How About a Little More Happy?

It's time to leave the travails of the Boy Scouts in our rear view mirror and move on to more optimistic thoughts for the future. I was asked the other day why I would put that news front and center in my blog, and my reply was, "If I am going to chronicle our lives and times, it must include some dark clouds and thunderstorms once in a while or it wouldn't be accurate."

This summer has brought some welcome developments in our lives. Like the Olympics, we postponed for a year our family reunion due to COVID-19 restrictions. But this year we gathered for the first time in four years, and we had an unmitigated blast of fun, frivolity and spiritual feasting together. We gathered everyone - all twelve of our living children and their families were in attendance. The last time that happened was when our youngest daughter Merilee was married to Michael Litchfield, and even then it was only for about two hours for pictures at the reception. We felt as though we were all blessed for being there. Power comes when we are all united in the spirit of family love and togetherness that simply cannot be replicated on Zoom or Marco Polo. The strengthening of those family bonds was clearly in evidence.

Speaking of the Olympics, if you can disassociate from the increasing politicization of the messaging and the mind-numbing commercial interruptions, there was a lot to like. I loved watching the women's volleyball team's march to the gold. Men's basketball and women's basketball was mostly a yawner because they were expected to win, but the volleyball was fun to see. Fun to watch Rudy Gobert playing for France (they took silver), and Joe Ingles playing for Australia (they took bronze). I loved that Xander Schauffele and Nelly Korda walked away with gold in men's and women's golf. They were both beset with challenging fourth rounds, and yet both triumphed through the adversity. 

Swimming and gymnastics were also inspirational for a host of reasons. Who doesn't love Katie Ledecky? She has circumnavigated the globe in the number of miles she has put in while training and competing during her life, and she says she will be there in Paris in 2024 doing it again. Men's swimming was dominated by Caeleb Dressel. Faster, indeed! 

MyKayla Skinner and Simone Biles

Watching Simone Biles wrestle with her emotional and mental challenges, then return in the last possible moment to capture a bronze medal on balance beam was humbling and motivating. MyKayla Skinner snagged silver when Biles withdrew from the vault. For both those young women a long gymnastics career has finally come to its close. Both have overcome inestimable obstacles to set an example of perseverance and consistency. And who will forget Suni Lee capturing gold for America in the all-around gymnastics final? Not many would have predicted that outcome as the games began. There are always a hundred stories of the journeys each athlete has taken to be part of the Olympics. Who were some of your favorites during the Olympics? Why do you love their stories? 

Not many people gave the Tokyo games much of a chance of happening. COVID-19 was still raging in Japan, and the groundswell of opposition to the games from the locals was deafening. But the organizers and the athletes persisted and the result was a triumph of the human spirit. We should have learned something from watching these athletes who were beset with all kinds of ups and downs in preparation for their participation. When there is a will to do in the hearts of the participants, there will be a way to prevail. 

We had our first ward summer party in a long time this summer. It was a tribute to those who put it on that the participation was so strong. Great turnout, fun activities, and great food. It's hard to imagine just how isolated we have been, but this party illustrated that we are all better together than apart. I taught the elders quorum lesson last Sunday, and for the first time in I can't remember when it was not broadcast via Zoom, perhaps a harbinger of better things to come. So fun to once again be interacting face to face.

Since the family reunion our pot gut population has retreated to I don't know where. We reclaimed our territory, I guess, and our sheer numbers have scared them all off. Maybe you can examine your personal life and decide where you can take back some territory from the varmints that may have infested your world. It's a good thing for the pot guts that they've scattered, because now I have installed a 6x scope on my .22, and now that it's zeroed in they will not survive their interactions with me in the future. What installations are you making to fortify yourselves?

President Henry J. Eyring

I loved a video that came online today from President Henry J. Eyring of BYU-Idaho in which he is urging his students to get vaccinated if they can before they return to school in Rexburg. His comments were well-reasoned, including the need to be mindful of the residents of the small communities in Idaho which would surely be impacted if an outbreak were to occur there. He also cited concerns about the limited medical and hospital resources in the community. It seems like so many other things in our society, the need for vaccinations has become a political conversation having nothing to do with public health.

I'm watching the air quality index (AQI) every day now, as smoke from California and other western states continues to fill our skies in Utah. Remarkably, we here in Utah have been able reduce the number of huge wildfires this year, but our skies are shrouded with smoke from surrounding states that is fouling our air. Today the AQI has dropped to 109 (it was 151 on Monday) where I am, but that's still a number that has profound health implications. The particulates are smaller and more toxic than the usual winter inversions we suffer in Utah. 

I saw a remark by Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT) the other day where he said he hoped and prayed climate change was caused by man because then we might be able to do something about it. Wherever you land on that argument, be assured that we can and we must do what we can to reduce the harmful impacts we are witnessing this summer. If it isn't COVID-19, it's a variant. If it isn't drought, it's a flood. If it isn't wildfires here in Utah, it's wildfires in California or Montana. If it isn't vaccines, it's masks. If it isn't a government mandate, it's the opposition to a mandate somewhere. The debates seem exhausting don't they?

Let's agree on this: It's been a wonderful summer, and it's made us happier than last summer. So how about taking a giant scoop of a little more happy?

The Boy Scouts Settle Sexual Abuse Cases for $850 Million

It gives me no pleasure to note the announcement this week that the Boy Scouts of America have settled sexual abuse cases in the amount of $850 million. Last year the organization declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and this latest announcement is yet another sign of its slow and precipitous decline.

Down 61% in membership since 2019, it should be obvious to even its most ardent supporters that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made the right choice in distancing itself from the Boy Scouts. Its current curriculum for young men is infinitely more advantageous than the old one that included Scouting. These latest revelations about sexual abuse were long rumored and are now confirmed by the court cases that proved their veracity.

For many years, I wrote about the tenuous relationship between the Church and the Boy Scouts. I always believed we could find a higher and better path than tethering ourselves to scouting as it has compromised itself into weakness. You can read my extended reasoning here in 2003, and here in 2013 . 

Estimated at 84,000 individuals who were affected by sexual abuse at the hands of Boy Scout leaders, it was so sad for me to read that these victims are now in their 60s and 70s. It has taken all these years for this first wave of cases to be resolved for the first 16,800 who filed suits. There will be years of future court cases and potentially billions of dollars in settlements to be paid out. This first settlement is the largest child sex abuse case in U.S. history. How ironic that it has arisen from a Scout Law that advocated for moral turpitude among its members.

I can still recite the Scout Law from memory: A Scout is: Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Sadly, now if you search Google for "scout law" what you end up with is references to "scout law suits."

We are living in a day of declining moral values. As young scouts, we internalized the Scout Law as obedient participants, but now we know there were predators among the ranks of the leaders who preyed upon the youthful boys in their troops. Those facts will continue to emerge in the years ahead. There may be fewer and fewer who will be traumatized by these details, but there are still many who will feel the ripples in the pond from the actions of those perpetrators for generations yet to come. Often the victims of sexual abuse become the practitioners. 

We can agonize all we want about how wicked the world has become, but it is all a fulfillment of prophecy: "And until that hour there will be foolish virgins among the wise - and at that hour cometh an entire separation of the righteous and the wicked; and in that day will I send mine angels to pluck out the wicked and cast them into unquenchable fire." (D&C 63:54).

We are moving toward that day of final separation, and it should not surprise us when these tragic stories are broadcast to the world. Black is becoming blacker and white is becoming whiter. We all have a precious gift to choose God first and discern truth from error: "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2 Nephi 2:27).

I have abiding and profound confidence in the living prophets who preside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Our current Prophet uses words like invite, plead, encourage, and promise to help us find peace in this ever-darkening world around us. Read again the words of President Russell M. Nelson as he delivered the closing sermon at the General Conference in which he was sustained as the President of the Church:

Our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of His mightiest works between now and when He comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, preside over this Church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.

My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation. Let this Easter Sunday be a defining moment in your life. Choose to do the spiritual work required to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost and hear the voice of the Spirit more frequently and more clearly.

With Moroni, I exhort you on this Easter Sabbath to “come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift,” (Moroni 10:30) beginning with the gift of the Holy Ghost, which gift can and will change your life.

We are followers of Jesus Christ. The most important truth the Holy Ghost will ever witness to you is that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. He lives! He is our Advocate with the Father, our Exemplar, and our Redeemer. On this Easter Sunday, we commemorate His atoning sacrifice, His literal Resurrection, and His divinity.

The Wednesday Wash Line of Questions

I've had a number of random thoughts running through my fixed brain this morning. Bear with me as I hang them out to dry on the Wednesday wash line.

Governor Spencer Cox

You'd have to be a special kind of stupid to advocate for indiscriminate use of fireworks in a state like Utah this year. The winds and the dry ground are a lethal combination of fire hazard, especially where we live in the high Uintas. I hold my breath every day when the wind picks up and the air is so dry you can feel it all the way down your throat. I doubt that Utah will ever be anything but a semi-arid climate despite all the recent calls for fasting and prayer to mitigate the impact of the drought. I love the leadership of Governor Spencer Cox (R) UT in calling for fasting and prayer for more rain. But, given those facts, doesn't it just make sense to ban fireworks completely? I wonder why that hasn't made its way into the collective consciousness of our legislature yet.

Here's another thought - why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Is it just because they receive federal tax dollars to build their highways as part of building an interstate system? But why call them that in Hawaii? Which state does Hawaii connect to via an interstate highway? Um, nope, can't think of even one.

This morning I read that a recent poll concluded a solid majority of Americans still favor not overturning the infamous Roe v. Wade decision to allow abortions. You can take whatever political side of that question you choose, but isn't abortion just state-sanctioned murder of fetuses? How long will abortion remain the law of the land? I know there are heated and passionate debates about it all around the country, but come on, Americans, we can do better here can't we? Let's call abortion what it is and just label it as murder, and let's refuse to fund abortion with tax dollars. Isn't it time?

And what about same-sex marriage? As the traditional barriers we once associated with morality continue to crumble, can't we all agree that state-sanctioned marriages of anything other than one man and one woman should be re-examined? Some call it progressive plurality and hail it as coming to a more enlightened age of sophistication. I'd have to say it's something else. You can label me conservative if you like. I've been called worse.

Here's another thought along those lines - can it be much longer before we sanction polygamy or polyandry? I wonder why those ideas haven't surfaced yet in our society. Once thought abhorrent enough to drive the Mormons out of the United States and compel them to set up their community in these arid wastelands in the West, why would our "enlightened" views continue to exclude polygamists in the progressive debate? Does that make sense? Why so many seeming contradictions?

I have a "pot gut problem" at the Ranch where we live. Each year they burrow unrestrained during the winter months throughout the yard and surrounding locations. They are nourished during winter by eating the roots of healthy plants and trees above their tunnels. This year I count ten or twenty running across the road as I drive up and down our 2.5 mile driveway. The larger predators and birds of prey are their natural enemies. I watched a hawk swoop down on one this morning and snag it in its talons. Good for the hawk, but those pot guts must be elusive little varmints, because I feel I need to contribute a strong human intervention to stop them in their tracks. I bought a semi-automatic .22 caliber carbine rifle a few years ago, and that seems to be the only reasonable means of keeping them at bay and out of Patsy's flowers. I really have no problem with them on an intellectual level, but when they invade my wife's flowers, the .22 comes out and they are on my extinction radar. Then it's no longer live and let live with me. It's personal.

When pot guts are able to proliferate without being confronted, then why do we have to put up with other predators in our society too? I have a daughter who was touched inappropriately by a trusted and well-respected physical therapist when she was a teenager. She is just now coming to realize what really happened back then. Turns out what he was doing wasn't in anyone's description of "normal." She will now take steps to confront that reality with other young women who were similarly affected by his aberrant behavior. Sometimes human intervention is required in a situation where adults are allowed to prey on children for their own pleasure without fear of retribution. Like pot guts, they must be destroyed so they cannot prey upon others. The Southern Baptists are taking steps to do just that in their congregations.

Why are some people able to cover their sins for years without any consequences? Why aren't the wicked immediately punished? Why are the good people rarely rewarded instantly for their good deeds? Why does there seem to be so much injustice in the world? Why does forgiveness seem to be so impossible to grant when judgment is so much easier? Why does God permit the wicked to go on unchecked while the righteous continue to suffer at their hands? Why do the tares have to be permitted to flourish with the wheat until the final harvest? Can't we just pluck out a few tares right now?

Why doesn't everyone who has been vaccinated just wear a red "V" around their neck instead of a mask over their nose and mouth?

Why is the Second Coming so slow in coming? Why is finding a reliable plumber so hard to do? When you have a family full of really competent people - doctor, dentist, physical therapists, cosmetologists, electrician, software engineers, trona miner, educators, salesmen, attorney - why do you not have even one plumber? Why does America's GM make what appear to be big tough SUVs that can't take it on the rough ranch road, but Japan's Toyota has the right stuff that cruises over rough roads without wearing out universal joints? Why does a little wind-blown snow over the road in the winter suddenly render useless whatever vehicle you have to conquer those roads? Why do tires always need to be replaced in the summer instead of waiting until winter when new tread is really needed more?

Why does sagebrush seem so difficult to eradicate, and yet watering it can kill it? Why does a worldwide pandemic like COVID-19 have such a devastating impact upon the people living on Earth? Why does it take a pandemic to reduce us to our lowest common denominators of survival? Last week we flew for the first time in over a year, and we walked the one-mile concourse at the new SLC International Airport, which begged the question, "Where are the trams?" That place is cavernous. I learned later the answer to my question is that trams are coming in a subsequent phase of the construction.

And that might be the only answer to any of the questions that are rattling around in my brain this morning.

Lessons Learned

I am not sure where you were a year ago today, but I was undergoing what would turn into a 12 1/2 hour surgery on my brain at the U of U Medical Center in Salt Lake City. COVID-19 had forced hospitals in to a "no visitor" restriction, so at 4:30 a.m. that morning my son dropped me off at the curb and I walked through the doors of the hospital to check in all alone.

COVID-19 proved to be a formidable foe to conquer. It was hard to get any information for my wife and family. They became concerned as the hours wore on into the early evening. What could be taking so long? Finally, they received a phone call from one of the residents who had been in the operating room, who reported that the surgeon, Dr. Schmidt, had been required to do a lot more "chipping and hammering" than he had originally thought he would. 

Um, yeah, when I heard that I thought someone might want to give that resident a few tips on his bedside manner with the wives of their patients, even though it was a phone call. Turns out my particular brain surgery for the removal of a meningioma tumor (benign) involved chiseling inside my skull to remove the tumor that had adhered to the inside of my skull in the frontal lobe. It involved a little artistic advanced carpentry for Dr. Schmidt, who was more than up to the task. My vision in my right eye had deteriorated to 20/50 because of the tumor's tentacles that were wrapped around the optic nerve, so that was delicate. I went back to the ophthalmologist for a follow-up recently, who confirmed what I had known for months - my sight was restored to 20/20.

In fact, that word "restored" is an apt description of what happened to me. All the symptoms and the deficiencies caused by the compression of the brain tissue by the tumor that I had encountered for years leading up to the diagnosis and the surgery have been eliminated. Bodily functions have returned to their pre-cancerous condition. My strength in body and limbs has been restored through rehabilitation and therapy. I can now bear witness in part what the resurrection might someday look like. I know what it is to come through the dark valley of the shadow of death and back up to the mountain top of hope and sunshine.

So, what of the lessons learned? President Russell M. Nelson suggested some lessons that we might have learned during this past year in his recent General Conference address. In addition there are many sobering lessons I have learned personally that will never be forgotten. Among them:

Carl Bloch, The Pool of Bethesda

1. Never underestimate the adversary, who will destroy you in a moment if he could. I was in a weakened state unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life. The doctors were pleased to inform me pre-surgery that their workup of my physical condition revealed that I had a strong heart and strong lungs. That was about all they could tell me that I was contributing to the operation. Everything else had been compromised. And Satan took full advantage of that reality. I was rescued more than once during my ordeal by ministering angels from the other side of the veil who strengthened me and protected me from the spirits who sought my destruction. I sensed there was a titanic struggle for my soul that was raging while I was so weak, and there was little I could do about it. The Savior is truly a Healer, as depicted above in Bloch's masterful painting.

2. The love we have for one another, though it may seem intangible and practically indiscernible on occasion, is in fact eternal in its nature and binds us to one another in every conceivable way. I came away from this year of isolation yearning for interaction with my family and friends. I plan to continue cherishing those relationships more than I ever have in the past. The restrictions of the COVID-19 pandemic, whether government- or self-imposed are gradually sliding into oblivion. Of course, some areas of the world are more affected than others, and we are grateful for where we are and we continue praying for nations like India where the pandemic continues to rage. I am grateful for the renewed perspective of love for others.

3. Enjoyment of the reality of home-based, Church-supported curriculum for our scripture study. This past year has seen the Church mature into a place I could only wish for many years ago when I lamented quietly and patiently in my personal journal that the Church seemed mired "in the thick of thin things," as Elder Neal A. Maxwell once expressed it. Today, we are a Christ-centered Church, and that development has been enhanced by the adversity we have passed through this last year. President Nelson saw it coming in the preparations and direction he gave for our home-based emphasis on gospel learning and application. The privilege of having the sacrament in our own homes while we were in isolation was profound and much appreciated. It has been years in the making, but it seems we are poised now to make major strides forward into the future with a laser-like focus on Christ's gospel.

4. I have learned never to take good health for granted. Recently, we were at dinner with two couples at a restaurant, something we haven't done for at least a year because of the pandemic. How rich that experience was for all of us. We are all of a certain age where it seems the main topic of conversation was health and wellness. One had recently had his third operation on a shoulder, after replacement surgeries on both hips and knees. The other had recently had a malignant skin cancer tumor removed from his neck, which followed three stents in his heart arteries that had saved his life. He joked that he's just giving up one body part at a time as he ages. We all had a story to tell, and that's what we all have to look forward to as we age. The law of entropy - that all things fail eventually - has never been more true. When you are young and vigorous, such thoughts of entropy are remote and seldom considered.

5. My love for my Savior has never been more full and complete. I was reminded of a great book that President Spencer W. Kimball wrote years ago entitled, Faith Precedes the Miracle. He is echoing the inspiration of Moroni, who wrote: ". . . it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief and all is vain." (Moroni 7:37). I have been rescued during this past year, beginning with my hours-long surgery one year ago today. I have never been so grateful for an outcome over which I had so little control. Just to be able to sit at my computer again and write the things of my soul is a gift of inestimable worth to me, all possible by the grace and goodness of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

"Give your best advice to the graduating seniors"

Goates Kids, Christmas Eve 2019

This last Christmas I was given the gift of Story Worth, a website that encourages subscribers to write their life story in bite sized pieces. Once a week I am given a topic by my family, who submit subjects they would like me to write about, and then those weekly missives will be collected and bound after a year. This week's topic was timely - "Give your best advice to the graduating seniors."

It’s the month of May, when the graduating seniors are heading out onto the vast uncharted ocean of opportunities ahead of them. They will leave behind the safety of their parents’ cocoon and learn new lessons of life. This year’s batch of high school graduates in our family includes Alex, Spencer and Molly. Rather than confine my comments just to them, I’ll invite all of you to read on as well.

There are websites that have collected all the wisdom of the world from many important and prestigious people. Those gems of wisdom are no doubt sagacious and many of those quotes form the backbone of most commencement speeches that will be given this month. But I am not one who seeks the wisdom of men as my source of advice to others.

1. Seek the Spirit. 

When Elder Bruce R. McConkie was called serve as a mission president in Melbourne, Australia, he decided they needed a mission motto. He took all his missionaries up to a nearby mountaintop and had them fast and pray together to come up with a motto they all liked and would live by. After discussing and offering up several suggestions, they agreed the most important thing they could do in their missionary experience was to seek the Spirit and to obey the Spirit’s promptings. 

As we became parents and discussed what we felt would be the best lesson we could teach our children, we concluded that if we could teach them to recognize and live by the voice of the Spirit our children would always be on the covenant path and would have the direction they needed to inherit eternal life. We did not believe in answering every question for our children. (I know that was frustrating for some.) We did not believe in holding ourselves up as the experts in everything. That would have been exhausting! Instead, we agreed together that our children would be able to navigate all of life’s challenges if they could obtain the priceless gift of the Holy Ghost. We knew we would not always be with them to counsel and guide them, and we also knew the Holy Ghost would be the only infallible guide in which they could trust unerringly in every situation. 

So my number one piece of advice is to seek the Spirit.

2. Read your patriarchal blessing frequently. 

Stake patriarchs are called to be seers to the people among whom they live. They have a direct pipeline to Heavenly Father through which you may obtain your own revelation about your life in mortality and beyond directly from God. It doesn’t matter who the man is that gives you a patriarchal blessing. You may rely upon whatever counsel and advice he gives as though you were receiving it straight from Heavenly Father. It isn’t a horoscope or a mystical magical incantation conjured up through hocus pocus or some other worldly means. It’s God’s personal invitation to you to do certain things with your life that will lead you, like the Spirit, toward eternal life. Treasure up your blessing and heed the counsel and warnings contained in it.

3. Gain all the experience you can in a variety of fields of endeavor. 

Be a generalist to start with, then hone in and focus on areas that you are most interested in as you decide which direction you will pursue in your life. Study and learn always. Never close the book on learning. Read a lot of books. Do a lot of different activities that take you beyond your comfort zone. Travel a lot if you can. Meet a lot of people. Date a lot of people, so that when you meet “the one” you’ll know her or him when you find them. Get sealed in the temple. Start a family. Don’t wait for something to come along at the “right” time when it’s convenient. Love can be messy and it might pop up at the very time you least expect it to. Don’t use a checklist of traits to apply to your future companion. Become the traits you most admire in another instead. Be engaged in doing good things for yourself and others.

In all that doing and getting and learning and exposing yourself to the world around you, make certain the things you are involved with square with what you know about the gospel of Jesus Christ. All knowledge is not the same. Some things are nice to know. Some things are important to know. And some things are absolutely essential to know. Learn to discern the differences between types of knowledge. Learn to be discerning in the sources you seek for learning. Not all the sources are reliable or can be weighted with equal value.

4. Lead others to Christ. 

Follow Christ and His teachings in your own life. A full-time mission isn’t for everyone, but it might be for you. That’s the easiest way to learn to love others and serve others. Do not discount the impact you might have on someone else. It may be many years in coming, but you will inevitably get a phone call someday from someone you touched in a way that might have seemed almost insignificant to you, but they will confirm whatever it was you did or said that had a profound effect upon them. You may have changed someone’s life without even knowing it. Read the Book of Mormon each day if you can. You will meet the Savior as He speaks to you directly from the inspired writings of the prophets. You can open the pages randomly, or you can study it chronologically or topically - it really doesn’t matter - and you will invariably find wisdom and answers to your prayers in miraculous ways.

President Russell M. Nelson

5. Follow the prophet. 

Whoever the man is that presides in this Church, the way of safety and happiness is to listen, study and pray about what the prophet has to say. President Russell M. Nelson is God's prophet on the Earth today. Look to him and the other Apostles for answers. There are no sustaining and inspired answers in politics. If you follow the opinions of men you will be tossed to and fro on the turbulent seas of men's wisdom. The only global politician in whom you can exercise your faith is the living prophet of God. 

* * *

I could go on, but five items is enough. Grandma reminded me when this topic for writing came up that at eighteen years of age we pretty well knew everything and didn’t really need much advice back then. She’s probably right about that. 

I love you all, and pray for your happiness and success in all you do.