and spirits when we are born. Brigham Young said in simplest terms of explanation the veil was our physical body shrouding our eternal spirit.

I am aware of three current cases of divorce. None is a happy outcome right now. The challenge before the individuals involved puts them on a path to choose - either they will become better for the experience, or they will become bitter.

The confusion when divorce of parents is the final outcome is palpable. "What will become of me if my parents divorce?" some ask. Can a child whose parents divorce still claim the blessings of the sealing? Are they still "born under the covenant?" To whom will they be sealed if both parents remarry? These are but a few of the questions that arise. And then when repentance is in evidence later on, the aftermath of the divorce presents opportunities to learn to forgive those who inflicted so much pain. Along the way there are hidden nuggets of gold waiting to be discovered for the earnest seeker of truth.

I am not an expert on divorce. Just the opposite. Mine has been a blissful marriage of harmony and shared goals through all the ups and downs of life. It has not been without challenges. It has been anything but smooth sailing. But who's complaining? It's what we signed up for, isn't it?

However, I found a statement by a woman who divorced after several years of marriage and went through eight years of litigation thereafter. She provides a valuable perspective. Said she: "When I told my family I was writing about peace after divorce, they laughed and said, 'Tell them there isn't any!' I'm not telling you that. There is peace. Peace after divorce comes in the process of living. It happens after learning hard lessons. It occurs over time alongside family, friends, and professionals who care. It happens privately but also with many others who share the experience and understand. Peace emerges from pain and accompanies healing. It comes from confronting and accepting truth, from being willing to live and love and forgive and move forward. Divorce is still hard to say, but it has not closed the gate on my own path to life, love, and peace." (Elaine Shaw Sorensen, "Peace After Divorce," in Women in the Covenant of Grace by Susette Fletcher Green and Dawn Hall Anderson, 50).

Detours in our mortal journey are inevitable, and they take many forms. No matter how long or difficult the road may seem, our past cannot hold us prisoner to our future unless we choose it. I have seen many who have overcome the oppression of the past and set their sails for the future voyage with satisfying results. In one case, a woman whose husband was plagued by alcohol addiction for years found a new job that supplied her with the income she needed to raise and support her four children. Life went on for her and her children, and they are happy today because of their choices.

Said another: "A marriage is a commitment between two people that is designed to last for eternity. One person cannot carry that commitment to fruition alone. When it is not being upheld by both parties, it ceases to be eternal. It requires dedication on both sides to make it valid. A hopeless marriage need not be forever; an abusive situation need not be tolerated. You can still have worth as a person with an unsuccessful marriage. My marriage ceased being eternal years before we entered the divorce courts." (Nedra Hardy, "When a Marriage Is Not Celestial," ibid., 55).

The antidote for dealing with the devastation of divorce is the same I would offer for all life's problems. My life took a detour financially a few years ago. I wish things had turned out differently than they did. Instead of financial security I was seeking, I was escorted back to square one to begin again. It was humbling. I've detailed it in previous posts. I am fortunate to have found a surprisingly fulfilling work life since the debacle of the world's financial meltdown in 2008. I am reminded of a talk title from Hugh Nibley, "Work we must, but the lunch is free." 

During that time I prayed, I fasted, I petitioned, and along the way there were undeniable moments of fears, doubts and frustrations. But those proved to be only punctuation marks in a chapter of my life filled with overwhelming love, assurances and support from my wife and children. Because we could call upon God, our eternal partner in our marriage, ours was a marriage that didn't break under the stress. He carried us and sustained us with grace and charity. I am grateful every day for that reality.

Don't get trapped for too long in your "pity party." Half the people out there don't care what happened to you, and the other half think you got what you deserved. Be happy, keep smiling through the pain. It will get better when you take action, even if it's only tiny baby steps to start in a new direction.

President Thomas S. Monson

Now, as I move along through life, I have discovered success comes from small and seemingly insignificant choices. We learn lessons, we grow, we mature in spiritual things, and what happens "in the thick of thin things" pales by comparison. We learn to love and serve others when we are afflicted. Turning outward to help others has long been the recipe President Thomas S. Monson recommends. We learn to love vegetables and fruit instead of a steady diet of Peanut M&Ms.

Each marriage is filled with tests. Whether marriage ends or goes on, what makes the difference is how we choose. And the choice is always ours. It really doesn't matter what our parents did before us, or our spouses who may choose poorly. We are free to make of our lives what we will. And with a little bit of work we can usually figure out how to do it better together than apart.

And we can be at peace with God's spirit, no matter what comes our way.

Beware of False Doctrines

In the past week I have been exposed to three false doctrines. I'll confess this is not a rare occurrence, though I wish I could say our members were well grounded in the true doctrines so the false ones wouldn't ever see the light of day.

Here they are:

1. That openly gay men are holding positions of authority in the priesthood and the Church is softening its position over the LGBT agenda. These stories often come as anecdotal references like, "I have a friend who lives in Southern California in a ward where an openly gay man in a relationship with another man is the president of the elders' quorum." Beware of these kinds of stories, because they simply are not true. Someone is soon going to have to start a Snopes page to sniff out these falsities and expose them for what they are.

After responding to the person who shared this latest story with me, the Church issued a statement on its Newsroom Blog page refuting these kinds of claims. In part the blog post said:

"In this period that many are calling another 'Mormon Moment,' Mattingly correctly asserts, 'If people make claims about evolving Mormon doctrines, look for names, titles and clear statements of attribution.'

"There is a lot of interest in the Church and a lot being written about it. It's important for the public to distinguish between fact, opinion and personal advocacy."

2. I received an e-mail from a well-informed young man who is a student of the scriptures. In the e-mail he quoted Heber C. Kimball to the effect that our Heavenly Father was not only the Father of our spirits, but also the Father of our physical bodies.

"I have a question that I’ve been pondering for some time and thought you might be able help me with it.  As I have studied the creation more I find the verses in Moses 2:27-28 and Genesis 1:27-28 perplexing.  When it speaks of creating man it does not mention that they are created of the dust in these verses until the next chapter in verse Moses 3:7 - It mentions that they form man again this time out of the dust and man becomes the “first flesh upon the earth”. So I conclude that the account of the days 1-6 of creation is actually the spiritual creation, and the physical creation happened on the 7th day or at least the creation of man (D&C 77:12).  This brings me to my question, I want to know what the above verses mean when it says '…be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth'? Because Adam and Eve are only spirits at this point… So, Is Heavenly Father teaching them that this will be their role in life…? Or is he asking them to spiritually pro-create at this point? And this would allow them to create spiritual tabernacles in the same way we create physical tabernacles in mortality…?"

Elder Harold B. Lee

His question reminded me specifically of a quote from Elder Harold B. Lee that arose out of his summer lecture series in 1954, where his audience was comprised of Seminary and Institute instructors. During the summer he discussed many and varied doctrinal topics, and in particular this one referenced in the e-mail to me. I responded by saying I had read the entire Heber C. Kimball discourse in its original source and that one statement appeared to me to have been lifted out of context. This is a favorite tactic of anti-Mormon writers who delight in this practice to misrepresent and embarrass current leaders of the Church whose statements are pitted against the early leaders of the Church to create intentional conflict. Said Elder Lee:

"It is just as dangerous for teachers of religion to teach as absolute facts that can't be controverted, something that still is in the realm of speculation and theory, and when you find someone who is writing a book in which they speak with a pedantic authority as though it were an accomplished fact and couldn't be gainsaid, then you put a question mark by it and write 'theory.' I will tell you what I do, as I read these many books that come (and I think the day is here when we have got to be more discriminating in our reading than ever before).

"Let me suggest a method. As you read these books, no matter who writes them, read carefully down the record and where their teaching is in complete agreement with the revelations that the Lord has given us and with the teachings of the scriptures, accept it as being fact, but where they go off into imaginative suppositions or speculations that are not fully proved by the scriptures, write out in the margin, the name of the author. It is his idea, you see. Distinguish as between the individual's idea and that which is supported by scriptures. It is perfectly all right for us to get another's idea. . .

"Talk in simple language -- keep your teachings just as simple as the Lord has told it -- simple for the purpose that he told Moses, 'To bring to pass the immortality and the eternal life of man.' (Moses 1:39). He showed Moses the history of this world, who saw it in vision, but of all things else pertaining to the rest of the universe, he didn't show him. Perhaps if we had the full story of the creation of the earth and man told to us in great detail, it would be more of a mystery than the simple few statements that we have contained in the Bible, because of our lack of ability to comprehend. Therefore, for reasons best known to the Lord, he has kept us in darkness. Wait until the Lord speaks, or wait until that day when he shall come, and when we shall be among the privileged either to come up out of our graves and be caught up into the clouds of heaven or shall be living upon the earth likewise to be so translated before him. Then we shall know all things pertaining to this earth, how it was made, and all things that now as children we are groping for and trying to understand.

"Let's reserve judgment as to the facts concerning the creation until we know these things for sure. Then let us answer those who offer their theories with reference to the creation, which come from men: 'We don't know, and nobody knows.' Label 'theory' by the name of the man who gave us the theory and think of it as has been said by Elder [James E.] Talmage, as merely the scaffolding, until the walls of our faith are built and that glorious day when we are permitted to enter into the presence of the Lord and receive greater instructions."
(Elder Harold B. Lee, manuscript copy of 1954 lecture series at BYU for Seminary and Institute instructors [unpublished], pp. 38, 44).

3. A text message asking if I was aware that the "matriarchal priesthood" was going to be restored to the earth before the Second Coming. When I inquired further into the origins of the statement, I discovered there are many women who have spiritual gifts enabling them to heal physical, emotional and spiritual ailments of all kinds. These women are wonderful examples to me of deeply spiritual and committed individuals who exercise supernal gifts of the Spirit. One of those enumerated gifts in the scriptures (see Moroni 10; D&C 46; 1 Corinthians 12) is the gift of healing. Spiritual gifts, of course, are not distinguishable between male and female, and often operate outside the authoritative priesthood keys that are the domain of men only. They are clearly explained in the context of the spiritual keys of power available to men and women without regard to their free exercise by males or females. In the past Scott Strong and I have written extensively about these distinctions, and I would refer you to our compilation on these topics.

There can be little doubt these spiritual gifts can, do and have always existed among women in the Church. The evidence they are efficacious and beneficial for many is irrefutable. However, there is no need to force the invention of a modality linking this spiritual gift to the priesthood keys of authority to somehow reach for authenticity. Such is a false idea and if pursued would foul the pure channel from which the gift flows to those individuals so endowed.

That said, the exercise of the spiritual gifts and discerning of how the those gifts exercised by others within the boundary of his congregation is clearly within the domain of priesthood leaders and the priesthood keys of authority he holds. (See D&C 46 and 50). However, to assert that women must have something called the "matriarchal order of the priesthood" to freely exercise their spiritual gift is absolutely false on its face.

Ask yourselves, when confronted with such ideas, "In all my life in the Church, have I ever heard anyone in a position of authority offer such an idea?"

If the answer to that simple question is "NO," then leave it where you found it and don't pick it up again. Left unchecked and unchallenged, repeated to the uninformed and gullible, these ideas gain more power than they deserve to garner.