If you could hold on to just one memory from your life forever, what would that be?

On a periodic basis I receive questions from my family they would like me to answer as I compile my memoirs. This one came to me the other day from eldest daughter Dianne. Here's my response:

You want me to single out a single favorite memory from my whole life? Well, I find that request nearly impossible to fulfill. Why? Because at this stage my memories are flooding my brain almost continually. I look back with great fondness on all the events of my life. I tend to remember all the good things that happened, and I have been blessed with a memory that auto-erases all the bad ones. Call it selective memory if you wish, but that’s reality.

Life is such a blessing to me and to all of us. Mortality is a gift from our loving Father in Heaven. We yearned for it in the pre-existence, and we were in that vast throng of eager spirits who couldn’t wait to be born. I suspect we all knew we would have to wait a little longer than most, since we were selected to come here in the last dispensation.

We were told we were among the “noble and great ones” (see Abraham 3:21-23) who would be tasked with being valiant in preparation for the Lord’s triumphant return in the glorious Second Coming. If you’ve been asleep lately, you may have missed President Russell M. Nelson speaking directly to you as he urges and invites us to prepare for that day. He has done that in EVERY talk he has given since becoming the President of the Church. And he has spearheaded the building of temples worldwide to hasten our preparations spiritually.

I often refer to the writings of Elder Neal A. Maxwell for his perspectives on gospel topics, who offers this in relation to our first and second estates:

“Premortality is not a relaxing doctrine. For each of us, there are choices to be made, incessant and difficult chores to be done, ironies and adversities to be experienced, time to be well spent, talents and gifts to be well employed. Just because we were chosen ‘there and then,’ surely does not mean we can be indifferent ‘here and now.’ …

“In fact, adequacy in the first estate may merely have ensured a stern, second estate with more duties and no immunities! Additional tutoring and suffering appears to be the pattern for the Lord’s most apt pupils. (See Mosiah 3:19; 1 Peter 4:19.) Our existence, therefore, is a continuum matched by God’s stretching curriculum. …

“Agreeing to enter this second estate, therefore, was like agreeing in advance to anesthetic — the anesthetic of forgetfulness. Doctors do not deanesthetize a patient, in the midst of what was previously authorized, to ask him, again, if it should be continued. We agreed to come here and to undergo certain experiences under certain conditions” (“Premortality, a Glorious Reality,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 17).

William Wordsworth (1770-1850), famous poet, wrote:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
  Hath had elsewhere its setting
  And cometh from afar;
  Not in entire forgetfulness,
  And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
  From God, who is our home.

(Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood).

All those memories of our pre-existence were wiped from our memory at birth into this world. We can’t remember them for now, only so that we will learn in our tests of mortality to choose and to serve God. There must be an atmosphere of “entire forgetfulness” to prove our fidelity to God and to ourselves. Moral agency reigns supreme in this world, or the freedom to choose for ourselves without compulsion of any kind.

That said, however, reading and embracing the scriptures over the years has taught me there are brief glimpses through the veil into those pre-mortal realms. I have had persistent impressions, enough to convince me of my origins and the promises made and kept before I was born. I suspect it is the same of all of us if we will admit it to ourselves. So maybe we could say “partial forgetfulness” to open the door to understanding our divine nature.

Okay, good preamble, but you haven’t really answered the question posed to you. What’s that ONE memory you would hold with you forever? Put in those terms it’s really a simple choice for me.

It’s that very first date with Patsy Hewlett I would like to preserve in my mind forever. She was so pure, so radiant, and so filled with hope for the future. Her testimony of her Savior shone in her countenance, and that beauty radiated from her every moment of her life with me for as long as I can remember. Her whole soul, it seems to me, was reflected in her eyes. I felt as though I had always known her. I defined beauty in knowing who she was up close and personal. I reflect on that reality now every moment we are apart temporarily. I cling to that memory and that knowledge we will be together FOREVER.

On a social media platform the other day the question was posed to the community, “Are you happy being alone?” It was prescient, and hit me at one of those moments when I could accurately describe myself as ANYTHING but happy. So I answered with a declaration of my understanding of eternal marriage and my testimony of being together eternally with my companion of a lifetime. Many sent responses to me directly, thanking me for my candor. I will probably never change the world with my digital profile, but maybe I could reach one soul out there in cyberspace, and that would be worth my effort.

Only a few moments before I had noted an entry from a woman who purportedly had sexual intercourse with 1000 men in a 24-four period, and she was boasting of her achievement with her “after” picture. (I had to double-check for accuracy). She claimed to have had 24 abortions in her lifetime, and wasn’t the least bit concerned about her behavior. Instead, she claimed “happiness” had been achieved in her life. Another poster challenged, “Is she happy?” This is the world in which we find ourselves today. Do not be deceived, my dear ones.

Patsy and Melanie

This is the face of pure happiness, and it is a woman fully possessed in her knowledge of her divine purpose. You could substitute any of her children in that snapshot and it would have been the same. Oh, that face!!

This world today in its present state is where we reside physically, however it is NOT our spiritual destination eternally. That ultimate goal for each of us is where Patsy and all our progenitors are beckoning us to come. We live in their spiritual presence, and they are nearby to assist us in whatever extremity we may find ourselves. I feel routinely comforted by that knowledge and testify of their investment in our success.

Resurrection Morning

The Savior has prepared the way ahead for us, and we may trust Him in all we do. His plan is eternal in its nature, even though it appears sometimes to be unachievable. I give you my assurance as one who steps closer to eternity every day now, that it IS possible to live the plan of salvation fully and completely. We walk by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I can feel it reverberating in my aging bones.

Any memories beyond that very first and most endearing one of Patsy for me are merely more frosting on my many-layered chocolate cake of life. I love you all.

Rededication of the Ogden Utah Temple, A Testimony

This has been a great month so far. It began with a private tour of the new exhibit, "Foundations of Faith," at the Church History Library, which opened to the public recently. You can take the virtual tour here. Elder Steven E. (for Erastus) Snow, Church Historian and a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy, is also the home teacher to Julianna H. Hewlett, our beloved mother and grandmother. He is always so attentive, the model home teacher if there ever were one. He made the offer to Julie for a private tour of the exhibit, and we were the lucky invitees.

Elder Steven E. Snow

Elder Snow and his staff welcomed us the same afternoon the general presidencies of the Church's auxiliary organizations were also there for a private tour. They told us the General Authorities had visited earlier in the day. We were escorted through many of the Library's back rooms, and several Church artifacts were shown to us. It was a thrill to hold in our hands the canes Brigham Young once used, the more famous one being the one he planted in the ground on the very spot where he declared, "Here we will build a temple to our Lord."

Among other objects we were shown was an original Book of Mormon and a valuable and rare gold pocket watch Joseph Smith gave to Eliza R. Snow, a watch so ornate and delicately crafted with floral designs that no one would mistake its owner had to be a woman.

We also handled other pages of the original manuscript from which Oliver Cowdery wrote the translation of The Book of Mormon as the words flowed from Joseph. Only about 25 percent of that original manuscript survived after it was recovered from the damp cornerstone of the Nauvoo House many years later. In the handwriting of Oliver Cowdery, we read together: "I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he hath commanded them." (1 Nephi 3:7). These pages are carefully preserved in protective coverings like the page on display in the exhibit on the main floor of the Library. It is possible to know and feel the truth without seeing and touching, but I can bear my witness that the more of our senses that are involved only heightens the almost electric and tangible witness one receives.

I asked Sister Snow, who was with us, what of all the things her husband has shown her in the Library are her most treasured memories. Without hesitation, and with some obvious emotion, her reply was, "The sacred manuscript pages of the Book of Mormon." Many years ago, when President Harold B. Lee was living, he provided a similar experience to us as his family, and I have never forgotten the feelings I had then of viewing and carefully touching those pages. My answer was the same as hers.

It was a supernal thrill to gently turn the pages of an original Wilford Woodruff journal (one of many he kept during his lifetime). It was amazing to see the exquisite penmanship and the intricate artwork he meticulously crafted within the pages of his journal. Seldom a day passed during his lifetime with the Prophet Joseph when he did not record an entry detailing what the Prophet had said that day. We are indebted to him as a Church for preserving the Prophet's teachings in his journal.

Last weekend, the second event of note this month was being in the first stake conference under the direction of our new stake presidency. They are inspired men of God, and they walk the talk. Our new stake president asked us to pray for missionary opportunities, and within forty-eight hours of doing so we were blessed with the chance to entertain a dear associate from Mexico with whom I am acquainted in my work. He came to our home for dinner, spent the night, and we had breakfast together with him before returning to the city.



Our home is filled with pictures of our family, and artwork reflecting our love of the Lord Jesus Christ. It's hard to avoid asking the obvious questions associated with those evidences of our faith. And Francisco asked. We shared our testimonies, we answered many questions, and toward the end of the evening Patsy remembered we had a Spanish language copy of The Book of Mormon that has resided in our home since son Steve returned from his mission to Mexico. We gave it to him, and encouraged him to read it. He said he would.

President Harold B. Lee (l),
President Joseph Fielding Smith (c),
President Nathan Eldon Tanner (r)

Today was the rededication of the Ogden Utah Temple. Here's a wonderful aerial video of the new temple. Forty-two years ago in January, 1972, we were present in the celestial room of the original Ogden Temple when it was dedicated. At the time, the First Presidency consisted of Joseph Fielding Smith, Harold B. Lee, and Nathan Eldon Tanner. We were in close proximity in those cloistered confines, and something unusual was happening during the proceedings. There was a large chandelier in the celestial room that was slowly rotating with the air circulating from the HVAC system. The crystal droplets in the chandelier were causing shadows from the TV lights, and those shadows would cross the faces of the speakers at the podium. It was noticeable to all in attendance in the celestial room and an obvious distraction. However, when all three members of the First Presidency spoke their faces were so luminous there were no shadows whatsoever. Instead, their faces were bathed in a light that overcame the shadows, a fitting symbol to me.

Newly rededicated Ogden Utah Temple

My father captured that day  and the subsequent power of the dedication of the sister temple in Provo, Utah, a few weeks later in his biography about President Lee in these words:

"Following the closing session President Lee's eldest grandson, David Goates, telephoned his grandfather to tell him of his unusual experience. David, his wife, Patsy, and his mother, Helen, all reported having seen a brilliant light at the pulpit whenever the First Presidency members stood to speak in the celestial room of the temple. The light, however, did not envelop the other speakers.

"Three weeks later the companion temple in Provo, Utah, was dedicated. Because of more Church buildings on the campus of nearby Brigham Young University, linked by closed circuit television, an estimated thirty-five thousand or more were in attendance for each of the sessions.

Ogden Utah Temple, 1972

"As at the Ogden Temple dedication, President Lee was the concluding speaker, after which he gave the dedicatory prayer and led the Hosanna Shout. In his sermon, President Lee was impressed to speak of some personal spiritual experiences which unmistakably indicated the nearness to those on the other side of the veil. Elder Alvin R. Dyer testified later that he had seen the deceased President David O. McKay there, along with others whom he couldn't identify. Sister Norma Anderson, wife of Elder Joseph Anderson, Assistant to the Twelve and long-time faithful secretary to the First Presidency, also saw her own mother. President Lee noted in his journal that he was watching the strange look on Sister Anderson's face as she was probably witnessing this visitation.

"Two BYU students seated in one of the large campus buildings told President Lee that many of the Saints were shedding tears when the prayer and the Hosanna Shout were delivered and also during the concluding anthem sung by the choir. The Holy Spirit visited these television-linked buildings with the same power as in the temple proper." (Harold B. Lee: Prophet and Seer, L. Brent Goates, 430).

Odgen Temple Celestial Room

Today, many stake centers in Utah were invited to be part of the dedication during three sessions. However, the broadcast into our stake center was fraught with technical glitches. It was analogous to my first experience where the distractions were obvious to all. Each time a different speaker was announced the video feed would be lost and only the audio was heard, and there were audible groans of disappointment from the audience. What was reminiscent of my experience in the original Ogden Temple dedication was that when President Monson was announced, the video feed cleared up and we had a perfect experience, both audio and video, with President Monson.

It may seem a small coincidence to some, but to me it was significant. You see, when the video feed kept failing, I offered a silent prayer that all would be privileged in the remote stake center where we were located to see and hear President Monson's remarks and his dedicatory prayer. And my little prayer was answered.

President Monson, Elder Kent Richards

When we concluded the Hosanna Shout and began singing "The Spirit of God," my heart was full to overflowing for the gratitude I feel to be living in a day when living prophets are among us and temples now dot the earth among every nation, kindred and tongue. The sun never sets on the temples of our God, an emblem of increasing light and truth as we share the fullness of the gospel with all who will embrace the invitation to come out of a troubling and ever-darker world around us. With this rededication of another temple, we take one step closer to the establishment of ZION in these last days, and the fight against evil continues as the wars and rumors of wars drone on in our ears.

Imagine a place on earth where one can go to find peace in this chaotic world. Imagine where one can go to have your family sealed together by priesthood authority for time and for all eternity. Imagine a place where a name of a loved one can be placed upon an altar in the temple, and the combined faith and prayers of thousands of faithful brothers and sisters can ascend to heaven on their behalf every day. Imagine knowing that all this is possible because there is a God in heaven, there is a Savior, Jesus Christ, who has redeemed all mankind from sin and death upon conditions of repentance and a Holy Ghost who testifies of these truths. Imagine that all you have just read is true and you can partake for the mere asking.

You don't have to imagine it at all, because it is my witness that it is true. And that's very real.

True Happiness

Patsy Hewlett Goates

A voice hath spoken from the dust,
Its message pure, without alloy,
Of treasured hope and sacred trust:
Oh, "men are that they might have joy."

Should sorrow come, we'll not despair,
For He would not that men should pine.
The grief that comes we'll learn to bear
Until again the sun doth shine.

Before the Lord, then, humbly go.
His message will our spirits buoy.
On us his blessings he'll bestow,
For "men are that they might have joy." (Hymns, no. 275)

"Adam fell that man might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
"And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. "And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
"And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit." (2 Nephi 2:25-28, emphasis mine).

Two years ago I was writing near this same day in the calendar, and I thought I was happy then. There is nothing to compare with the joy of a righteous posterity, which gives me the title for today's post. Two years ago our youngest daughter, Merilee, was preparing to leave to serve as a missionary in the Washington DC South Mission. Little did we know then what we know today about the impact that decision to serve a mission would have upon her life and ours.

While serving there, she met and worked with many, many missionaries. She was the first Sister Trainer Leader called when that new position was implemented, putting sister missionaries for the first time in the zone leader council meetings in missions throughout the world. She had the opportunity to serve many missionaries as the age limit was lowered to encourage more to serve.

President Ronald A. Rasband

We are informed by President Ronald A. Rasband, Senior President of the Seventy who now resides in our ward, that the number of full-time missionaries is expected to top out around 91,000 this fall sometime. As a result of that surge of missionaries, Merilee's mission was split and the southern boundary of their mission was swallowed up in a new mission.

Out of the Washington DC South Mission and into that new mission was transferred one of the Assistants to President Matt Riggs, Elder Michael Litchfield. They would not see each other again until after their missions. Returning within a week of each other, he to Washington state and Merilee to Utah, they began to commiserate through e-mails about how difficult their adjustment back to "normal life" seemed to each of them. Merilee suggested he come to Utah to seek employment and continue his education. You know, that's what friends do for each other.

Merilee and Michael

Within days (not weeks), he came to Utah, found a job in the same company where she was working, and by Christmas Eve it was apparent this relationship had flourished and prospered beyond their fleeting friendship as missionaries who had "locked their hearts" from any and all thoughts of anything but missionary work. Their relationship had been forged initially based upon their shared respect and admiration for each other as missionaries. Imagine his delight when they called President Riggs to inform him they had officially "unlocked their hearts" and planned to be married! Because of their missions, both Michael and Merilee have now "sealed their hearts" for each other and each chose an eternal companion for themselves neither may have considered without that mission experience.

True happiness in this life consists of one thing - obtaining a body. That was Joseph Smith's simplest answer when asked. Said he: "The great principle of happiness consists in having a body." (TPJS, 181.) In another place, he continued: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God." (Ibid., 255). Further, the Lord revealed, "This is my work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39).We are spirit creations of God, and the mortal parents of children are partners with God in the creation process.

All the bodies that have been born on this planet and myriads of others like it have one thing in common: Physical bodies are the result of a man and a woman who procreate to open the door to mortality. A married couple must bring to pass the mortality of man and woman first before there can be any thoughts of immortality and eternal life. The single state is impotent and devoid of the power to procreate. The patriarchal order of the priesthood is meaningless without matriarchs. Kings cannot be kings without a Queen. Priests cannot be priests without a Priestess. There is no other way children are born except where medical science has been enabled to offer an "assist".

President Ezra Taft Benson

I think then-Elder Ezra Taft Benson sums up my feelings. His words are my words:

"When the God of heaven said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, he didn't insert any provisos.

"So, my brothers and sisters, think seriously about these things. Pray about them. Fast about them. The Lord will give you the answer because he wants you to succeed. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to have the blessings of righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where for physical and other reasons parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! Children are jewels. Blessed is the man or the woman who has a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family — parenthood — sacrifice. It's worth any sacrifice, practically, in order to have those sweet spirits come into your home and to come early, that you might enjoy them for a longer period; that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period; and that their children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period.

"May I again assure you that the Lord wants you to be happy. He wants you to be successful. He wants you to be good citizens of this great country. But above all, he wants you to live so that you will be exalted in the celestial kingdom of God. The door is open. The plan is here. The authority and the power is here. It's up to you. If we live according to that plan, we'll be happy; we'll be successful; we'll love this country and be good citizens of it; and we will be exalted in the celestial kingdom." (Delivered at Washington Stake M Men and Gleaner Fireside, March 28, 1954, reprinted in So Shall Ye Reap, Reed A. Benson, Ezra Taft Benson, 1960, 190-91,emphasis mine).

Let us therefore rejoice and be happy in the eternal marriage covenant. We find joy in the eternal family unit. All other forms of happiness are transitory and fleeting. True happiness is found in the family, and I am so thankful for each who contributes in my life to that fullness of joy.

Family Reunion 2013 (several missing)

The White Wedding Dress

This past week our granddaughter wore her grandmother's wedding dress. Ashley Bayles was a beautiful bride, as she and Tyler Johns solemnized their wedding vows in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. I hadn't seen that dress in forty-four years, and the mere sight of it brought with it an unexpected rush of emotions and memories.

Ashley Johns, Dianne Bayles, Patsy Goates, Peggy Weight

Patsy and her mother picked the dress in an exclusive shop in Melbourne, Australia, where she was living with her parents while her father was serving as a mission president. They brought the dress home and we were sealed on a warm sunny day, December 19th, 1969. And now here we were together with our granddaughter and her husband on December 21st, 2013! Time had collapsed around us. Four generations of faithful women stood together shoulder to shoulder.

The dress had been carefully tucked away for many years but was in need of cleaning. A careful and thorough dry-cleaning and a few nips and tucks here and there restored it to its once former radiant glory. On a dreary cold and snowy Saturday December day it was luminous and dazzlingly white. As she and Tyler exited the temple to greet friends and family waiting on the grounds outside for pictures, there was a catch in my throat and tears began to flow. Could it be possible that my bride had worn this same dress forty-four years ago?

Ashley and Tyler Johns

As we walked around to the front of the temple I was bombarded with memories of that day and all the days that followed. I reflected on how much I loved the woman who had worn it first so long ago. I remembered and relived the emotions of our wedding day. We had embarked on our eternal marriage journey full of hope in an uncertain future that awaited us, like all newlyweds. What would the future hold? Were we prepared for what life would bring us?

And now instead of looking forward with all those uncertain feelings, I found myself looking back over the path we had walked together with a sense of gratitude, calm and sweet serenity. I found I had forgotten everything that seemed fearful, uncertain or foreboding. In its place my memories were sweet and fulfilling, the culmination of forty-four years together with the same bride I cherished then. The love I felt then which seemed so all-consuming was merely a foretaste of the love I now feel. Patsy's white hair had replaced the white dress, an enduring testament to her constant purity and goodness. Her life had become the embodiment of what her white wedding dress had only symbolized so many years ago. The promise of what it once suggested had been delivered.

I wish I had words to express to young people what it means to live a life of virtue and selfless service. To know Patsy is to understand it without words. Ashley has expressed it beautifully in her tribute to her Grandma Patsy in this blog post of her own.

Ashley Johns and Grandma Patsy

I find there is only one way to communicate what it means to embrace the covenant relationship with God. It is to obey, sacrifice, walk the daily gospel path, remain chaste and to consecrate one's self to the task of building up the kingdom of God on the earth. It is to cleave to one another and to none others, and it is to cleave unto God and no other gods. It is to walk on a straight and narrow path that leads to eternal life in a very far distant day. It is to believe and to trust God. It is to embrace God's ways, His attributes and His Son. It is to come to know Them through all the twists and turns of mortality. It is to lean into the fierce winds and the howling voices of opposition that assail us in an increasingly hostile world and to remain true and faithful through it all.

Together Patsy and I have come down that path of mortality a very great distance. We now have more to look back upon than to look forward to. We have sown our seeds in fertile gospel soil, we have nurtured the seedlings, and we are now harvesting the mature crop. It is a rich harvest as we survey our vast fields. As we harvest the good memories, we also see before us many little blades of new green shoots popping up, assuring us the future will continue to produce nothing but good fruit.

When we stand in a mirrored chamber within sacred precincts, we now find ourselves in the unique position of understanding even better today than we did forty-four years ago what it is to see into eternity in both directions. In so many ways the symbols of the temple have found fulfillment in our lives. We know what it is to accept the torch of faithfulness from our ancestors, carry that torch for two or three generations, then pass it along for future generations.

As we witnessed Ashley and Tyler's sealing ceremony, I came closer to understanding what my Grandfather must have experienced that day, emotions spilling over as he uttered the words, "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth." In that room on Saturday sat the fulfillment of what had once only been the hope that posterity would eventually come to us. We had lived long enough to be surrounded by the embodiment of goodness and purity and joy. There is nothing to compare with the peace and serenity of a righteous posterity. Nothing. No other compensation can suffice.

The temple symbol of a white dress had become a reality in the lives of our children and grandchildren.

Mormon Temples Now Dot the Earth

This fifteen minute video explains the purposes of Mormon temples, and takes you beyond the doors for an insider's view of the rooms. Temples now dot the wide expanse of the Earth in many nations. In recent years, the leaders of the Church have had the goal to make the temple available to most members so they can find a temple within 200 miles of their home. If one had to summarize the purpose of the temple in simple terms it would be the uniting families for eternity through sacred covenants administered by priesthood authority within the walls of the temples.

Connections and Reflections: From Mormon Missionary to Husband

Missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints now dot the globe spreading the word of God everywhere. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) is one of the most active modern practitioners of missionary work, with over fifty thousand full-time missionaries worldwide, as of the end of 2010. Commonly referred to as "Mormon missionaries," most LDS Church missionaries are single young men and women in their late teens and early twenties and are assigned to a mission which is usually far from the missionary's home. LDS missionaries serve voluntarily. They do not receive a salary for the work they undertake, and most are financially supported by themselves or their families. 

Throughout the history of the Church, over one million missionaries have been sent on missions. They learn many lessons to prepare them for their future lives as husbands, wives and eventually fathers and mothers during their two-year voluntary service. 

Today’s guest blogger shares his insights:

Missionaries learn about human relationships

A mission offers multiple opportunities to spend large amounts of time with many different personalities. Periodically assignments change, but in a two-year mission one will have worked with perhaps a dozen or more different companions in a 24/7 relationship. Each must work with the other through a myriad of life situations. Not only did my mission help me to understand my spouse better, but when she comes to me for advice about someone she’s having a conflict with I can offer advice about what I’ve seen before.

Communication resolution with companions

I learned a lot about myself on my mission. When conflict arose between missionaries (hold your breath, it happens), I learned how I preferred to be approached by someone else who was attempting to resolve whatever gap we were experiencing in clear communication. That’s usually where most conflict happens – not understanding one another. It’s true among missionaries, and it’s a model for world conflict too.

I had important, open, honest relationships with companions stemming from our ability to help each other to do our best. At the time, I know I did not fully appreciate how much that sounds to me like what it takes to make a successful marriage.

A mission gives unique perspective into families and family life

 Daily, missionaries can observe many different families; how they live, how they interact, what’s important to them, what they are doing that works and even their philosophy about raising children. It’s a laboratory of observation, rich with lessons for the “student” missionary. I was able to see great examples and “less than ideal” ones too. I observed in others the way they treated their spouses, raised their children, taught their children, magnified their Church callings, and balanced the demands of life between home, work and Church.

These encounters clarified my vision for my future home, and how I wanted to raise a righteous posterity.

Missionaries defer dating and relationships with girls

One of my first areas where I served was the campus at Ohio State University. As I served on the OSU campus, many were shocked to learn we weren’t allowed to date, kiss, or spend any time with girls for social reasons. Many times, when other students learned of this requirement we were openly ridiculed. Now as a married man, I am very grateful for the ability to avoid “the second glance,” as my mission president called it. There is temptation everywhere. As a missionary, I learned the lesson to fight temptation to retain the spirit. Sacrificing the ways and the praise of the world in a successful marriage is what true discipleship is all about.

Missionaries learn to value symbols

Missionaries who understand and value the symbol of wearing their name tag will understand and value the symbol of a wedding ring. As I put on my name tag everyday, I thought about whom I was representing (the Lord, the Church, my family) and it changed the way I approached my day. Now as I put on my wedding ring, I realize it represents my commitment to to my wife, and I strive to act in a way that would make her happy.

Life in general is all about understanding symbols. If we can learn to understand and appreciate the symbols of the temple, it will give us strength and power to live the covenants we make. President Jensen, my mission president, taught me so much about temple symbolism, and that has served me well as I take my wife to the temple and we learn together.

All young men are accountable to their future wives

All men will one day have to look their sweetheart in the eyes and be accountable to them for their past. A righteous wife (especially if she is a returned missionary) will want to know all about your mission, and she will know instantly if you were effective or not. My future wife while we were dating wanted to meet my mission parents, but they were still serving so we “Skyped” a video call on a Sunday afternoon and she was able to hear it right from the horse’s mouth. There’s absolutely no chance I would have even been a possibility in her mind if my mission president had told her I was a slacker.

Issues with pornography will be reported. Rightfully so, your wife will expect accountability for experiences, and struggles with pornography. If it’s hard to grasp that you’ll be accountable before God, picture how devastating it will be as you have to tell your girlfriend/fiancee/wife about issues with pornography. We are free to choose, it is true, and that is a great blessing, but what is also true is accountability always follows for those choices.

My wife asked me after dating for about two weeks if it was an issue for me in the past. I was filled with gratitude because I was able to look directly into her beautiful eyes and answer with confidence about my personal purity. A whole lifetime of “putting off the natural man,” paid off in that single instant. I was accountable, I knew it, she knew it, and now together we are still accountable before God as a partner in our marriage.

A mission teaches how to prioritize and plan time and money

Time management is an important skill for many aspects of life. Balancing school, work, church, dates, volunteering, and everything else becomes much less daunting if you’ve had a planner full of appointments, and busy days going to meetings, appointments, baptisms and interviews.

A mission is an important time to learn how a budget works. Missionaries are on a fixed budget. It provides a perfect opportunity to develop a working budget. Missionaries who consistently delve into “personal funds” lose this valuable opportunity to learn how to govern their money rather than the other way around.

In the words of President Jensen: “If you make $5 and spend $6, you’ll never be happy. If you don’t know where your money is going, you’ll never make enough. ALWAYS PAY YOUR TITHING!”

Companionship study

When missionary companions study together early each morning, they learn how to effectively testify and to discuss the content of the scriptures. How do you approach scripture study with your wife and family? How do you bear testimony to family, friends or acquaintances in a natural, conversational way? These questions are easily addressed after two years of effective companionship studies. Unfortunately, many missionaries waste this precious time and never get it back.

Studying, testifying, and learning with my missionary companion helped to make gospel discussion and family scripture study a natural, fulfilling and deeply rewarding mutual experience with my wife.

Missionaries learn to love through service

Serving my companions, investigators, and strangers taught me how to love the way Christ loved people. Success in marriage requires charity, the pure love of Christ.

Many missionaries come home from their missions and flounder, as if they don’t know what steps come next in their eternal progression. My journey continued after my mission and was filled with many frustrating experiences. Most of it, however, related only to my desire to take the next logical step in my life of service as a missionary, and that was finding my eternal companion.

Conclusion

My mission was the perfect preparation for my marriage in all the ways cited above. I can’t imagine even knowing where to begin in a marriage relationship without all the valuable lessons learned as a missionary. Young men who are wondering if they should serve would be well advised to step forward and upward. Be faithful and prayerful. Make the decision to go. Serve well, work hard, and prepare yourselves for marriage to the girl of your dreams later on.

She’s out there wondering where in the world she’s going to find a returned missionary who can fulfill all her dreams and expectations.