Wednesday, September 6, 2023

What Was Patsy's Philosophy About Work?

It’s Labor Day 2023, and today’s topic is well-suited to the occasion. Patsy was an old-fashioned woman (I know that’s a shocker, but true). Her “philosophy” on work was simple - she believed in it like she believed the gospel is true, America is the land of the free, and motherhood is desirable above everything else. You could even throw in believing in the Hallmark Channel for good measure. 


Hard work was second nature to her. We have the pictures to prove her work ethic. Perhaps the most iconic was the one of her at my side up on the roof as we were nailing down the tar paper to dry it in when she was seven months pregnant. Who does that? Well, Patsy did that. She is also seen in other pics with a shovel in her hands digging in the ground between the power box across the driveway to the electrical panel mounted on the outside of the house. She was also handy with a paintbrush whenever we stained the outside of the cabin. Physical labor was not the least bit intimidating to her. She helped to plant the now-towering pine trees you can see on the property. She even helped me to nail the siding on the inside walls, and yes, those nails were all driven by a hammer one nail at a time (no nail guns in those days). She even cut the siding lengths with the circular saw as I measured and called out the numbers to her. She helped me pull wire through the walls before we were blessed with Tanner Venema. I was reminded as I was writing this chapter that she even chipped in her labor with all our lumberjack activities in the days when we cut our own firewood from the surrounding forest. She could split and cut alongside the best of us. The boys commented, “The only reason we did that was because you were teaching us how to work.” Right! And not only did she work alongside us, she always provided the delicious food for lunch and dinner. We really were engaged in building “the little house on the prairie” in those days, and we all loved it. We made quite a team as we worked together side by side.

That’s working for nothing in return, like she did in her work as a homemaker that involved cooking, making beds, endless piles of laundry, folding clothes into “piles” that were always contested, vacuuming and scrubbing the floors, cleaning toilets, taking out the trash, and sewing all manner of clothing and quilts for her children, grandchildren and other loved ones. She said she inherited her seamstress skills from Grandma Brazier, and her mother bought her the finest Bernina sewing machine back in the day, but she improved upon that talent through her diligence and hard work.

She worked tirelessly at all those tasks and loved it all because it was toiling for those she loved. She expected nothing in return for her labor. It was all given out of the abundance of her soul. I think it could be summarized by one simple sentence - she had the courage to work at the things she could change, and the patience to wait upon the things she could not change. In it all she coupled her hard work with prayer on behalf of everyone. Now that the burdens of mortality have been lifted, you can be assured she is working beyond the veil to bless us all spiritually with whatever gifts she is able to bestow.

There was a time in our marriage when she did go to work for money.
Diane and Jack Gardiner were expanding the operations of their 7-Eleven in Kamas to include a sandwich shop that opened for the lunchtime crowd. I was toiling away at trying to get Legacy Now launched, but it seemed to drag on and on without resolution. So at the invitation of Diane, Patsy went to work building sandwiches one at a time for the patrons who frequented their shop. Remember, this was long before the days of Subway and Jimmy Johns. They baked their own rolls and provided all manner of fixings for their custom sandwiches, and together they were a big hit in rural Kamas, Utah. Today, the Silver Summit Inn occupies that space in the rebuilt 7-Eleven store, but the pioneers in sandwich making were Diane and Patsy. She didn’t make much money in that enterprise, but she welcomed the challenge and they made a success at it. I would work at my desk at home, then often drive down at lunchtime to partake of their offerings. I loved her for her effort and her willingness to contribute to our family income while we were living off our savings.

It seemed Patsy never tired of working hard. In more recent years she spent increasing time with Grandma Julie as her principal caregiver. She would often drive down to the Wellington in Salt Lake City early in the morning, and it was not unusual for her to call me when she was running late in getting out of there to tell me where the dinner was in the refrigerator and give me instructions on how to heat it up and eat without her. It was another form of work, surely, but it could only be described as hard work, again given out of love for Julie and her father Lester.

St. Paul Minnesota Temple

It could be argued, and it would be hard to dispute, that she died working hard right to the end of her life. We were working hard for our deceased ancestors in the temples within days of her death. We had gone back to be with Andrew and Jessica and their children to celebrate Andrew’s completion of his five-year residency at the Mayo Clinic. We attended temples on the way out to see them, and we went to six more temples in six states in six days on our way home. She never tired of working for the salvation of the dead. In fact, she loved doing that work in the temples. We had so much fun together on that trip that it was unthinkable she was in the homestretch of her mortal journey. And it could be said that this work in the temples was anything BUT work - it was joy unsullied, and it was her final gift to me and her kindred dead.

We got news that Julie was failing after learning she had attended Dean Collette’s funeral (he was her colleague at Highland High School for many years) while we were away. We cut our trip short by a day, and hastened back home to find Julie was in a downward spiral from which there would be no return. Patsy stayed by Julie’s bedside through those remaining days and even spoke at her funeral with sister Nancy at her side. There seemed to be nothing to indicate that Patsy would soon follow Julie down to the grave. And yet, there it was right before us - two freshly dug graves within a month of each other, side by side in the Woodland Cemetery, a testament to the truth that mortal life has an expiration date for all of us, and we never know when our time might come. That said, our sorrow today is swept up in the anticipation of a joyful reunion someday in the spirit world. 

So, what was her philosophy about work? She embraced it, she thrived on it, and she taught us all by example what it looks like to work either for pay or for no pay. “Work we must,” wrote Hugh Nibley years ago, “but the lunch is free.” By that phrase Brother Nibley posited that work is a necessity of mortality, but our gracious and loving Heavenly Father provides a “free lunch” for all His children in the form of his love and grace for all of us regardless of our failings, sins and shortcomings when we do the best we can with what gifts we have received. 

No one embodied doing the best with what she had been given more than Patricia Brazier Hewlett Goates. She would say to all of us on this Labor Day, 2023, from her vantage point:

Improve the shining moments;
Don’t let them pass you by.
Work while the sun is radiant;
Work, for the night draws nigh.
We cannot bid the sunbeams
To lengthen out their stay,
Nor can we ask the shadow
To ever stay away. (Hymns, No. 226).

2 comments:

  1. It is Christmas Eve and I am in the doldrums. I have just read this post and the prior 2 regarding Patsy. They are masterfully written and are beautiful. I have been edified.

    I sometimes wonder if us husbands will be chastened a bit in the hereafter for not working as hard as our wives do or for not being more helpful. I'm trying to take more of the load but sometimes it seems the more I try the further behind her I get. I suppose it's because the more I try the more I see what she does.

    Anyway thanks for sharing and Merry Christmas

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  2. I find comfort in knowing it was never about competition between us. Rather, we each have separate and distinct talents that merge into what becomes a true partnership in blessing and serving one another in a pure expression of love.

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