The Story You Tell Yourself

The past week has brought a flood of memories. Surrounded by family, all of whom were in town for youngest daughter Merilee's wedding, it was time for a backward glance and some reflections you might find useful. 

I thought about all the times in my life when I felt "stuck" with no sense there was any way out of my circumstances. As I reflected on those times, I penned these thoughts.

Remember this - nearly everything in life is based around the story you tell yourself about your past. I've felt "stuck" many times in my life, like I didn't have the control over my circumstances I thought I did. The roadblock occurs when you get stuck in that story, rather than letting it evolve. 

Victims get stuck. Survivors triumph and tell themselves a different story. 

You can't access the answers you seek as long as you have a story that says it's impossible. So I've learned to come up with stories I tell myself that say, "Yes, you can, David. You can do whatever you want to do." 

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, when we go on missions to the far-flung countries of the world today, we've all seen lots of people put their pasts behind them and move ahead by making a huge commitment to join the Church. To do this they had to repent, embrace the Savior's atonement and create a new life for themselves. It's not easy to change, but people do it every day. 

As a business development guy and sales trainer, I have come to define success in my job as helping others make incremental improvements in their jobs. Sometimes the progress seems as rapid as watching my toenails grow, but when we look back to measure the results it's often satisfying and stunning. We've moved the needle toward improvement because people become convinced that change can be a good thing!

It's possible to change for the better, but only you can do it for yourself. You take the best elements of the story you are telling yourself about your past life, and you sift out the worst things you want to eliminate. Then you build the life you envision for yourself and your family. 

After 66 years of living, I can tell you the mid-course corrections I've made along the way turned out to be fabulous! There has always been a way to escape from the negative pieces of the story I was telling myself about all the bad things that happened along the way. 

I was thinking the other night with all our family surrounding me, 45 years ago not one single person in that large family group picture was in my life except Patsy. 

We began our lives together without much going for us. We used a little cash from our wedding day to buy our first car. I still had my college degree ahead of me and I was working two part-time jobs and going to school full-time. But we made a humble beginning and we kept on trudging ahead with an eye on what we hoped our future would look like. 45 years later I can't imagine being happier than I am. And there was a lot of sunshine to overcome all the cloudy days.

We met a lot of people at the reception for our daughter. More than one gave me the impression they might be feeling a little "stuck". 

We all know the power of belief; it can change your biochemistry. I've got many examples where miracles occurred just because people clung to a dogged determination to make a better future for themselves. Faith is what makes a dream into a reality. It's the substance of things that are hoped for, but not seen. 

It might be true you went through hell as a teenager. Maybe your parents divorced, maybe you were abused as a child, maybe your father was an alcoholic, maybe your mother abandoned your family when you were young, maybe unemployment put your family out on the streets in a homeless condition. Often we bring adversity upon ourselves, but sometimes it is the result of the actions of others over whom we have no control. We keep replaying the list of horribles in our lives, and it gets us nowhere. 

Which is the very definition of "stuck".

But that's not why you're not having what you want today. No matter how horrific your past may have been, that's not what today is. You stand on the brink of the whole rest of your life (and, oh by the way, it's going to be a great life!) It's hope that makes it so.

We went in to get our passports renewed the other day. Compared to our youthful pictures that stared back at us from the old passports, the lady behind the desk commented, "Well, you've changed a little since then!" And she had no idea how true that statement was. Gone was the dark hair, the svelte figure, the fire of youth. In its place was a story I told myself that turned out very differently than the old one. . .  and better.

Let's suppose you were one of those fantastic Mormon missionaries. You taught others what to do to get "unstuck". And now you must turn all the lessons inward upon yourself and do something different that embraces your "good" past (your mission) and rejects your "bad" past (your pre-mission days). 

You probably think all the avenues you hoped were open to you after your mission now all appear to be closed. That's the reason you're giving to yourself today and you may be tempted to think it's okay. 

But it's not okay to feel stuck because of what your circumstances seem to dictate to you right now. Be heartened by this reminder from Amos Bronson Alcott: "We climb to heaven most often on the ruins of our cherished plans, finding our failures were successes."

A lot of people might be deathly afraid of what it's going to take to move beyond the disappointments to do something different today. 

You just need to take a first step in a new direction of your choosing. You are free, and you are powerful! 

You can't always see beyond the edge of the light today, but just like a powerful train headlight, you can go to the edge of the light you can see, then beyond the edge of the light your future is illuminated. But you have to go as far as you can to the edge of the darkness.

Tell yourselves that story instead.

Change Doctrine

I awoke this morning with my first conscious thought - embracing change in our lives is what brings improvement.



Let me illustrate. In my daily work I am tasked with introducing Packsize to businesses all across the country who have expressed not only an interest in our value proposition, but are committed to change. We deploy On Demand Packaging, an end-to-end supply chain improvement for corrugated paper. Our founder and CEO, Hanko Kiessner, is fond of asking the rhetorical question, "We can put a man on the moon, but we can't make the right-sized box?" His life's work is devoted to answering that question.

Businesses we target exist and continue to thrive in this country despite all the negativity and regulatory hurdles that swirl around them from the political class, because they are constantly evolving to a higher level of efficiency. They manage budgets. They seek profits. They employ people. They reject wasteful practices. They look for ways to innovate. They are rarely content with the status quo. They embrace disruptive technology like ours.

I train my team to look for the decision makers in organizations who are committed to these principles. Rarely do we have success by engaging low-level managers. When I talk to a purchasing manager who tells me, "We already have established relationships with corrugate suppliers," I know I am speaking to the wrong person. Those people exist for one reason only - to make the status quo work. They defend what they are doing. Change for some managers threatens their existence. No, I tell my team, those aren't the people we are interested in engaging for our conversation about change. We want strategic thinkers who are risk-takers; senior-level executives who are willing to extend themselves into the future lives of their companies. We want the people who are judged by their organizations on their willingness and courage to embrace change. We want the executives that understand change is painful but necessary for their future survival as a company.

Just yesterday, we engaged the strategic thinkers at Panasonic, US Auto Parts, Knoll Furniture, Bosch Rexroth, and Berry Plastics. These are each innovative and dynamic companies with an eye on the future. Our competitors might read this and look with envy on how we managed to engage these stellar companies. Am I worried? No. They cannot begin to compete with what we do and how we do it. We are agents of change, and initially we often impose painful realities on our clients. We get a commitment that they are open to exploring change. But invariably they thank us later. Our video testimonials are testament to that fact.

Our area managers, deployed now around the world, are not traditional salespeople. Instead, they are team captains who are adept at engaging the client with our engineers to develop customized solutions with an eye to improvement. The business case must be made to the satisfaction of each side. We invest a lot of up front consulting to discover the needs of our clients. We are confident in our ability to deliver that change with an accompanying significant cost reduction. We obliterate the status quo. And we are very profitable.

This pulsating Democrat political meme that corporations are somehow to be denigrated and criticized for making profits is wrong-headed and misguided. Profits in the hands of wise entrepreneurs are routinely re-invested and often plowed right back into the operations of their companies so they can continue to grow, thrive and prosper. THAT's where jobs come from. Anyone whose address is Washington D.C. cannot assert they create jobs. I've worked in the private sector my whole life. I can tell you who the job creators are. They are the innovators and the decision makers, the risk-takers, who routinely figure out ways to employ people and meet their payrolls and pay taxes.

They are people like Mitt Romney. They are NOT people like Barack Obama. We all know what makes America tick. In 2008, anxious for change, we made a mistake, but it was only an aberration and we can adjust and correct it this year.



Governments are NOT the solution to ANYTHING. They exist to serve us as the people, and for no other reason. We have allowed our federal government to consume and waste far too many of our resources. We  must now assert CHANGE on the political class on November 6th. We must take remedial action to improve as a country. It will be painful to some (those who don't embrace this year's change agent, Mitt Romney), but it must be done if we are to have any hope of changing the trajectory of America's future.

On a personal level in a gospel paradigm, think about what change means to you. It often comes under the label "repentance." I am not impressed with people who steadfastly reject repentance because they think it is just too painful. They defer, they procrastinate, and they resist change. They "manage" the status quo. I will never forget one young man I interviewed, when he said to me, "Bishop, I just don't want to repent fully because I love my sins too much." It startled me when he said it, but as I reflected later on his words, even after all these years, I realized he was speaking a marvelous truth. Change is often painful. Repentance is often hard at first. Stepping over the hurdles that would impair our desire to change, however, often brings improvement and innovation.

Many people tell me they feel "trapped" by their circumstances. Those people embrace a "victim mentality," suggesting that everything that is going on their lives is beyond their control. I remember so many disgruntled employees I worked with years ago at Zions First National Bank (back in the day), who hated everything they did on a daily basis, but refused to quit and find something better. I resolved I would never be one of them. They are in agony, most of them. They lament that things are the way they are, and they seem helpless to change and improve. They cite factors beyond their control as evidence of their inability to effect real and lasting change in their lives. Happiness seems to elude them. They find little joy in their daily existence.

These are fanciful falsehoods. Their author is the enemy to all righteousness.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ we encounter many seeming paradoxes that are worth considering. They may even be called "divine paradoxes." Let me give some examples and see if this is not true in your life.

"Come unto me, all ye that are labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28).

"Take my yoke upon you. . . and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-29).

"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25).

To be brief, let me just say it - the quest for happiness in this life does NOT consist of lifting up our heads and glorying in our own strengths, skills and successes. Rather, happiness in this life consists in finding Him. That usually involves repentance. We will only repent if we believe He can heal us, and that requires faith in the Lord Jesus Christ as our Redeemer. He becomes the true change agent in our lives. We cannot bring about that needed change on our own. It takes someone who can help us manage through the needed changes for improvement. It takes perfection to make one perfect.

We often cite the 32nd chapter of Alma as the definitive explanation for what constitutes "faith." But upon more careful examination you will discover something much deeper. Alma was not making a general statement about faith in his teachings to the people, rather he was suggesting something very specific and singular about faith as the only unseen power that can change one's soul. That's more than saying, "I have faith the sun will rise in the morning skies to the east."

Alma teaches about having enough faith to begin "an experiment" on THE WORD. That experiment is about finding the truth about the divinity of Christ. Only a Divine Redeemer can effect an infinite and eternal change in us. And only Jesus Christ could offer an infinite and eternal sacrifice because He was Himself "infinite and eternal" by His very nature as the sinless Only Begotten Son of the Father.

In the next chapter, Alma, sensing they did not understand his meaning, offers this commentary on his words by citing his listeners back to the words of an ancient prophet, Zenos:

Do ye remember to have read what Zenos, the prophet of old, has said concerning prayer or worship?
For he said: Thou art merciful, O God, for thou hast heard my prayer, even when I was in the wilderness; yea, thou wast merciful when I prayed concerning those who were mine enemies, and thou didst turn them to me.
Yea, O God, and thou wast merciful unto me when I did cry unto thee in my field; when I did cry unto thee in my prayer, and thou didst hear me.
And again, O God, when I did turn to my house thou didst hear me in my prayer.
And when I did turn unto my closet, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me.
Yea, thou art merciful unto thy children when they cry unto thee, to be heard of thee and not of men, and thou wilt hear them.
Yea, O God, thou hast been merciful unto me, and heard my cries in the midst of thy congregations.
Yea, and thou hast also heard me when I have been cast out and have been despised by mine enemies; yea, thou didst hear my cries, and wast angry with mine enemies, and thou didst visit them in thine anger with speedy destruction.
And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, because of thy Son. (Alma 33:3-11).

And thus we find once again the power of The Book of Mormon. It is a book replete with references to people and their deliverance from sins and afflictions of all sorts based upon the merciful intervention of God in their lives. We always may find solace and comfort in THE WORD. When we exercise even a particle of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repent of our sins, and embrace His perfection, we are healed and we are on the way to perfection ourselves as we change from our fallen state. We see His mercy at work in our lives. In our anguish He succors us. He assures us change is possible and desirable so we may have the long-term improvements we seek. And it is more than disruptive new technology. . .

. . . It is the stuff of which eternal life is made.

Why Paul Ryan is the Right Pick for VP

Last week, Greta Van Susteren did a nice piece for Fox News about 42 year-old House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan. She provided background on the Janesville, Wisconsin, native who has now been tapped by Mitt Romney as his running mate on the GOP ticket. They will probably run it again. Take a look at it if you get a chance.

Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan

I like Mitt Romney’s selection of Paul Ryan, because I think it sends the strongest possible signal to the country that Romney's presidency is going to be inclined to tackle some big issues with big bold ideas. Call me naive, but Paul Ryan seems to be one of a handful in Washington today willing to put forward a plan and be bold enough to attach his name to it. Romney's choice of Ryan wasn't particularly political, nor was it conventional. But it does remind me of something Thomas Paine said: "Character is much easier kept than recovered.”

 It was the right choice. The mantle of leadership has already shifted from the current administration by default. Both men are men of character. The vacuum has been filled. Here's why:

I believe leadership on the tough issues in this current administration has been absent. Faced with the biggest deficits in history and the most amount of debt accumulated under one POTUS, what did we get? Silence on that, but assurance that healthcare reform costing the country trillions was paramount. Taxation as the funding mechanism for Obamacare was first denied by the Obama administration, then affirmed and upheld by the SCOTUS.

Paul Ryan advocates taking on the entitlement programs, the "automatic payments" in the budget that are killing our productivity. They are bold solutions, but much-needed answers.

Paul Ryan, doesn't do the political calculations on fallout. He's ready to have an adult conversation with America's younger workers under age 55. He's willing to say we won't change the plans your elders grew up expecting in their retirement years, but we need to talk - it simply isn't going to be that way for you. Leaders in neither party want that conversation, but Ryan does.

A conventional "kick the can down the road" approach is no longer possible. There are something like 23 million Americans unemployed or underemployed. Check the embedded national debt clock on this blog. We are approaching $16 trillion. Nobody who's serious about the future of America should be interested in the status quo any longer. Socialism has failed to deliver once again.

Balancing the budget is still on Ryan's radar. Spending money we don't have has to be arrested. Where have the Democrats under Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama been on that subject? AWOL. On the golf course, campaigning and begging for another four years to "finish the job."

President Obama, never one for a serious sit down adult conversation except with the likes of Entertainment Tonight and People Magazine, attacks their plans with lies and half-truths. Ask yourself if you've ever heard anything except "we need to tax the wealthy so they pay their fair share." He offers nothing in rebuttal, then blames a do-nothing Congress in stalemate.

It seems the president’s plan for Medicare is bankruptcy. Did you hear the part about Mr. Obama raiding $716 billion from Medicare in order to pay for Obamacare? Then he denies it. But the plan is simple - you take it from Medicare reimbursements to hospitals and private insurance companies.

Contrast that with a President Romney, who would repeal Obamacare on Day One, including the cuts to Medicare.

To oppose Mr. Obama now seems to be linked with racism. However, what this president has done is fail to show leadership on these core issues. It's his policies that have crippled economic growth and led to the worst recovery in 70 years. And THAT has nothing to do with his ethnic origins.

Here's what his policies have produced:

• The unemployment rate has been above 8 percent for 42 consecutive months.
• The average price of gasoline has more than doubled.
• The national debt has increased by more than $5 trillion.
• Median household income has dropped by more than $4,000.
• One in 7 Americans is on food stamps — a record high.

I defy you explain away that economic record on the basis of race. If an old white guy from the GOP were to fail to lead the country by producing similar results, who would blame him for just being an old white guy?

A recent Rasmussen poll disclosed that just 14 percent of Americans — an all-time low — think today’s children will be better off than their parents’ generation. Does anyone in their right mind in the other 86% cast a ballot for Barack Obama in November?

Here's the deal - I am not naive enough to think that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan can lead this country back into the days of fiscal sunshine and clover anytime soon. We are in deep, deep doo-doo. Republicans and Democrats are to blame over a long period of time. The socialist agenda has now fully played out and it isn't working. Everyone used to think America could produce a better life for succeeding generations. That core value is fading fast.

A second term for Mr. Obama, one in which he would no longer have to face the wrath of voters, would mean an attempt by him to double down on higher taxes, more wasteful spending and an even greater dependency on big government. It's our last chance to end this unsustainable path we're on. Does anyone doubt his attacks on job creators and small business owners would escalate rather than abate? This is a president who reminded us all recently, "You didn’t build that.” He believes government is the dispensing machine for all good things American. He does not believe our rights and freedoms come from God.

Here's what I know for sure. Barack Obama cannot lead us out of the economic wilderness we are wandering in currently. He's proven to everyone now that he's undeserving of another bite of that apple.

Here's what we know about Mitt Romney. He's worked most of his life in the private sector. He understands how wealth is created because he's an example of a practitioner in free markets and he's succeeded. He's a turnaround expert, and what are we looking to hire in the White House this November if it isn't a turnaround guy? Turning this mess around is going to be a prodigious task, but clearly Barack Obama is NOT that guy.

In Paul Ryan, Romney now has a bold reform partner with expertise in the federal budget. Who do I like better as the captains of the ship of state to jump-start the economy and restore America’s greatness? Um, wait a minute, let me think a minute. . .

We have to become a nation that is once again financially responsible. I have little confidence that goal can be achieved under President Obama in another four years.

The Romney-Ryan ticket, I believe, has a better understanding that a strong America is dependent upon a financially sound America. I believe the generals of the Joint Chiefs, who say our biggest security threat is our profligate spending and debt. It weakens a strong defense. Put America back on a sound financial footing, and with that result America will be enabled once again to create new jobs and more take home pay for all Americans.

Paul Ryan can prioritize government spending. It's what he does best. Getting the AAA credit rating back for America might at least be possible again. The rating agencies are waiting for a serious sign that American politicians can get their act together. They selected against this POTUS and his failed leadership.

Prioritizing spending is something Democrats are loathe to do when they feel a misplaced moral obligation to the whole society to redistribute wealth and they can't seem to figure out how to say "No" to anyone. You can call the Romney/Ryan approach "trickle-down economics" if you prefer, but no one in the private sector where I've worked my whole life was ever hired by someone who was dependent on the government dole. Instead, they were innovators, entrepreneurs, risk takers and rugged individualists. They BUILD stuff, Mr. President, unlike you.

Only days after Barack Obama was sworn into office in 2009, I seem to remember when he famously boasted that if his policies didn’t turn the economy around in three years, “then there’s going to be a one-term proposition.” Conveniently, he's either forgotten he said it or doesn't believe it.

More than once in recent months, Mitt Romney has boldly asserted, "Well, Mr. President, we're here to collect on that promise." Romney may ultimately not be able to turn it around because of the sheer weight of the problem.

But this much is certain - the Obama/Biden ticket has PROVEN they can't do it. At least with the Romney/Ryan ticket we can reinvest in the one thing that's been lacking the last four years:

HOPE AND CHANGE!

That Hopey Changey Thang

This is classic!