If you could hold on to just one memory from your life forever, what would that be?

On a periodic basis I receive questions from my family they would like me to answer as I compile my memoirs. This one came to me the other day from eldest daughter Dianne. Here's my response:

You want me to single out a single favorite memory from my whole life? Well, I find that request nearly impossible to fulfill. Why? Because at this stage my memories are flooding my brain almost continually. I look back with great fondness on all the events of my life. I tend to remember all the good things that happened, and I have been blessed with a memory that auto-erases all the bad ones. Call it selective memory if you wish, but that’s reality.

Life is such a blessing to me and to all of us. Mortality is a gift from our loving Father in Heaven. We yearned for it in the pre-existence, and we were in that vast throng of eager spirits who couldn’t wait to be born. I suspect we all knew we would have to wait a little longer than most, since we were selected to come here in the last dispensation.

We were told we were among the “noble and great ones” (see Abraham 3:21-23) who would be tasked with being valiant in preparation for the Lord’s triumphant return in the glorious Second Coming. If you’ve been asleep lately, you may have missed President Russell M. Nelson speaking directly to you as he urges and invites us to prepare for that day. He has done that in EVERY talk he has given since becoming the President of the Church. And he has spearheaded the building of temples worldwide to hasten our preparations spiritually.

I often refer to the writings of Elder Neal A. Maxwell for his perspectives on gospel topics, who offers this in relation to our first and second estates:

“Premortality is not a relaxing doctrine. For each of us, there are choices to be made, incessant and difficult chores to be done, ironies and adversities to be experienced, time to be well spent, talents and gifts to be well employed. Just because we were chosen ‘there and then,’ surely does not mean we can be indifferent ‘here and now.’ …

“In fact, adequacy in the first estate may merely have ensured a stern, second estate with more duties and no immunities! Additional tutoring and suffering appears to be the pattern for the Lord’s most apt pupils. (See Mosiah 3:19; 1 Peter 4:19.) Our existence, therefore, is a continuum matched by God’s stretching curriculum. …

“Agreeing to enter this second estate, therefore, was like agreeing in advance to anesthetic — the anesthetic of forgetfulness. Doctors do not deanesthetize a patient, in the midst of what was previously authorized, to ask him, again, if it should be continued. We agreed to come here and to undergo certain experiences under certain conditions” (“Premortality, a Glorious Reality,” Ensign, Nov. 1985, 17).

William Wordsworth (1770-1850), famous poet, wrote:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
  Hath had elsewhere its setting
  And cometh from afar;
  Not in entire forgetfulness,
  And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
  From God, who is our home.

(Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood).

All those memories of our pre-existence were wiped from our memory at birth into this world. We can’t remember them for now, only so that we will learn in our tests of mortality to choose and to serve God. There must be an atmosphere of “entire forgetfulness” to prove our fidelity to God and to ourselves. Moral agency reigns supreme in this world, or the freedom to choose for ourselves without compulsion of any kind.

That said, however, reading and embracing the scriptures over the years has taught me there are brief glimpses through the veil into those pre-mortal realms. I have had persistent impressions, enough to convince me of my origins and the promises made and kept before I was born. I suspect it is the same of all of us if we will admit it to ourselves. So maybe we could say “partial forgetfulness” to open the door to understanding our divine nature.

Okay, good preamble, but you haven’t really answered the question posed to you. What’s that ONE memory you would hold with you forever? Put in those terms it’s really a simple choice for me.

It’s that very first date with Patsy Hewlett I would like to preserve in my mind forever. She was so pure, so radiant, and so filled with hope for the future. Her testimony of her Savior shone in her countenance, and that beauty radiated from her every moment of her life with me for as long as I can remember. Her whole soul, it seems to me, was reflected in her eyes. I felt as though I had always known her. I defined beauty in knowing who she was up close and personal. I reflect on that reality now every moment we are apart temporarily. I cling to that memory and that knowledge we will be together FOREVER.

On a social media platform the other day the question was posed to the community, “Are you happy being alone?” It was prescient, and hit me at one of those moments when I could accurately describe myself as ANYTHING but happy. So I answered with a declaration of my understanding of eternal marriage and my testimony of being together eternally with my companion of a lifetime. Many sent responses to me directly, thanking me for my candor. I will probably never change the world with my digital profile, but maybe I could reach one soul out there in cyberspace, and that would be worth my effort.

Only a few moments before I had noted an entry from a woman who purportedly had sexual intercourse with 1000 men in a 24-four period, and she was boasting of her achievement with her “after” picture. (I had to double-check for accuracy). She claimed to have had 24 abortions in her lifetime, and wasn’t the least bit concerned about her behavior. Instead, she claimed “happiness” had been achieved in her life. Another poster challenged, “Is she happy?” This is the world in which we find ourselves today. Do not be deceived, my dear ones.

Patsy and Melanie

This is the face of pure happiness, and it is a woman fully possessed in her knowledge of her divine purpose. You could substitute any of her children in that snapshot and it would have been the same. Oh, that face!!

This world today in its present state is where we reside physically, however it is NOT our spiritual destination eternally. That ultimate goal for each of us is where Patsy and all our progenitors are beckoning us to come. We live in their spiritual presence, and they are nearby to assist us in whatever extremity we may find ourselves. I feel routinely comforted by that knowledge and testify of their investment in our success.

Resurrection Morning

The Savior has prepared the way ahead for us, and we may trust Him in all we do. His plan is eternal in its nature, even though it appears sometimes to be unachievable. I give you my assurance as one who steps closer to eternity every day now, that it IS possible to live the plan of salvation fully and completely. We walk by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I can feel it reverberating in my aging bones.

Any memories beyond that very first and most endearing one of Patsy for me are merely more frosting on my many-layered chocolate cake of life. I love you all.

Christmas: What Do You Remember?

Once again, someone sent me a marvelous post for Christmas.  I've protected the identities here for obvious reasons, but the message is more important than the identities:

Isaiah 9:6:   “For unto a child is born, unto us a son is given: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”

Take a journey with me for a moment.  

Think back to a childhood Christmas…what do you remember?   Where was your focus?   What did your testimony of the Savior consist of?   Did you know what that meant, for Jesus Christ to be your personal Savior?  

As a child, Christmas was a magical time in our home.   My mom would knock herself out to provide a perfect celebration.   We made caramels and toffee, decorated gingerbread houses, picked a different Christmas pillowcase each week of December, she made Christmas pj’s which we opened Christmas Eve, and every night we would gather together as a family and burn our advent candle and read a scripture story about Jesus and his character so we could come to know him better and understand who He is and what He has done for us.

Now move on to your teenage years…what were your Christmases like then?   How did your testimony of the Savior deepen?   What was your foundation - rock or sand?   What trials were you experiencing?   Did that build your faith or tear it down?

As my family continued to grow each year –  I marveled at how my parents continued to uphold the righteous traditions we had started so many years before.   As a child we had a few Santa decorations which we would haul out every year, but as we got older, my parents’ focus shifted more and more to the Savior.   My mom started collecting and putting nativity scenes all over the house, everyone noticed and as all collections –  it grew exponentially.   She now probably has more than 100 nativities ranging from one you can cup in your palm to baby doll size and very diverse from many different countries.  

Our Christmas Eves were amazing experiences as well.   My parents knew that due to the excitement of so many children opening presents on Christmas morning, the true meaning of Christmas might be glossed over or lost completely.   So from a very young age, on Christmas Eve, after a fancy delicious meal, we would act out the nativity.   We always had plenty of people to play the parts and my mom would always find costumes that we could wear to make it seem more real.   I especially remember the years that I played the part of Mary and the angel coming to the shepherds to proclaim “glad tidings of great joy which shall be to all people.   For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord!”  

As a teenager I had read The Book of Mormon and my testimony was being strengthened as I participated in Seminary and Young Women.   I was realizing that it was all real, the Savior had died for me.   That gave me the faith to “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”  

When my youngest sister died a couple of weeks before Christmas, our testimonies were tried and miracles happened and peace came to support and sustain us.   Through that experience, we learned for ourselves that Families are Forever.   It was no longer just a song we sang, or a good idea, it was real.   We understood what Alma meant when he said “whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.”

Now think about Christmas in your early 20s.   Maybe you were on a mission, in college, or a newlywed.   How did your testimony of the Savior grow as you started having children and became more selfless and aware of the needs of others?   How did your perspective change as you were heavy with child or had a new baby during the holiday season?   Did you relate to Mary and Joseph in a new and completely different way?

I remember reading my scriptures diligently, not wanting my missionary friends to come home so ahead of me.   I remember praying for guidance and confirmation to know if this boy I was dating was the “right one.”   And the answer was “YES!”

What a blessing in our lives to be able to receive revelation from our Heavenly Father.   Mary received revelation when the angel Gabriel appeared and said, “Blessed art thou among women, thou hast found favour with God and behold, thou shalt conceive and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.   He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest.”   Joseph received revelation when an angel appeared in a dream and told him “fear not to take unto thee Mary to wife: she shall bring forth a son and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.”

Jennie was born January 11, 2000.   So during December 1999, I was great with child and very uncomfortable.   On Christmas Eve, we drove to my parents an hour away and up a 2 ½ mile ice-rutted dirt road and the last thing I could imagine that night was riding on a donkey for days on end from Galilee to Bethlehem!   As we hold our little ones in our arms and are amazed with each new thing they learn and concept they grasp and master, we get a sense of their potential and realize what it must of meant when it says in Luke that “Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”   What an incredible experience it is to watch as our children “grow and wax strong in the spirit, increase in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” as Mary and Joseph observed in Jesus.

Now think about your life this past year 2010.   What was your Christmas like last year?   What was the best thing you did?   What memories do you have?   What have you learned this year about your Savior?   How has your testimony been strengthened through the experiences you’ve had?   What knowledge have you gained as you study the scriptures, and ponder, and pray?

I have been given a great blessing in my life this past year to teach Gospel Principles in Relief Society.   I have taught lessons on Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, the Atonement, the Sacrament, and the Gift of the Holy Ghost among others.   It has truly blessed my life as I have studied the scriptures and words of the prophets in preparation for these lessons.   My testimony of simple truths has been strengthened.   My habits in scripture study have been more consistent.   I have received answers to prayers.   I have felt the promptings of the Spirit and been able to act on those more readily.   I have made progress on shortcomings that I have as I strive to make “weak things become strong.”

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I hope that as my little family celebrates Christmas each year the true meaning of Christmas will ring true for each one of them.   President Uchtdorf at the 1st Presidency Christmas Devotional two weeks ago said the Christmas “season ought to be a time of reflection on the birth of the Savior and his generosity.   If we look for the good this time of year, our hearts will change and open up to the miracle of the season.”

One of the best things about life, is if we don’t like how something is going in our lives, we can change it!   If our Christmas season isn’t feeling the way we want it to, change it, do something different.   We can make it more meaningful, more full of the Spirit of Christ.

I want to close with my testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ.   I know he was chosen and we sustained him as our Savior before the foundation of the Earth.   I know Jesus Christ was born King of kings to Mary in a humble stable.   I know he was perfect and set the example for us to look to and follow.   I know he suffered both physically and spiritually in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary for me and for you.   I know he arose on the third day as a perfected, glorified, and resurrected being having won the victory over death, both physical and spiritual.   I know that Jesus Christ came, “not to destroy, but to fulfill all righteousness.”   He did everything He promised us He would do.   I know as we apply the Atonement to our lives every day through repentance and diligence and as we worthily partake of the sacrament weekly we will be cleansed and strengthened to be able to fulfill our missions as well.