"When Did You First Feel Like an Adult?"

I was reminded yet again this morning how grateful I have always been for the inspiration that came for my children Rich and Shauna to provide the Story Worth subscription to me. Whenever there isn’t a question waiting for me on Monday morning from a family member (and there have now been hundreds), then I get a random pre-programmed question automatically sent from Story Worth for consideration. Today’s is one such question.

The key word in this title to me is “FEEL.” The answer to the question is perhaps of more objective value to the young adults among us, and that is the reason I will attempt an answer.

In case you haven’t noticed, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has adopted lower ages for missionary service, and the response has been overwhelming among the members who have answered the invitation with enthusiasm. That includes not only my latest grandchildren like Chloe and Aleyha, Matthew and Amelia most recently, but I would submit we will continue to see record numbers serving in the coming years.

I think that is the first inkling of a “feeling” that I was becoming an adult. I had to wait until the ripe old age of 21 before I could submit my papers to serve, and back then wards were limited to two missionaries per year because of the demand for young men to serve in the Vietnam War. When I was chosen as one of two in the Federal Heights Ward that year, I was eligible and had the distinct feeling I was embarking on new and unexplored territory in adulthood. 

In rapid succession I was interviewed by my bishop, then the stake president, my papers were submitted to Church headquarters, and I received my call signed personally (not “auto-penned”) by President David O. McKay to serve in the North British Mission. Soon thereafter I was given my patriarchal blessing and entered the Mission Home in Salt Lake City for one week prior to shipping out to England. It was “adulting” on steroids for me. I flew overnight from Salt Lake to Chicago and landed in London at sunrise after a night of no sleep, then took the connecting flight to Leeds Airport, near Harrogate’s mission headquarters at Rossett Green.

I had been assigned as the “group leader” of the nine of us that day for our flight to Harrogate and I “lost” one of the elders along the way. Fortunately, we located him sleeping in a remote chair in the terminal in Chicago before our flight took off for London. My father had accompanied us on that first leg, as my flight coincided with business meetings he had in Chicago. 

When I said my final farewell to Dad that day, I knew for sure my childhood had ended and I would be embarking into “big boy” territory. That sleepy missionary was a constant source of trouble for me, even when I was serving later as his District Leader then as an Assistant to the President. He remained “lost” spiritually his whole two years. I had to open my missionary journal to refresh my memory of that story.

Life is a cumulative journey of awakenings for each of us, and the “formula” is going to be different for each one of us. I am now at the end of my mortal path literally and figuratively. I can look back now, which is the whole purpose of this Story Worth exercise I suppose. Even this morning as I pondered this question I thought of several instances where feeling like an adult for the first time had entered my consciousness.

I was a paperboy at age eight (long before minimum age work restrictions were imposed). I delivered newspapers from a two-sided bag slung over my handlebars of my Schwinn bicycle. I learned that by folding and banding the papers with a rubber band I could throw them onto the porches from the sidewalk as I rode by. The exception was having to get off my bike for delivery inside apartment buildings. That was all before ten-speeds were introduced.

In all four seasons I pedaled around a nearby neighborhood, then I had to go out monthly and knock on doors collecting the $2/per monthly subscription charge. I still remember how empowering it was to meet my customers on their doorsteps and ask for their $2. As one might imagine, I was greeted with all kinds of people on the other side of the door, some very kind and generous (even tippers), and others as mean-spirited and dismissive as you can imagine. I learned a lot about human nature as a young man, and it prepared me unknowingly for all those doors in England I would knock on later as a missionary going door-to-door with a message of the restored gospel in this dispensation.

Other jobs ensued as a teenager. I remembered just now an encouraging note from Mom in my lunch sack when I started a job in the maintenance department at the Primary Children’s Hospital. All along the way, Mom and Dad were supportive, encouraging me to find my independence in every way I could.

All these formative experiences contributed to my feelings of growing into an adult in time. I am grateful for the freedom they extended to me to “try my wings” as an upstart teenager, even when it meant encouraging me to forsake my wayward friends in the ward who were experimenting with the forbidden substances mentioned in the "Word of Wisdom." (Doctrine and Covenants 89). It was they who first introduced me to something called “pornography” in the basement bedroom of one of them way back in the day.

That one single decision to abandon them in my formative years proved to be the greatest determinant in establishing my own discipleship as a teenager, culminating in my call to serve as president of the East High Seminary in my senior year. That assignment cultivated a lifetime association with Elder John M. Madsen of the Seventy, who had served as a young Seminary teacher and our advisor when he was at East High too. He always made me feel like his peer, and his was a life truly worthy of emulation. Good choices, my dearest family members and readers, open the way to freedom and adulting here and now, and then the prospects of eternal life that I continue to aspire to.

Mickey Mantle

We often encounter examples of childish behavior in people we would otherwise like to enshrine as our heroes. Mickey Mantle was one of those people for me. He was a certified Hall of Famer later in his entire career as the centerfielder for the New York Yankees. I even tried switch-hitting because of his example, and I learned it was harder than he made it look. His career was prematurely truncated, however, because of his alcohol abuse, a fact he tearfully admitted to long after his retirement as he was dying of liver failure. It wasn’t uncommon in the ballplayers I saw during those years. Nicotine addiction was common also. There seemed to be no concern among those about coffee and tea, all forbidden substances. Word of Wisdom experimentation was the ever-present temptation to which many of my friends succumbed, and just like my baseball heroes their lives were tragically impacted by those early deviations.

I felt as though I were making critical adult and life-sustaining choices during those teenaged years. I applaud all of my posterity, each of you one by one in particular, for making the wise choices I see in evidence in all of you. Have the courage to continue on your path of discipleship. Believe me when I assure you that someday when you are writing your memoirs like I am these days that you will be filled with gratitude and the ability to look back in peace and tranquility.

For those who may struggle internally with your secret sins even as you are trying so hard to stay on course, let me gently suggest a visit with your bishop if needed. He is God’s servant on earth for each of you, and empowered with priesthood keys to bless your lives in ways you can’t possibly imagine until you counsel with him. 

The life of King David in the Bible is the classic example of one who seemingly “had it all” - wives and concubines numbering into the hundreds, wealth untold, absolute political power and earthly possessions. And yet, he was led into adultery and eventually planning the murder of a man who was married to the object of his lust. Be aware that none of us is exempt from the temptations of the adversary and all his minions.

So when did I begin to “feel” like the adult I became, as I’ve tried to lay it out this morning? It was NOT a blinding light from heaven, like it happened for Paul the Apostle on the road to Damascus as he was persecuting the early Christians. 

For me, at least, it was not a sudden burst of revelation. Rather, it was the cumulative experiences of a lifetime, just as daughter Allie said to me on Sunday at Chloe’s missionary farewell sacrament meeting - “One day at a time.” That’s how it happens for most of us, isn’t it? Don’t be too surprised when you stumble here and there along the path. The journey of mortality was never meant to be a casual stroll in the park on a sunny day. Even today, our normally spectacular Pine Valley is filled with choking smoke from surrounding wildfires as far away as Nevada. The smoke and haze, and the bumpy road is the only way we can ever hope to claim our blessings in eternity.

I am overflowing with love and admiration for all of you this morning. And, oh by the way, I’m still trying to “feel” more like an adult (he said with a broad smile on his face). I hope I can get it all figured out with my final hurdles in mortality still looming up ahead.

Be patient with yourselves and trust in the love of me, your earthly parents, Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus Christ. Our love for you isn’t fleeting. Rather, it is ETERNAL.

"Because of Jesus Christ. . ."

I reread the recent General Conference talk by Elder Dale G. Renlund yesterday, which is the title of my chapter this morning. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2026/04/46renlund?lang=eng. As I read his summary of all that Jesus Christ has done for us, I couldn’t help but insert my own name in place of the Savior’s. I recommend a similar exercise for each of us.

The Savior has provided the Atonement. It is comprehensive and in my case at least almost incomprehensible as I grow older and face the certainty of my not-too-distant personal meeting with Him someday. I will pour out my heart to Him in what will no doubt be an inadequate expression of gratitude. I wonder this morning if I will ever truly understand what “worlds without number” and inhabitants of the same look like. Mind boggling is all I can come up with.

Elder Renlund at the beginning said: “I cannot add more time to your days or eliminate the many concerns modern life brings. But I can offer this counsel: Not all matters are of equal value, and maintaining an eternal perspective helps us prioritize the things that are of greatest value. On this Easter Sunday, let us consider why focusing on Jesus Christ and the ‘infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice’ is of greatest value and helps us no matter how many other concerns we must manage. His life, His mission, and the fruits of His Atonement bless us infinitely and daily.” (Emphasis mine).

And there’s that word “infinite” again. I am daily reminded of the many matters that consume my attention, even at this late stage in my life. Yes, life is substantially simpler than it was many years ago, but now I am in the throes of seeking answers about my comparatively paltry estate plan that will hopefully benefit us all.

I ask myself, “Because of David Goates, my posterity will be blessed in the following ways…” and now I am leaving it in their hands to fill in the blanks that remain.

Then I wonder if I were to write my own obituary, what would I include? Would I give a stark and naked assessment, recounting all my shortcomings, sins of commission or omission, dredging up hopefully a detailed list of failings and oversights, stupid decisions, and all the rest that went with it? Would I attempt to blame others for my misfortunes?

Or would I rely upon the mercy and merits of my Savior and Redeemer to have forgiven me for all of it? These poor pages I have assembled for all of you will no doubt provide ample fodder for your own answers to the question I am posing for each of us this morning. As my Savior has forgiven me, I pray each of you may find evidence sufficient to also forgive me.

I wrote a private letter to Patsy in recent weeks, which I will not share here, in which I poured out my heart and soul to her as though she were still at my side here in mortality. From her lofty perch in the spirit world I am hoping she may know perfectly the thoughts and the intents of my heart as I finalize my estate plan for the future of this little cabin where I live on the Provo River. It’s all I have left to give, and I hope it may be accomplished in some semblance of an orderly transition to our next generations that will outlive both of us who created it.

I loved the way Elder Renlund expressed it: “Because of the merits, mercy, and grace of Jesus Christ, we can return home to our Heavenly Father and live in His presence. This is only possible through Jesus Christ. The Savior Himself said, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.’ Jesus, who leads us to salvation, has the power to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves because He completed His Atonement.” (ibid., emphasis mine).

My Eternal Companion Patsy

I am acutely aware these days of all the many things I cannot do for myself, and therefore more accurately aware of my dependency upon the Atonement than ever before in my existence. I only desire the realization of one permanent goal in my life at this point - to return to the loving arms of my Savior and my Father in Heaven with honor and with my discipleship in clear evidence. By extension, I hope those loving arms include my celestial companion Patsy. So what is my motivation about anything that remains in my life? I just stated it.

Moments ago I watched a hawk swoop down from a tall pine tree outside my office window. It snagged an unsuspecting pot gut in its talons and then flew off to devour its prey. I have pondered and wondered over a lifetime if pot guts can possibly have any useful purpose on this earth, and as I shot a few over the weekend it remains an open question for me. I have murdered my fair share over the years living where I do. The perils and realities of mortality are that there always seems to be a bigger predator to take us out at any moment in time. Who or what will finally take me out? I leave the speculations to all who wish to play from the “list of horribles.”

Elder Renlund continues: “Jesus Christ has infinite capacity to forgive, promising that ‘as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.’ Because of Jesus Christ, sins for which we have sincerely repented leave no spiritual scar, track, or trace. There is no scarlet letter to wear, now or in the eternities. When we repent with real intent, the entirety of our sin, not just a part, is figuratively nailed to the cross and we no longer bear its spiritual consequences. After we have repented, we owe no more to justice because Jesus has paid the debt; He pardons us from deserved punishment. We are forgiven, our hearts and hands are made clean, and the Lord remembers our sins no more. The Lord our God ‘is mighty; he will save, [and] he will rejoice over [us].’” (ibid., emphasis mine).

I have concluded along with Elder Renlund that even though the Atonement is infinite, it is also deeply personal to me. When I truly see my feeble part that I play in mortality, and can look objectively and not defensively deep within my own heart and soul, I feel to rejoice in my Savior’s offering of repentance. All other considerations pale in insignificance. Introspection is a divine gift of the spirit.

“Focusing on the Savior, His infinite Atonement, and what He has done for us will bring joy and clarity into our lives, no matter how many other concerns we have. This is why ancient and modern prophets have and always will direct us to Christ. You may remember that President Russell M. Nelson taught, ‘Whatever questions or problems you have, the answer is always found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.’ And President Dallin H. Oaks, the Lord’s living prophet today, simply declared, ‘Jesus Christ is the way.’” (ibid.)

So here is my humble answer to my own question, “Because of David Goates, I was taught about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

Now, please consider the answer to that question as you insert your own name into that sentence. What will your legacy be? I hope the answers will be as enlightening to you as they have been for me this morning.

"Alive in Christ"

I am prompted this morning to say a few words about loving one another more fully. I posted online yesterday after a visit to the Mount Timpanogus Temple with Jeff for an endowment session, and I included our picture together.

Mount Timpanogus Temple

Back came this response from an anonymous source: “I genuinely miss when we drove Mormon scum out of the states.” I am not just imagining the recent escalation of anti-Mormon hatred online over this perpetual debate about whether Mormons are Christians. When I see it in my relatively obscure timeline on “X”, then it becomes real and intensely personal.

However, when I see these attacks in my timeline I am reminded that anonymous sources are simply sniping from behind whatever electronic cover is convenient. And then I even go so far as to wonder if some of these responses are nothing more than automatically generated from some AI source beyond my capacity to comprehend. Hence, I ignore them rather than attempt further engagement.

President Dallin H. Oaks in his most recent General Conference address at the conclusion of the two days, including the Solemn Assembly, observed:

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:43–44).

What a revolutionary teaching for personal relationships! Love even your enemies! But who are our enemies? The full meaning of enemies in the sources from which King James’s translators chose the word enemies includes military foes but even extends to any who actively oppose one another. Today we might say that we are commanded to love our adversaries. All mortals are beloved children of God. As President David O. McKay taught, “There is no better way to manifest love for God than to show an unselfish love for one’s fellowmen.” (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2026/04/49oaks?lang=eng).

Such vitriol coming from someone (or something) anonymous is one thing, but when it comes from one with whom we might be living under the same roof it is nearly unbearable. But for the saving grace offered by our Savior and Redeemer, we would be consumed and sorely tempted to fight back with all we have in retaliation. However, that is not the way of peacemakers, as suggested in President Oaks’ comments. His talk was entitled “Alive in Christ.”

… President Howard W. Hunter described this same love of God toward His children: “The world in which we live would benefit greatly if men and women everywhere would exercise the pure love of Christ, which is kind, meek, and lowly. … It has no place for bigotry, hatred, or violence. … It encourages diverse people to live together in Christian love regardless of religious belief, race, nationality, financial standing, education, or culture.” (ibid.)

It is so much easier to accept and try to live these principles on the wide stage of life in this electronic age that encompasses the broad expanse of the world at large. It’s easy for me to ignore the personal attacks like the one I cited above, but it is something quite different when we are faced with such hostility in our own homes and families.

I stood in fast and testimony meeting earlier this week to bear my witness of the divinity of my personal Savior Jesus Christ. I pointed out the simple symbols of the sacrament - the bread and the water - His flesh that was broken and tortured, producing a flow of blood from every pore in His body. His agony for the sins of those who had lived not only on this earth, but “on worlds without number” is truly mind-boggling to me. He voluntarily came to earth and surrendered, even as the Father withdrew at the height of His Son’s suffering. It was part of the Father’s plan for exaltation, including the sacrifice and the provision for a Savior in the premortal realms of the spirit world. We are instructed about those details with each endowment session we attend, as Jeff and I did yesterday.

Each of us can strive to follow our Savior in His teachings about how to relate to one another. This does not mean surrendering our values. The covenants we have made inevitably position us as devoted participants in the eternal contest between truth and error. We balance our various responsibilities.

This balancing is not easy. When we seek to keep all the commandments in our personal lives, we are sometimes accused of having no love for those who don’t. When we show personal love and support loving causes, we are sometimes misunderstood as implying support for results that contradict our other religious duties. But as followers of Christ, we should seek to live peaceably and lovingly with other children of God who do not share our values and do not have the covenant obligations we have assumed. In a democratic government we should seek fairness for all. In countless circumstances, strangers’ suspicions or even hostility gradually gives way to friendship when personal contacts produce mutual respect.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that we should “pour forth love” to all people. Speaking of our Savior, the Apostle John wrote, “We love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). We can follow the example of Jesus Christ, who is our role model, by choosing to love others — even if they show little or no love toward us. He declared, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9; see also 3 Nephi 12:9). (ibid., emphasis mine).

“Peacemakers” is (or should be) endemic in our discipleship, if we are truly followers of Jesus Christ who can be accurately characterized as Christians. Our critics outside the Church seem to be unrelenting. I suspect they will persist in their attacks until the Savior comes again to put an end to it all.

I read again about the Israelite child king Josiah yesterday after the temple session when I returned home. He was ordained at the age of eight, a descendant of King David. King Josiah reigned as the 16th king of Judah from approximately 640 to 609 BCE, ascending the throne at the age of eight after the assassination of his father, King Amon (2 Kings 22:1; 2 Chronicles 34:1). Despite his youth, he became one of Judah’s most righteous kings, contrasting sharply with his predecessors, including his grandfather Manasseh and father Amon, who had promoted idolatry. He tore down the “groves” where idolatry was prevalent among the Israelites, and restored the sanctity of temple worship. He opposed wickedness, and established peace in the people who were constantly swinging back and forth in their discipleship from the time they had been delivered from Egypt.

Putting this all in context, let me simply say that we are living in the end of times, truly, when our faith in Jesus Christ as our Deliverer is being tested to the uttermost degree imaginable. Be comforted, therefore, that what we are experiencing right now is not without precedent from Old Testament times until now. Remaining steadfast in our discipleship is not only desirable, it is also possible.

We have not been abandoned simply because moral agency is playing out right before our eyes. Some will choose poorly, determined to “win” in this world at the expense of others, simply because their definition of “winning” is tainted and corrupted.

Winning was defined instead as submitting in exchange for the fulfillment of a higher purpose - exaltation in the eternal realms up ahead.

We will attain those higher goals one day, as improbable as it may seem today. Of that reality I am growing daily in confidence.

The Work of This Last Dispensation

I noted with interest this morning that the Church reported a total membership of 17,887,212 at the end of December, 2025. In the first quarter of this year we no doubt have passed 18,000,000 members.

The world's population is now estimated at 8,300,000,000. If one were to plug those numbers into a calculator, you get a number like .002168% that represents the total percentage of people who have been baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in this final dispensation. 

Clearly, when one ponders this reality it can be a very disheartening prospect if we consider ourselves to be a missionary church as we do. Conversely, if one were to take the positive point of view with the same set of facts, why not conclude that our opportunities that await us in converting the world to the true blessings of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ are virtually unlimited. We are expanding our reach throughout the world now with new missionaries and new missions being organized in record numbers. 

Twin Granddaughter
Missionaries Being Endowed

I was edified this morning as I reviewed a pivotal address on an Easter Sunday by President Dallin H. Oaks in General Conference in 2018. He entitled it "Small and Simple Things." He encourages us to consider just how impactful our influence can be in situations we might be tempted by Satan to think are meaningless and so trivial that we can easily become discouraged or disheartened. The monumental tasks ahead of us seem insurmountable at times when we look at the raw data.

However, think of the rising number of our young people who are routinely answering the calls into the mission field worldwide these days. It's staggering to contemplate the collective influence for good their efforts represent. 

Remember, these are the most innocent and inexperienced people we could possibly imagine, yet they answer their calls with hope and anticipation unfettered by the judgments of the world. And perhaps most importantly, they are succeeding in staggering numbers as baptisms continue to rise and temples are spreading throughout the world to provide eternal ordinances for those seeking a covenant relationship with their Heavenly Father and their Savior Jesus Christ.

Second Coming

My conclusion today is that we may be intimidated by the sheer magnitude of the mountain yet to climb in this dispensation as we prepare the world for the Second Coming of our Savior Jesus Christ. But (and it's a BIG BUT) we are promised the final victory in this small sample from the gospel of John:

“I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6).

“I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8:12).

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33).

Have You Become Internet Dependent?

I asked myself that question all of last week with the demise of my router that had died of "old age." I had it tested to discover why my access to the internet had slowly been degrading over the last several weeks. I use STARLINK as my provider, and they agreed through their interactive AI "consultant" who spoke perfect English with a lilting and cheerful voice that "she" would be happy to send me a replacement disk and router at no charge to me. It was a week in transit, and when I received it yesterday via FedEx I was up and running within minutes. Internet access has become "plug and play."

Lindon Temple

During my week of internet exile, I was able to fill in the downtime by attending several temples nearby in Utah. One day I had a "double-header" with an endowment session for two twin granddaughters in the Mount Timpanogos Temple as they prepare to leave on their missions. Then the next day one of their sisters was sealed in the new Lindon Temple. 

Another day I was headed up north for the live endowment of a grandson, also preparing for his mission to Brazil later this summer. Along the way with ample time to spare I took in an initiatory and endowment session in the Brigham City Temple, then caught a bite to eat before moving on to Logan for the session with my grandson in the Logan Temple. It was a long day, to be sure, and I arrived home after 10:30 p.m. filled with the fulfillment that can only come in participating with beloved family members. 

The good brother who was supervising the initiatory ordinances in Brigham City Temple asked me if I were related the Goates family that lives in the Woodland Ward. I was stunned! I replied, "Well, yes I am. That's me!" His daughter lives in our ward, and she had been talking about our family with him for years. No matter how large the Church becomes there seems to be no end of obscure but meaningful connections among us. We are still personal in all our relationships.

Wednesday of last week was also filled with a drop-in endowment session in the Bountiful Temple, because I couldn't make a reservation without my internet access. I realized just how helpless I was when I couldn't even print a family name slip for any of my outings last week.

I live alone in my "now-it's-way-too-big" home. With access to the internet I am playing background music continually from my Apple Music library. Without the internet I am listening to nothing but the sounds of silence, and my loneliness is compounded. 

I am also connected through the worldwide community of "X" (formerly Twitter), which was absent from my life last week. Increasingly the members of the Church are connecting through that medium, and I am grateful to have discovered that population ever since Elon Musk, its creator, has cleaned it up for a more meaningful experience for all participants.

Logan Temple

Brigham City Temple

I will be the first to raise my hand in favor of the internet in my life. I will also admit to my dependency upon it these days. Even a week without it brought immeasurable joy as I picked up my delivery yesterday from FedEx and installed my new components to restore my access.