Thinking of My Mom Patsy, by Steve Goates

Steve on top of Dixie with Patsy

I’ve been thinking a lot about my Mom the past few weeks - it’s been just over two years since she passed on from this mortal life into the eternities - the next chapter.

She lived her life in such a way that she showed EVERYONE around her what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. She gave her life to God and gave her time and energy to her family, her friends, her neighbors, and even to strangers - she was the epitome of LOVE and CHARITY. She’s one of my heroes. She was not perfect, but she was literally the best example in my life of what it is to be Christ-like.

At her funeral, I was asked to speak, and one of the themes that emerged from that experience was that she spent her life teaching us that she, of herself, was nothing special (though she actually was VERY special). She was so consistent to ALWAYS point us to Christ - she gave Him all the credit for any good that she ever did in her life. Christ was her ROCK. Christ was her HOPE. Christ was her STRENGTH. Christ was her EVERYTHING. She taught us that we were to look to Christ for the strength and support we needed, to gain our own testimonies… and she was there, selflessly and faithfully as our mother, to guide us to HIM.

In John 17:3, we learn: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.”

I’m so grateful that she taught me that. I’m so grateful to know God and His Son Jesus Christ. I’m a weak, fallen man, and I need Jesus so much - I feel guilt and shame for my constant shortcomings - I truly know that I, like all of us, “… have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23).

Christ - "I need thee every hour"… Take my brokenness and make me whole, I pray. I have faith that He will. I have faith that He’s already paid the price to rescue my soul from hell. I love Jesus - HE IS EVERYTHING.

May we all try to be a little better, a little more kind, more giving of our time and our talents to lift up and bless those around us in this dark and fallen world - Like Christ did - Like my Mom did. ❤️❤️❤️

* * *

This was a priceless piece of writing I have chosen to include as a chapter in my memoirs with Steve’s permission. I believe it captures the essence of her impact on one of her sons. I’m certain there will be others who would second Steve’s observations, and I encourage all of you to contribute something about her if you would like to. I have the power to make you a “published author” if you do.

It’s wonderful to ponder our shared memories, especially in light of recent events on the world stage. As the fall season begins, I am filled with so many similar thoughts, alone as I am in my home these days.

I was in the Jordan River Temple today, and reflected on all my blessings as I frequently do in sacred precincts. I was performing a vicarious ordinance. He had been waiting years for his endowment to be done, and I got to perform that sacred ordinance on his behalf. Chief among those blessings are Patsy and all of our shared posterity. I can’t imagine anyone out there as favored and loved by our Heavenly Father as I am.

I visited an aging ward member this week, and asked him, “So how are you doing?” His response: “I’m all the way up to miserable.” He’s depressed, has lost his short-term memory, and has difficulty gathering his thoughts. His wife passed away about four years ago, and he lives alone. (He couldn’t remember his birthdate or how old he is when I asked). So I focused instead on our shared memories of the past Church assignments we shared, and he perked up as I reminded him about how many lives he had blessed through his service. I left hoping I had cheered him up a little beyond his self-described “miserable” status.

My thoughts are drawn out continually wondering what Patsy might be doing in her place in the spirit world today. As I minister to others, I feel her presence ministering to me, guiding and inspiring me. I felt her presence every moment as I was fasting and praying over the safe arrival of Benjamin Joshua Mann last week. What a consummate blessing this choice son is in answer to our united petitions!

Straight from Heaven

I love you all, and pray the Lord’s choicest blessings might be yours in all you are doing every day.

What Can I Do to Help Others Who Decide to Leave the Church?

Today's post is prompted by a recent conversation with my children and grandchildren who are reporting what to them seems like an epidemic of their peers who are leaving the Church. I assured them this is not something new in the history of the Church. I have not lived through all the history of the Church personally, but I do have 76 years of it under my belt and I've seen a lot of it "up close and personal."

Jesus Christ
by Liz Lemon Swindle

When I was a young elders quorum president, I discovered there were a few of my elders who were in various stages of leaving the Church for just as many various reasons. Some were on their way out the door because they felt the Word of Wisdom was too restrictive. Others didn’t like the way Elder Ezra Taft Benson mixed his religion with politics. Still others took exception to various policy positions the Church had taken. 

Back in those days it was the equal rights for women amendment to the U.S. Constitution that was the hot button issue. One man brought to his monthly PPI with me a box loaded with anti-Mormon literature, declaring that until I had read it all he wouldn’t take me seriously. I informed him I had already seen every document he supplied to me, and asked him what else he wanted to discuss. My response left him speechless. 

Another young man (all of these were returned missionaries) had committed adultery with a married woman in our ward and had been excommunicated. 

I also remember a young man who had “come out” as gay, and didn’t feel the Church was the least bit sympathetic to his situation. Others quietly kept up a drum beat against the Church’s policy to restrict Blacks from having the priesthood.

That’s a sampling of the cases I remember. 

Since those early years, there have been many more to whom I have been exposed and was asked by local leaders to help. These include eventual apostates who declared they simply "knew more" than the Brethren. They could not be taught. Adultery continues to be a stumbling block for many, as it has been since the beginning of time. 

Some became wealthy and objected to tithing robbing them of their worldly success. I've even known some who told me they were just "too lazy" to be active in the Church - it was just "too much work" for them. 

Stop me if you've heard this one: "The Church is just too wealthy - look at all that money they're spending on temples around the world, and all the humanitarian donations they are making everywhere." It seems the enemies of the Church will never stop their diatribes. It is more common now to see legal court cases challenging the use of tithing money in open opposition to the Church's senior leadership. 

Most recently it seems there has been a wave of criticism for the "aged" leaders who are out of touch with the younger generation in the Church. Look on the faces of these men, and tell me you cannot love them.

The First Presidency

There is a common denominator I have witnessed over the years. To me, none of these complainants seemed very humble, nor were they teachable. Each had seemingly reached the point of no return, anchored in their belief that they knew better than anyone else, and that those who remained in the Church were merely deceived lemmings who were simpletons only going along to get along. They all expressed anger and judgment about their own experiences. 

Scott Strong, my dearest friend of a lifetime, introduced me to two of his friends who had served with him on a writing committee for the Young Men curriculum many years ago. The more famous of the two was Paul Toscano. Both were eventually excommunicated as apostates, and in the case of the lesser known of the two he became a polygamist and moved to Oklahoma with his wives and children.

In interviewing and listening to their views in frequent “study sessions” with them, it became obvious by their statements that they felt the Church was being led by the “B” Team of General Authorities, and that they belonged on the “A” Team. That’s why they were stating they were happy to leave the Church. 

They spoke of secret prayer circles, and other secret activities they were keeping hidden. They were receiving visions and visitations from angels who were instructing them to do certain things that were abhorrent and in open rebellion against the Brethren. It was all based on knowledge they possessed that no one else in the Church was privy to. Nothing they taught Scott and me was a surprise. It was predictable, and tragically, it was leading to the place where each ended up. 

Someone said it best: “There are a thousand reasons to leave the Church, but you only need to find one to remain true and faithful.” 

Things have changed in Church administration over the years. Excommunication was often the outcome of what was called a “Church court,” then disfellowshipping became the solution of choice under “Church councils.” Now many of those decisions are left to bishops under “membership councils.”

So what can we do when someone we know and love decides to leave the Church for whatever reason they choose? Here are some ideas:

1. Continue to minister unto them in love. 

The Savior taught:

And behold, ye shall meet together oft; and ye shall not forbid any man from coming unto you when ye shall meet together, but suffer them that they may come unto you and forbid them not;

But ye shall pray for them, and shall not cast them out; and if it so be that they come unto you oft ye shall pray for them unto the Father, in my name.

Therefore, hold up your light that it may shine unto the world. Behold I am the light which ye shall hold up — that which ye have seen me do. Behold ye see that I have prayed unto the Father, and ye all have witnessed.

And ye see that I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world; and whosoever breaketh this commandment suffereth himself to be led into temptation…

Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them. (3 Nephi 18:21-25; 32, emphasis mine).

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Their reasoning may seem tricky to us - they think we are deceived for staying in the Church, while we believe they are deceived for leaving it. We never know what life situation may befall someone to “wake them up” to taking the things of the spirit more seriously. As we continue to minister in faith each day of our lives, we often come to a point when they return and cite our ministrations as one of the reasons they came back. Or maybe they will never return. 

George P. Lee

2. Don’t be too surprised to see what happens to people who lose the spirit of the Holy Ghost in their lives. 

The most stark contrast I ever witnessed was Elder George P. Lee. He was excommunicated, and later arrested on a drunk driving charge. To the right you will see his "mug shot" after his arrest. He was a General Authority Seventy at one time in his life until his inglorious fall from his lofty position. His picture has always served as a terrible reminder to me about what happens when we lose the spirit in our lives.

Another of those elders in our young married lives was D. Michael Quinn, a famed Church historian, who would go on to publish a string of scurrilous and critical works against the leadership of the Church. I remember him being so agitated with me that President Harold B. Lee wasn’t actively praying for the Blacks to be given the priesthood. He, of course, had no idea what President Lee was or was not praying about, but he believed I should be exerting my influence upon him as his oldest grandson to bring about that change in Church policy. 

Quinn had married a good friend of ours, Janice Darley, and they had a wonderful family. He was excommunicated eventually for apostasy and ended up in San Francisco as an avowed homosexual. He died recently (2021), never having made steps back to the Church. His was a life among the “A” List bench of talented men who could not humble themselves enough to submit to the humble prophets God had raised up in these last days.

3. Pray for them constantly. 

Keep them in your prayers, and mention them by name to your Heavenly Father. Even if they choose to reject you and your ministrations, prayer is one of the most powerful conduits you can use to open up the heavens on their behalf. 

Addictions of all kinds keep people out of the Church. Take away addictions and mental illness and we will see many pure souls who long to be with the saints again. See those souls as the powerful spirits who they are. Keep in mind that while their lives here in mortality might appear to be a big messy glob of nastiness, they may always be remembered for the pure innocent children they once were before the temptations of the flesh overtook them. Always look for that spark of divinity within each one when you are saddened by their choices. Prayer will reveal more ways to you about how to help them. 

Always remember God loves all his children, and He wants them all to come back home. He will be more than willing to help you help them through the inspiration He will send to you through the Holy Ghost as you listen carefully for those promptings.

The Caravan Moves On. . .

President Russell M. Nelson

I have been asked when I would post my comments about the historic events of last weekend, the 188th Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Let me state up front that I have participated in many, many of these conferences over my lifetime of 70 years, but few stand out in memory as this one does now and will for years to come.

With a few days to ponder and attempt to absorb what just happened to us, one thought stands above all the rest - the ongoing development of Zion is in full flower.

Elders Soares and Gong

It was, of course, the first opportunity in a Solemn Assembly that members of the Church have had to sustain President Russell M. Nelson, his counselors and the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers and revelators. Two historic additions to the Quorum of the Twelve, one Chinese-American and one Latin-American, Elders Gerrit Gong and Ulisses Soares have put a stamp forever on the worldwide diversity of the Church population. It seemed that diversity was on full display this year, as reference was made to it throughout the weekend. The selection of speakers highlighted and underscored that reality.

I commented to our family during the break between sessions that it did not appear President Nelson would be a "caretaker" president. Little did I know he was just getting warmed up!

The whole weekend was carefully orchestrated to full effect. It seemed each time President Nelson was at the podium another blockbuster announcement was dropped. To say the effect of each announcement was jaw-dropping would be an understatement.

First, we learned about the new Apostles, then later the addition of seven new General Authority Seventies, many new Area Authority Seventies, and a new Young Women's General Presidency. Those announcements were followed that evening in General Priesthood Meeting with the announcement of "adjustments" in the way the Melchizedek Priesthood Quorums within the stakes and the wards will operate in the future. Explanations were given by Apostles Rasband and Christofferson in that meeting, and the choreography to immediately disable the LDS Tools accounts of the presently-called leaders was stunning. That was followed by detailed instructions after the announcements that were distributed to everyone in the Church for whom the leadership of the Church had an e-mail account. I found the e-mail in my inbox immediately after the conclusion of the session.

More in line now with the revelations in the Doctrine and Covenants, the high priest quorums in each stake will include only those high priests in the stake presidency, the high council, the bishoprics and the active patriarchs within each stake. All the rest of the high priests and elders in each ward will meet as one quorum called the elders quorum under the direction of a new elders quorum presidency.

I learned by first-hand experience how quickly these changes were being implemented, when I answered a call from the high counselor assigned to our ward, asking if he could come visit on Saturday morning. He informed me I was being called to be the second counselor in the new elders quorum presidency. The new elders quorum president would be Steve Edmunds (a high priest within five days of my age) and the first counselor would be Ryan Brown (the current elders quorum president). We were sustained and set apart for our new callings yesterday. We will sit down with our bishop on Wednesday night to receive his counsel on how best to proceed. Because Elder Rasband lives in our ward, the stake president told us they wanted to get Woodland taken care of first. So on the caravan rolls in our little Woodland Ward.

Yesterday, before the meeting as I thanked our high priest group leader for his service, his comment was classic. "I think it's the first time I have ever been released without a vote of thanks," he said with a smile. That happened during our quorum meeting.

And the adjustments in priesthood functionality didn't end it. On Sunday morning we learned that home teaching and visiting teaching would be "retired," to be replaced simply with "ministering." And somewhere in the spirit world President Thomas S. Monson is smiling. Again, detailed instructions followed from Church leaders in subsequent talks, illustrating simplicity and less reporting requirements. Those of us who live along the Wasatch Front (and Back) probably have little appreciation for the impact these adjustments will make in the worldwide applications for which they are no doubt designed. What a testament to the ongoing hastening of the the work. It seems that no matter how big the Church grows the flexibility and the nuances of organizational adaptation can be accommodated.

The final announcement came at the very end of the last session, when President Nelson announced the proposed construction of seven new temples around the world, including Russia and India. The audible response of approval from the audience within the Conference Center was elicited with the inclusion of Layton, Utah, and Richmond, Virginia.

To conclude, my mind went back yesterday to a letter from my father, presiding at the time in the California Arcadia Mission in 1978. He had attended the three-hour block of meetings in an East Los Angeles ward earlier that day, and included this comment in his letter: "I can't imagine that I was served the sacrament by a black deacon in a 9:00 a.m. sacrament meeting seated as I was in my two-piece garments. But it actually happened that way!!" He could have added with a new set of scriptures in his hands, but he never migrated to the new set.

A few years later, one of his former assistants, David W. Checketts, was serving as his home ward bishop, who recommended this seventy-something former mission president as the ward elders quorum president with the approval of the stake president. So, rest assured these are not such earth-shattering "adjustments" without precedent as one might suppose.

And we will see more of it as the work of establishing Zion accelerates. . .