Could It Get Any Worse?

I have really been working at putting myself out of range in this election season, as I mentioned in my last post. Instead, I have been filling my time with far more productive activities, like following the Cubs through the playoffs. How great is that story? After 71 years of futility they are going back to the World Series. I am so happy for them and all their long-suffering die-hard fans. I suspect there are overnight now more Cubs fans than at any time in their history.

And how about those Utes? Now 7-1 overall, and tied for the the lead in the PAC-12 South. Their 52-45 shootout with UCLA yesterday in the Rose Bowl where Joe Williams smashed the single game rushing record with 332 yards was poetry in motion on a football field. They got some love in the coaches poll today, moving up to number 16. Even the Cougars from the school down south have been fun to watch. Their record doesn't reflect how close they've come to being undefeated. Even Utah would be undefeated with a few more inches that fell short on the final drive in their single loss to California.

So, believe me when I say these have been pleasant diversions from the nightly news. Speaking of that, aside from the politics, I have wearied of the nightly crime blotter - murder, adultery, theft, burglary, armed assaults, and all that goes with it. As a product of the Sixties, I have always been a television addict, but those days are now gone as my television time has been self-restricted. I hate commercials. God blessed the man who developed the "Hopper," and I praise that man's name now.

I am continually reminded of the ancient record as found in Mormon 8. Mormon was the father of Moroni, and one of the last survivors of an ancient nation state that once thrived in the Americas. But his civilization was destroyed by wickedness. He writes here in about 400 A.D., with a prophetic vision of the times in which we live today:

 35 Behold, I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me, and I know your doing.

 36 And I know that ye do walk in the pride of your hearts; and there are none save a few only who do not lift themselves up in the pride of their hearts, unto the wearing of very fine apparel, unto envying, and strifes, and malice, and persecutions, and all manner of iniquities; and your churches, yea, even every one, have become polluted because of the pride of your hearts.

 37 For behold, ye do love money, and your substance, and your fine apparel, and the adorning of your churches, more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted.

 38 O ye pollutions, ye hypocrites, ye teachers, who sell yourselves for that which will canker, why have ye polluted the holy church of God? Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies — because of the praise of the world?

 39 Why do ye adorn yourselves with that which hath no life, and yet suffer the hungry, and the needy, and the naked, and the sick and the afflicted to pass by you, and notice them not?

 40 Yea, why do ye build up your secret abominations to get gain, and cause that widows should mourn before the Lord, and also orphans to mourn before the Lord, and also the blood of their fathers and their husbands to cry unto the Lord from the ground, for vengeance upon your heads?

 41 Behold, the sword of vengeance hangeth over you; and the time soon cometh that he avengeth the blood of the saints upon you, for he will not suffer their cries any longer.

I want to be clear - I have always thought of myself as an optimistic person. I really don't want to believe in secret combinations that are set up to get gain, murder the innocents for power, and grind the faces of the poor into the dust. I don't look for the anti-Christ under every bush. I want to believe that people are basically decent, hard-working and honest with one another. I really don't want to let myself go there with conspiracy theories about "rigged" systems of government or business that pollute our inheritance as free people in America.

But, that said, the conditions, the rhetoric, the back and forth of the political dialogue to which we have been exposed this election cycle have been so reprehensible that if I had small children at home I would have no choice but to unplug the television. Even with sports, I record the games, fast-forward through the endless commentary and commercials and reduce my watching to the actual plays. That Utah-UCLA game yesterday took four hours. Watching it the "Hopper" way I do takes a little longer than a half-hour.

Elder David A. Bednar, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Filtering out all the "noise" is exactly what Elder David A. Bednar was speaking about here. The search for truth isn't difficult if we ask ourselves these two important questions posed by Elder Bednar.

Some are simply too young to remember the Clinton era when Bill was the POTUS and his whole presidency seemed to be one sexual intrigue after another. Stains on a blue dress, parsing of tortured definitions of what constituted "sexual relations" in front of a panel of the House of Representatives convened to impeach him for lying to a grand jury, and the lies that were told, then refuted and corrected with hard evidence to the contrary; all were the "highlights" of those years. Impeached in the House, but a conviction lacking in the Senate, Bill Clinton skated, though he was impugned and lost his license to practice law. And now he's back running for "First Gentleman," whatever that may come to mean. He is anything but a "gentleman."

This year the Clinton legacy has all been brought to the forefront once again, accompanied by the allegations of the escapades of one Donald J. Trump, man of the world if ever there was one. It seems our national moral compass has been demagnetized. We are no longer shocked by anything that once would have immediately disqualified these two candidates in Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Our true north is whatever a scheming politician says it is. I noticed the other day that the polling done last week puts Clinton and Trump in exactly the same place they were a year ago when this all started - in other words, nothing has been settled yet. I guess we should be grateful they are both the most loathed candidates ever put forward to run for the presidency.

I think the counsel of this priceless hymn is worth repeating - If the way be full of trials, weary not. . .



And so, in answer to my question, "Could it get any worse?" I answer yes - the Cubs could lose the World Series, and the Utes could lose to Washington next week and get little or no respect in the national rankings.

Saving The Nation

My father, now pushing 94 and still going strong mentally, is only the latest in my circle to be swept up in what has been called the "Trump Summer". He writes to his old missionaries from the California Arcadia Mission at General Conference time. One of his lesser-known qualities is his penchant for satire. When most people think of who L. Brent Goates is, the first thought is he was a conservative, even stodgy, old Church leader not much given to light-mindedness. With this latest installment of his self-styled "Heart Lines", however, he breaks the mold.

October, 2015

“SAVING THE NATION”

There were 22 candidates for President of the United States in a survey, and a pack of 17 were on the Republican ticket. The shocking news however, was that Donald Trump was the front-runner. Yes, that real estate billionaire, reality TV star and the same one called by some the “clown prince of slime” led all the GOP candidates. This forebodes a catastrophe. So, what else could a red-blooded patriot like me do except to throw my hat in the ring?

President Goates (r) with his running mate,
 President Monson (l)

Admittedly, I don’t have an Abraham Lincoln countenance, but I’ve got a grizzled, haggard face that mothers love to love. And just because I’m bent over with spinal deformity doesn’t mean I’m “crooked”. And the votes are pouring in. I can count on two from my sixth-grade traffic patrol, four from my Wasatch Elementary dance club, and maybe 75% may recall I came in last in the vice-president race at Irving Junior High School. There’s just no stopping that kind of snow-balling support.

As presidential candidate and sole member of the STAP (Straight Talkin’ American Party), I’m convinced that my platform charisma will win over the public. And if my personal magnetism isn’t enough, there are always my forthright stands on the big issues. . .

. . . Like POVERTY. I'd say, “This is the richest nation in the world, and we’d be even richer if it weren’t for all the poor people. Still, you just can’t give poor people money. They’d only go out and use it to buy food and clothes and pay the rent.” (Such pithy statements of policy make other candidates fade into stunning irrelevance.)

I started out my campaign by getting an admiral’s commission in the Great Salt Lake Navy, but fell out of a canoe while bringing my candidacy to the local Indian tribe. I’m still aiming for appearances before the National Press Club in Washington, and appearances at auto factories along with the keys to many cities. After viewing my bumper stickers, posters and sweatshirts, they wanted me to don a turban and show up at a pier in Vancouver, B.C., so I could walk on water for the edification of the crowd. I declined on the grounds that might sink the campaign.

But, I will appear in skits. I do well playing a solemn “Smokey the Bear”, where I warn viewers the number one cause of forest fires is trees. I might make as good a presidential candidate as anybody. I know what the average American wants. In fact, I’d like to get a little of it myself.

And so, I’m hitting the hustling campaign trail, clutching my press books and handouts. And the campaign chest is filling up. A recent 89-cent-a-plate testimonial dinner in Hollywood yielded a whopping $351.55. The Sisters of the Poor co-sponsored the bash.

I want to say unequivocally that if the public is swayed by my glamor and elected me, it wouldn’t go to my head. I will always be aware of my humble station in life as a common, ordinary, simple savior of America’s destiny.

California, which produced Ronald Reagan, is always a key battleground state. There was always a lot of talk for Reagan in California, but a lot of talk, too, for Donald Duck, who lost a close race with Reagan.

Some people think my campaign talk is too light-minded, but here is some evidence that I can handle the sensitive, hot issues of the day.

GUN CONTROL: Who knows when you might encounter a moose sauntering down Main Street? In such cases I think guns might be useful, but still dangerous for the public at large.

SUPREME COURT RULINGS: I have no sympathy for the Supreme Court ruling on the rights of accused criminals. Why should we have to tell embezzlers, kidnappers, burglars and murderers their rights? If they don’t know their rights, they’re in the wrong business.

FLUORIDATION OF WATER: It was first put into water supplies and drinking water in Cleveland, Ohio, in 1822. It’s powerful. Not one of those people is still alive today.

SEX EDUCATION: I am four-square against sex education. The teaching of (you know what) in our public schools delivers such a devastating psychological blow to the student who flunks the course.

SOCIAL SECURITY: I’ll tackle Social Security too. They said back in 1932 that it would take care of the whole “old-people problem”. Look, we’ve been paying into it for 83 years and what good has it done? There are more old people now than when we started.

On all of these issues and many others, I am neither left wing nor right wing, but more or less middle of the bird.

To prove my point, I plan to attend the conventions of both major political parties. All I asked was for the privilege of making a two-minute speech at the Democratic convention. But the Arrangement Committee apparently felt with my penchant for light-mindedness I might interfere with their serious caucus which has first priority. They get caucused right there in front of everyone, some of them two and three times a day! My speech, they felt, might detract from the habitual popping of balloons, tooting of paper horns and parading around in penguin suits. This, mind you, from folks who never misbehave at home.

I believe I will get many write-in votes in November, so I’m not letting up. I’ll keep working for an invitation to “Meet the Press”. Who’s to say I’d be worse than some of the numerous clowns running?

This thing started out as a big joke and ends that way too. Sometimes I just get bored with the restrictions of old age, and then I turn to my trusty old IBM Selectric typewriter. I push the fantasy-humor keys and you see what results. But to my prime audience of missionaries, there is a disclaimer. This is the only time you do not have to believe what you read in “Heart Lines”.

Keep that smile,

President L. Brent Goates

The WHOPPER King

In the realm of big WHOPPERS, we may never again see the likes of Barack Hussein Obama. Not only are his lies already garnering "famous" status, at least one observer here, Jonah Goldberg, maintains his lies will achieve INFAMOUS status. If you hadn't guessed, the topic is one dear to my heart - Obamacare. It's stunning now that there is simply nowhere to run and hide from the facts as they are emerging. Of course, that assumes there's anyone left who actually cares about FACTS anymore.



This POTUS may become a lame duck quicker than any two-term president in history.

"Take Hardest Problem First, Best Way To Improve"

Not everything we do in life yields to our first impulse. We charge down a path, thinking we are headed toward a desirable outcome, only to find we have been wrong in our initial impressions. Even more frequently we are tempted to "sit this one out," reluctant to make the attempt to begin until the "time is right," or we feel "inspired" to move forward. Often results are achieved only after a long struggle in patience and faith.

This can be true in many of our pursuits in life. I'm thinking of young people who wait and postpone opportunities for marriage, schooling, employment or other endeavors. Often, newlyweds postpone having children until school is finished, until a home is purchased, or whatever else some feel needs to be in place before moving forward. How many of us have sat at our desk at work day-dreaming or avoiding diving into a difficult task, and manufactured excuses for putting off something we know must be done in exchange for an easier task?

Tchaikovsky (1840-1893)

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky wrote to his benefactress, Nadezhda von Meck, dated March 17th, 1878, and found in the 1905 volume The Life & Letters of Pete Ilich Tchaikovsky (public domain):

"Do not believe those who try to persuade you that composition is only a cold exercise of the intellect. The only music capable of moving and touching us is that which flows from the depths of a composer's soul when he is stirred by inspiration. There is no doubt that even the greatest musical geniuses have sometimes worked without inspiration. This guest does not always respond to the first invitation. We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavouring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination.

"A few days ago I told you I was working every day without any real inspiration. Had I given way to my disinclination, undoubtedly I should have drifted into a long period of idleness. But my patience and faith did not fail me, and to-day I felt that inexplicable glow of inspiration of which I told you; thanks to which I know beforehand that whatever I write to-day will have power to make an impression, and to touch the hearts of those who hear it. I hope you will not think I am indulging in self-laudation, if I tell you that I very seldom suffer from this disinclination to work. I believe the reason for this is that I am naturally patient. I have learnt to master myself, and I am glad I have not followed in the steps of some of my Russian colleagues, who have no self-confidence and are so impatient that at the least difficulty they are ready to throw up the sponge. This is why, in spite of great gifts, they accomplish so little, and that in an amateur way."

Last night, speaking with someone on an unrelated topic, I recounted an experience I had years ago with a Japanese engineer on the golf course. We were at a business retreat on the Monterrey Peninsula at a beautiful destination resort. Many will know that the Japanese people are disproportionately passionate about the game of golf. They join expensive country clubs just to get on the links and avoid long wait times at public courses. Of course, there isn't a lot of real estate in a small country like Japan that can be allocated to expansive patches of greenery like a golf course. The demand for golf in Japan far exceeds the supply.

On this particular day I was partnered with my engineer friend from Japan in what was to be a four-man "best-ball" scramble. It's a popular format for business gatherings because it speeds play and compensates for those who are hackers. There are several variations, but generally all four players tee off and then the ball that lands in the best position is the ball the rest of the foursome plays on the second shot, and so forth.

This day, however, I was surprised when my friend stopped at the worst ball of the four first. One of our foursome was an obvious rookie at golf, and had dribbled a poor tee shot barely fifty feet off the tee. At least it was in the fairway. I said, "No, you don't understand the format, we play the best ball (which happened to be my tee shot about 275 yards up the fairway)," to which he responded, "No, it's you who does not understand. Take hardest problem first, best way to improve game."

I relented, and learned a valuable lesson from my Japanese playing partner. We came in dead last, and it took us a long time to get around the course, consistently playing the worst ball of our weakest playing partner that day. At the end, my friend turned to me and asked, "Did game improve for you today?" I thought about all the tough shots I had been forced to hit in the round, and had to admit, "Yes, we hit some pretty difficult shots today, it was an exceptional practice round." He smiled and said, "Very good, now you thinking like Japanese." He wasn't the least bit interested in who had the low score that day. What he cared about most was eliminating the "muda" from his game.

What my friend taught me that day was what Tchaikovsky had mastered. Move ahead in life even when conditions are not optimal. that's how we progress and learn - by doing the things that are not easy first.

In America we often pursue what looks easiest to us first, just the opposite of the way my engineering friend attacked a problem. We avoid the hard things for as long as we can. Of course, these are generalities and may not apply to every case, but think and ponder for a moment about what is going on in the political realm in America. What is the political class doing? They are blaming each other, refusing to work together for the best interests of America, and by postponing the work on the hard problems of our fiscal crisis, we continue to languish and atrophy as a nation, stuck in the miry clay of our anemic economic recovery. Rather than tackling the hardest problems first, what do we get out of Congress and the White House? The bare minimum of effort, and very little evidence of leadership willing to take on the really tough problems of entitlement reform, debt reduction and deficit elimination. I read the poll results this morning that only 14% (an all-time low) believe their children will be better off than they are today.

On a personal note, I have a brother who suffered a massive stroke about a month ago, following a massive heart attack last year about this time. The physicians and nurses who attended him during that first week said they had never seen a more severe bleed from a stroke than this one (three areas of the brain were affected). In emergency surgery a fourth of his skull was removed to relieve the pressure on the brain. He was intubated with a ventilator, a feeding tube and a tracheotomy to save his life. He lost all functionality on his left side which was paralyzed permanently, according to his doctors. He could not swallow, he had trouble breathing on his own, he could not speak in addition to the paralysis. His lungs were filled with the dreaded hospital-acquired MRSA super virus. For four weeks he languished, hovering between life and death, his pacemaker was turned off and we were all saying our farewells and preparing ourselves for another funeral.

And then (there is no other word), he miraculously responded when all mechanical and medical interventions to save his life were withdrawn.

He has literally been snatched back from the brink. Who knows why? Maybe it's because there's some unfinished "muda" that needs to be attacked and removed first before he can move on. That's pure speculation on my part, but seldom does deferring the muda clean-up in our lives result in long-term happy outcomes. When we leave it until the end when the stakes are much higher, it's often harder to deal with than if we had tackled it in the beginning - when it was the hardest problem back then - and we weren't particularly feeling like taking it on that day.

As a general rule, like my friend the Japanese engineer suggested, it's better to tackle the hard things first.