Sunday, January 28, 2024

Can People REALLY Change?

When you live as long as I have (76 and counting), you might find yourself reflecting upon your life experiences more than you did when you were younger and you were creating those memories. You will rub shoulders with a vast variety of souls in mortality. Some of the more interesting ones might even be in your immediate family. 

We often think others might be "out of touch" - sometimes they're just a little weird for our taste. We tend to seek associations with those of like-minded nature as ourselves. It's just human nature. We often dismiss others with, "Well, he'll never change."

Once in awhile, however, we are surprised to learn someone has changed who we haven't seen or been in contact with for many years. That leads me to discuss today's topic - can people really change?

My answer is a resounding "YES" - they can and they do!

Think about your own life. Have you changed from what and who you were during your youthful days of college? Have life's experiences tended to knock off some rough edges, rounding you into a more useful and accepting personality? Do you now seek the welfare of others more willingly and voluntarily than you did at one time? Do you count the cost and the potential return for you before you reach out in service to another, or do you give freely and voluntarily without a thought of possible remuneration?

We send missionaries all around the world today to seek those who want to change. We promote change. We advocate for change when it produces positive results. We bless lives instinctively. It becomes second-nature to us.

This morning a returning missionary couple shared their experiences during a humanitarian mission to first India, then they were re-assigned with nine months left to Cambodia. They cited examples of the most humble souls one could imagine who embraced the meager help this couple offered. In each case lives were blessed, changed, and improved. They weren't the kind of stories that will ever make the front pages of a newspaper, but eternally the impact of their service will be felt forever.

We tend to change most readily when we seek the awareness that change is warranted. When we do our own self-inventory as many do at the first of a new year, can we think of things others have said to us giving us some direction in what change for the better might look like? 

Is there ever a husband who doesn't freely offer course correction for his wife? Conversely, is there ever a wife who can't think of something her husband might do that could be helpful to her? Parents are quick to seek change in behaviors among their children. 

Most importantly, the Spirit of the Holy Ghost will always offer gently the ways in which we can change to bless others. These are always soft, gentle whispers so lovingly offered to us we may not be attuned to hearing them, but if we focus we can hear and feel those nudges. Acting upon them opens the door for change.

If we believe change in people is not possible, then why would we deploy tens of thousands of missionaries all around the world to see if we can share the gospel message with them? We have this abiding belief that they will embrace the fulness of the restored gospel, come unto Christ, join His Church here on earth, and then take steps to the temple where they are promised they can receive “all that my Father hath.” 

Imagine just how audacious that might seem to some. “I’m happy just the way I am,” they used to tell me in Northern England all those years ago. Or, “Got me own, luv,” was another frequent response when we posited changing churches. Those, of course, were the ones who could have cared less that I was in their home country on a two-year mission to save the world - their world - from certain destruction if they booted me off their doorstep. I learned how to deal with rejection in very real and precise terms in that experience.

But I also, on occasion, was a witness to those few precious souls who DID embrace the possibility of change. They gave up coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco and hard drugs for starters. They had to change before they could be baptized, and a few blessed souls to whom I carried that possibility actually did change in dramatic ways right before my eyes. As our visits together progressed, I saw visible changes in their homes. They cleaned up before we had lessons. They cleaned their clothes, they bathed and dressed their young children so they were “presentable” to us. One even told me they thought we were angels from the presence of God who had come to their home. And they changed. Asking an Englishman or woman to surrender their tea to us, then never drink it again was like asking some to cut off their arm. It was the acid test of their sincerity, and some just couldn’t do it.

I am bound to my eternal companion Patsy in bonds of celestial marriage. How does this relate to raising our children in today’s environment? We are bound together by celestial bonds and covenants as an eternal family. We love one another, we love being together, and we are sometimes saddened when one of us might weaken or falter in whatever extremity with which we are dealing at the moment. So we reach out to help one another in love. 

We are inspired by each other as we witness one rising above their challenges and succeeding as they move along life’s path. I know I have drawn strength from each of you as I watch from the sidelines. I thank you, each one of you, as I see you change, grow, and conquer your demons. 

The other night after I had upgraded to the new i-Phone 15, I hadn’t realized I would have to download all my apps on my new phone. The Google browser was just spinning, and I couldn’t figure out how to get it unstuck. Grandson Alex was here, I asked him my question, he took my phone, hit a few buttons, and bingo - it somehow “magically” downloaded in seconds. He said something that has stuck with me: “Grandpa, sometimes the best solution when it comes to technology is just to hit the restart button. That solves almost every problem.” I told him whimsically, “That’s why you've come home from your mission at just the right time, so you could help me change my phone.”

Isn’t that the way it is with each of us? Sometimes we get “stuck,” and we can’t seem to find the next step out of our dilemma, whatever it may be. We need a “reset.” How blessed we are to have the gospel to guide us to daily repentance. 

We reset ourselves, then begin again as we pursue our course in life and get back on the covenant path if we have wandered off it for a time. Changing for the better is what life is all about.

That's why we have a "reset" button on our phone and the Holy Ghost as our constant companion.

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