Let's Call Him "Jack"

Jim Ritchie

Last November, when we went to the Washington D.C. South Mission to pick up our daughter, Merilee, from her eighteen-month mission, we were introduced to two of Merilee's favorite people, Brother and Sister James Ritchie. The Ritchies call Heber City, Utah, "home" but they have served so many missions over so many years it seems they have rarely been there. At the time we met them, they were a senior couple serving with Merilee, and they had a profound impact on all those young people who revered them for their depth of knowledge and their willingness to share of themselves with everyone in that mission. In the brief week we were there, we heard more missionaries quoting "Bro Jim" than quotes from their mission president. To say they were loved and admired by the elders and sisters would be an understatement of gross proportions.

We took them to lunch one day after a session at the Washington D.C. Temple and became better acquainted. He became an instant favorite of mine, and since then I have had the blessed privilege to be added to his e-mail list. He routinely blasts out his frequent missives filled with updates on their family life, their ongoing influence for good wherever they go, and he continues to be an inspiring source of what success in family life looks like.

This morning I was treated to another message from "Bro Jim," which I share with everyone who reads this page. It's a cautionary tale. I hope this is not the common lot of returned missionaries, and I pray this is an isolated example. However, in the event there may be someone in your life who fits these characteristics, may you take action to reach out as "Bro Jim" does here. Maybe you're somebody's brother, or maybe a good friend, or perhaps a bishop, or maybe even their former mission president. Whatever you may be to them, take a page from "Bro Jim's" book and meet them at that upcoming intersection where you see them next. Maybe you'll be the reason generations yet unborn might rise up later and call your name "blessed."

* * *

We met last night on a flight out of Phoenix where my last minute ticketing got me stuck in a middle seat but that also meant I had “Jack” trapped against the window where he had to deal with me to breathe, let along go to the “John.” I only had an hour and 9 minutes and in-between they threw us a mini bag of peanuts and a tomato juice (no ice - only 40 calories). “Jack” and I became friends and even exchanged Million Dollar business cards and promised to stay in touch as we departed. I plan to do so and in fact came home and wrote him a "thanks for the good discussion" e-mail as the 10:00 news came on. I hope he writes back.

Let me share why the “Jack” visit has monopolized my small brain since our hour visit. “Jack" is 30ish. Totally inactive. Not living several of the commandments. Going through a temple marriage divorce. Two small children. Seminary graduate. Very successful RM to Argentina. Leader in the mission. Associate Degree from LDSBC. Good job. Raised in an active LDS home. Father was the Bishop for 6 of those years. Since “Jack” has left the Church his father and mother have divorced. Father now inactive. Brothers and sisters (all but one sister) have also left the Church. Mother still active, and a very diligent Grandma still focused on "saving his soul." But, what was once a beautiful LDS success story of a family fully engaged and heading for the Celestial Kingdom together has gradually fallen on to hard times and only three of the clan still holding on to the iron rod and the three of them are single people trying to rebuild from broken marriages and trying to throw each other ropes of hope. Scary story, but so typical of what is happening in so many Return Missionaries, YSA and Young Married lives.

Once I had the full story and had him talking - which he said he has been reluctant to discuss with anyone for several years - we began to probe deeper as to “Why?” . . . or “How did the slide into inactivity begin?” It took some time to dig a little deeper but finally words like, "High Expectations" . . .”Unrealized Dreams". . . "Stopped doing some simple but important things. . .”  “I had been a very good ‘producer’ on the mission. . . lots of success, highly respected, a leader. And when I got home, I had to adjust to different expectations and opportunities and began slipping with many of the easy and simple things." Sleeping in. . . slowed down and then stopped his scripture study, prayers disappeared. . . few demands on him at Church and fewer opportunities. . . slang words gravitated to worse speech, pure word of wisdom  habits gave way to simple experimentation and then a little more, etc., etc., and before too long it was easier and felt more comfortable with friends and activities outside the Church rather than those inside. Hs family began wavering in their marriage and then their activity, and this of course made it easier to drift with the forces of least resistance.

Now we have an entire Clan in disarray and wandering in the wilderness.

Why does this experience bother me so much? Why did it disturb  my beauty sleep? Why am I sharing such a private conversation with the world? I don’t know for sure, but maybe it is to continue warning each of us how easily it can all slip away. “Jack” kept emphasizing  how it was the simple things at first. . . sleeping in. . . how could that be so serious? But, gradually the "simple things" grew to bigger things. Take the "sleeping in" theory. Why did the Lord go to such an extreme experience of developing the habit of early rising for 540 (girls learn faster) or 730 days for us boys without a single day off? Why did we read, ponder, memorize, discuss and share the scriptures every day for 730 days? Why did we PLAN our day in such detail every day for 730 days? Why did we dress for success and put on our Nephi smile and attitude for the same 540 or 730 days? Surely the expectation was that those Habits of Success would become permanent parts of our personality and performance, knowing that if those HABITS OF SUCCESS became US,  they would propel us to be just as successful in the telestial test we call "the world" as we were in the “mission laboratory world" where we were in rehearsal for the Big Show.

“Jack” slipped on one or two, his family didn’t catch it or help him, they too were slipping, his Priesthood leaders didn’t catch it or provide the Mentorship he needed at those crucial times of slippage and now we are ten years into slippage and his life, marriage and future are in danger of failing in the very thing he came to earth to discover and try to perfect, becoming "like unto Moroni" and something that resembles "like unto the Savior." His two little girls could become the next pair of casualties and if them, perhaps their children and grandchildren and soon you have some serious numbers of people who are in danger of their eternal salvation. And maybe it all began with sleeping in after his mission, and a few "dangs and hecks."

Hope "Jack" and I are just getting started with our friendship and maybe we can begin getting up early and re-discovering Moses and Nephi, who both would have been good airplane partners to sit by and learn from. Hope I was a close substitute and maybe helped re-light the spark that this famous Argentine missionary once used to change lives and plant eternal hopes in people's hearts.

Love ya "Jack,”

A friend,

Bro Jim

God Succors His Children

January is traditionally the ward conference season in the Church. Mormons do meetings well. We slice and dice our meetings in lots of different ways -- by the general church membership, auxiliary conferences, priesthood meetings, regions, stakes, wards and branches. Meetings and conferences are us.

President Spencer W. Kimball

A few weeks ago we were attending a ward conference where a deeply devoted stake president was speaking. He told a story I want to share here because it demonstrated so beautifully the principle President Spencer W. Kimball taught many years ago:

“God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. The people of the Church need each other’s strength, support, and leadership in a community of believers as an enclave of disciples. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to ‘… succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.’ (D&C 81:5). So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds!” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, 82).

This stake president is like so many priesthood and auxiliary leaders in the Church. He's an ordinary man, humble and possessed with a testimony of his Savior Jesus Christ that is clearly anchored in his heart and soul. They, like each of us, are undershepherds of the true Shepherd. Leaders in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are lay leaders drawn from their various congregations to serve for an undetermined period of years. They serve without compensation, meaning they are not paid in dollars, but I can attest they receive much more than they give because they serve their flocks with love and concern.

He told of going to a small town in northern Utah on a weekend road trip with his wife. While she was looking through antiques in a small shop, he was drawn to a used book store next door. He immediately had my attention. Nobody loves the bowels of Zion Book Store more than I. It's where I found my copy of Foxe's Book of Martyrs in that dingy basement catacomb -- original hard cover, perfect condition and I consider it a treasure of inestimable value. I love old book stores, just like this good man does.

As he wandered the aisles, he was drawn to a box that obviously contained a "quad" edition of the scriptures containing all the standard works we publish to the world as the collected canon of God's word -- the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. In one bound volume, he expected to find what he was looking for, since the box was clearly labeled and showed little sign of use. It was marked for sale for $5.

When he opened the box, however, he was surprised to discover an original patriarchal blessing with the signature of the patriarch who had lovingly prepared it for the recipient, a common practice in the Church. At the top was the name of a young woman, and all her personal information, including birthdate, an address and the names of her parents. He felt like someone who had just stumbled onto the scene of an accident, wanting to run away, but drawn mystically to what he held in his hands.

His dilemma was resolved when he heard a still small voice whisper softly to his heart, "Read it." It was two pages. As a stake president, he explained to his audience, he is at liberty to go to Church headquarters where copies of the patriarchal blessings of his stake members are deposited if he chooses to. He explained he had never done that, feeling he did not want to intrude on those sacred promises, considering them to be private and personal. He resisted the prompting to read it, then finally felt an urge to learn more and insert himself into the life that had been presented to him an a very innocuous happenstance not of his own making. The voice gently whispered, "She needs you."

As he read the two page blessing, he was drawn into the magnificent promises the patriarch had made to this daughter of our Heavenly Father. He knew the parents whose names appeared at the top of the blessing would be imagining the worst and probably needed comfort. It was obvious the scriptures had been a gift because there was an inscription in the front pages with loving counsel from her parents.

So a thousand thoughts then flooded his mind. Is she alive? Is she missing? Did she come to harm? Had she left the Church and renounced her faith? Were these spiritual treasures simply lost, misplaced or left behind and somehow mysteriously placed on the shelf where he found them? What was the answer? He wondered.

After standing and letting the Spirit soak over him in his quiet reflection, he decided to buy the book and the contents of the box - $5 for a set of scriptures and a patriarchal blessing was a small price to pay to return it if he could to this precious daughter of God. He felt like a messenger on a mission now.

He returned home the next day, but not before locating the parents in a town not far away from the bookstore. When he dialed a number he traced to the name and address on the patriarchal blessing, a female voice answered. "I'm calling for Susan (not her real name)," he sheepishly offered.

The woman responded, "She hasn't lived here for many years, may I ask who's calling?"

"I'm President Smith (not his real name)," he replied. "I am holding in my hand the quad set of the scriptures you must have given her, along with her patriarchal blessing, and I wanted to get it back to her if you can tell me how to contact her."

There was a long pause, then, "So, she gave that away too. . ." and her voice trailed off in tears.

He drove to their home later that night and visited with her parents. Susan had left home to go to school, and had cut off all contact with her parents. They didn't know where she was or what might have happened to her. Her spiritual heritage, represented by the book and the patriarchal blessing, had been rejected.

As Susan's mother lovingly stroked the leather binding with her daughter's name inscribed on the cover, then re-read Susan's blessing, her eyes filled with tears again. Here was the evidence suggesting what this dear mother had always hoped could not have happened. This grieving mother had not heard from her daughter for a number of years.

She thanked President Smith for his loving care of these priceless treasures. She told him she was still filled with hope that Susan would someday come home again to claim her spiritual inheritance.

President Smith testified to us that he was humbled to be the instrument in this experience. Like him, as the Spirit whispers to each of us, we may be also be called upon to help another in need. We are His hands here on earth to succor His children.

The Shepherd knows His sheep, and we are the undershepherds.