On a periodic basis I receive questions from my family they would like me to answer as I compile my memoirs. This one came to me the other day from eldest daughter Dianne. Here's my response:
You want me to single out a single favorite memory from my whole life? Well, I find that request nearly impossible to fulfill. Why? Because at this stage my memories are flooding my brain almost continually. I look back with great fondness on all the events of my life. I tend to remember all the good things that happened, and I have been blessed with a memory that auto-erases all the bad ones. Call it selective memory if you wish, but that’s reality.
Life is such a blessing to me and to all of us. Mortality is a gift from our loving Father in Heaven. We yearned for it in the pre-existence, and we were in that vast throng of eager spirits who couldn’t wait to be born. I suspect we all knew we would have to wait a little longer than most, since we were selected to come here in the last dispensation.
We were told we were among the “noble and great ones” (see Abraham 3:21-23) who would be tasked with being valiant in preparation for the Lord’s triumphant return in the glorious Second Coming. If you’ve been asleep lately, you may have missed President Russell M. Nelson speaking directly to you as he urges and invites us to prepare for that day. He has done that in EVERY talk he has given since becoming the President of the Church. And he has spearheaded the building of temples worldwide to hasten our preparations spiritually.
I often refer to the writings of Elder Neal A. Maxwell for his perspectives on gospel topics, who offers this in relation to our first and second estates:
“Premortality is not a relaxing doctrine. For each of us, there are choices to be made, incessant and difficult chores to be done, ironies and adversities to be experienced, time to be well spent, talents and gifts to be well employed. Just because we were chosen ‘there and then,’ surely does not mean we can be indifferent ‘here and now.’ …
“In fact, adequacy in the first estate may merely have ensured a stern, second estate with more duties and no immunities! Additional tutoring and suffering appears to be the pattern for the Lord’s most apt pupils. (See Mosiah 3:19; 1 Peter 4:19.) Our existence, therefore, is a continuum matched by God’s stretching curriculum. …
“Agreeing to enter this second estate, therefore, was like agreeing in advance to anesthetic — the anesthetic of forgetfulness. Doctors do not deanesthetize a patient, in the midst of what was previously authorized, to ask him, again, if it should be continued. We agreed to come here and to undergo certain experiences under certain conditions” (“Premortality, a Glorious Reality,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 17).
William Wordsworth (1770-1850), famous poet, wrote:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.
(Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood).
All those memories of our pre-existence were wiped from our memory at birth into this world. We can’t remember them for now, only so that we will learn in our tests of mortality to choose and to serve God. There must be an atmosphere of “entire forgetfulness” to prove our fidelity to God and to ourselves. Moral agency reigns supreme in this world, or the freedom to choose for ourselves without compulsion of any kind.
That said, however, reading and embracing the scriptures over the years has taught me there are brief glimpses through the veil into those pre-mortal realms. I have had persistent impressions, enough to convince me of my origins and the promises made and kept before I was born. I suspect it is the same of all of us if we will admit it to ourselves. So maybe we could say “partial forgetfulness” to open the door to understanding our divine nature.
Okay, good preamble, but you haven’t really answered the question posed to you. What’s that ONE memory you would hold with you forever? Put in those terms it’s really a simple choice for me.
It’s that very first date with Patsy Hewlett I would like to preserve in my mind forever. She was so pure, so radiant, and so filled with hope for the future. Her testimony of her Savior shone in her countenance, and that beauty radiated from her every moment of her life with me for as long as I can remember. Her whole soul, it seems to me, was reflected in her eyes. I felt as though I had always known her. I defined beauty in knowing who she was up close and personal. I reflect on that reality now every moment we are apart temporarily. I cling to that memory and that knowledge we will be together FOREVER.
On a social media platform the other day the question was posed to the community, “Are you happy being alone?” It was prescient, and hit me at one of those moments when I could accurately describe myself as ANYTHING but happy. So I answered with a declaration of my understanding of eternal marriage and my testimony of being together eternally with my companion of a lifetime. Many sent responses to me directly, thanking me for my candor. I will probably never change the world with my digital profile, but maybe I could reach one soul out there in cyberspace, and that would be worth my effort.
Only a few moments before I had noted an entry from a woman who purportedly had sexual intercourse with 1000 men in a 24-four period, and she was boasting of her achievement with her “after” picture. (I had to double-check for accuracy). She claimed to have had 24 abortions in her lifetime, and wasn’t the least bit concerned about her behavior. Instead, she claimed “happiness” had been achieved in her life. Another poster challenged, “Is she happy?” This is the world in which we find ourselves today. Do not be deceived, my dear ones.
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| Patsy and Melanie |
This is the face of pure happiness, and it is a woman fully possessed in her knowledge of her divine purpose. You could substitute any of her children in that snapshot and it would have been the same. Oh, that face!!
This world today in its present state is where we reside physically, however it is NOT our spiritual destination eternally. That ultimate goal for each of us is where Patsy and all our progenitors are beckoning us to come. We live in their spiritual presence, and they are nearby to assist us in whatever extremity we may find ourselves. I feel routinely comforted by that knowledge and testify of their investment in our success.
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| Resurrection Morning |
The Savior has prepared the way ahead for us, and we may trust Him in all we do. His plan is eternal in its nature, even though it appears sometimes to be unachievable. I give you my assurance as one who steps closer to eternity every day now, that it IS possible to live the plan of salvation fully and completely. We walk by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I can feel it reverberating in my aging bones.
Any memories beyond that very first and most endearing one of Patsy for me are merely more frosting on my many-layered chocolate cake of life. I love you all.
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