The 1st Anniversary of Patsy's Death

It's almost a year since my beloved Patsy's death. It will be a year tomorrow - July 25th, 2024. I have been pondering the lessons learned since her passing. It's Pioneer Day in Utah, the statewide holiday when we commemorate the arrival of those noble pioneers who traversed the American wilderness in 1847 to settle in these valleys of the mountains in what would later become the great state of Utah. 

In so many ways, Patsy's life embodied the finest qualities of her ancestry who carved out their homes here. In 1976, we laid the footings and the foundation of our mountain home in Woodland, Utah, in her ancestral summer home of Pine Valley. In every way she was a modern pioneer woman blazing a trail for those who would follow after her in this idyllic setting.

I suppose it is not surprising that someone near and dear to me in the ward asked me recently what I’ve learned in the last year since Patsy’s death. Today I will boldly and publicly answer that question. I can now offer some lessons that have quietly distilled upon me.

Most will tell you to wait at least a year after the death of a loved one before making any major decisions. I have seen the wisdom of that advice. Here are some obvious observations:

1. I can’t imagine re-marrying anyone else. Patsy is cemented in my heart and soul as my eternal companion, and I’m not sure I want to muddy those waters by seeking a new relationship anytime soon. I watched it happen to others and it’s always appeared to be a complex situation when blending two new families. I'm opting for simplicity.

2. Thoughts have taken shape over this past year about what to do with the house. I’ve asked my attorney son, Rich, to put together some legal paper work to effectively transfer title to an entity yet to be determined, and owned by those who are willing and desire to take ownership in the future. Some will opt in and others will opt out. I want to make certain that we entertain everyone’s wishes and accommodate as many as possible in whatever contingency may arise. Stay tuned for details to emerge. I continue to welcome and solicit your input.

3. That brings up the outstanding mortgage. I wish I were debt-free, but that is not the case. Son Steve recently estimated that if every family - 12 in number - contributed $100 per month that could be applied directly to principal, the mortgage would be retired completely in 9 years! Of course, that contribution would be strictly voluntary, but it illustrates the power of a large number of contributors. This is just to plant a seed for discussion for now.

4. I’ve learned to be more loving, more patient and more forgiving than ever before. It’s because I am closer to following in Patsy’s footsteps than I ever envisioned until now. My weaknesses are many, and I continue to seek improvement in these specific areas. I have always believed the best in others, and this has sometimes been a weakness that has hurt me and our family.

5. There have been some amazing happenings in which I have learned I was correct in my earlier decision making, even though the outcomes were unknown back then. At the top of that list was my recent lunch with an old co-worker who confirmed my choices. Who knew it would take this many years to reach closure? A lesson in patience and faith for sure.

6. I have been more grateful than ever for good health. My recent doctors’ appointments have been affirming to me. There has been improvement in my brain, my eyes and my overall health profile as confirmed by the doctors. Of course, I am not unaware my mortal overall outcome will be death, as it is for each of us, but for the moment I am happy to be alive and thriving to the extent I am.

7. I’ve learned to savor my memories, which explains why I never seem to run out of topics about which I can write. My personal physician told me yesterday he believes writing helps my brain to continue to function well. He encouraged me to keep doing it. I agree, and hope you do too.

8. My life with Patsy was joyful and fulfilling in every way imaginable. My testimony of the gospel was enhanced and buttressed in every way by my eternal companionship with her. I still savor that last road trip we took out to Minnesota and back, stopping as we did in six temples in six states in six days. It was the fitting culmination of our lives together in loving and worshipping in the temples.

9. My lessons in loneliness continue unabated. “Is it good for man to be alone? It is NOT good that the man should be alone.” (See Abraham 5:14). Those words from scripture resonate in my heart every night and every day. I have settled into routines that are not nearly as complete and joyful as they were when we were still together in the flesh.

10. I have been asked about whether or not I still “feel” her nearby. The answer is “Yes.” It’s so real sometimes I expect to see her walking into the room at any moment. I still imagine hearing her bath water running in the other room while I am laying in bed at night. I am still waiting for her to join me when I realize I am drifting off to sleep all alone.

11. How would you summarize the last year without her? It’s simple. I miss her every moment of every day. The emptiness I feel is very tangible, and it’s a physical phenomenon having little or nothing to do with my faith and the spiritual truths I hold inviolate. It’s root-bound in my physical world that has been altered. I know the gospel is true, I know my Redeemer lives and died to take away all my sins, and I know the plan of salvation includes the hope of a resurrection and eternal life. All that said, however, there is a physical dimension in which I live that demands my ongoing attention. That includes meals, laundry, cleaning, chores, repairs, managing resources, and embracing the changing seasons. It’s all different now without her.

12. I know she lives on in the spirit world. I am thankful for the spiritual manifestations I have received that give me that assurance. Sometimes it is just a quiet prompting to do something good for someone. I’ve have dreams about her now. I often find myself envisioning what it will be like to go through the veil to be greeted by her and all my family members who have preceded me in death. I dreamt about that last night.

* * *

There may be other lessons learned I have not written yet, and to that end I may amend this post in future days, but twelve is enough for now. By putting myself "out there" I only hope to inspire others who may be in similar circumstances, not to suggest I have all the answers. I've decided I'm just not that smart to qualify as a guru quite yet.

Please know how much I cherish each of you, my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, who receive these updates. I hope they may be useful to you. That’s the only reason I write what I do so there may be a lasting testament that will outlive me.

I watched her funeral services again this morning. I was reminded how incredible each of you is as I shared that sacred hour with all of you a year ago. Her life was the embodiment of discipleship to her Savior Jesus Christ as a true and devoted pioneer. In you I see her. May each of us continue to follow the path she has set before us, the covenant path, with hearts brimming with faith and assurance that she will never be far from us. Of that fact I am a witness. 

And Then She Was Gone. . .

I write today to inform the world of the passing of my spouse and eternal companion, Patsy. Her passing came upon us all suddenly and without much warning. Those who have heard about it have asked, "Was she sick?" The answer is simple: not until in the last twenty-four hours when sepsis filled her body.

I met Patsy Hewlett when she was a student at East High School, one year younger than me. Until she drew her final peaceful breath on Earth, she loved me and her whole family completely, absolutely and wholeheartedly without any reservations. She was an emissary of Jesus Christ, a true angel on Earth. Easily the most spiritual woman I have ever known, she was on intimate terms with the Almighty.

One night recently, we settled down in front of the TV to watch a movie together over dinner. I asked her to say the blessing on the food while I paused the movie. There is a counter that tracks the minutes between the pause button and the play button. When we looked up again, the timer had exceeded 15 minutes. And that was a prayer over food, but so much more! Her individual prayer roll grew longer with each passing month. I used to tease her that she left out the tribe of Reuben. Oh, what prayers we have shared together over the years! Her final act on Earth, I believe, was to die, return to the spirit world and begin answering her own prayers on behalf of all for whom she prayed. Don't be surprised if you discover a new guardian angel who is pleading your cause before the Throne of Divine Grace. Without even knowing it, you may have been on her mind and in her heart. 💗💗 She loved, loved, loved hearts.

How I love this dear companion! Our first date by all accounts should have been recorded as a complete disaster. They ran out of food before we got there, the dance band had taken a break just before we arrived, and there was nothing to do but take up a spot on the side of the dance floor and talk. And oh, did we talk!

Our conversation expanded into the early morning hours on our way back home. It was soul-searching, deeply spiritual, and wide-ranging. I was amazed at the depth of her soul, the strength of her testimony, and the power that spilled forth from her all night long. When quizzed by my mother the next morning, she asked, "What was Patsy wearing?" I stammered out a response, "I think it was a yellow gown." I quickly assured her my memory wasn't bad, but that we were engrossed in a spirit to spirit deep connection I had never encountered. 

One of our younger sons said to me yesterday that he has been lamenting his children would not know or be able to remember Grandma Patsy. I said to him, "Don't worry, I will write the exhaustive seven-volume series about her and I won't leave a single stone unturned." I pray I may live long enough to complete that joyous work for our posterity.

As an example of her thoughtfulness, I took her to the emergency room in the Park City Hospital only last week when she was complaining of intense chest pain. I thought she may be having a heart attack, but it was only pericarditis, an inflammation of her heart lining, and I took home a regimen of anti-inflammatory medicine to treat it. Behind us in line came a middle-aged mother accompanied by her daughter. The mother was crying out in agonizing pain, gently holding her arm which we later discovered had been broken. Without even thinking, Patsy instructed me to let her go first in line ahead of us. And that's what happened. She always thought about someone else ahead of herself. It was instinctive with her, a reflexive act of charity.

We had a family gathering this last Sunday afternoon in our home. I had received permission from our bishop to offer her the sacrament after which we shared testimonies with each other. She was sedated for pain in her hospice bed, but even with her eyes closed, she said "Amen" when each one concluded, and she mouthed the words of the hymns we sang. It was a spiritual, peaceful outpouring of love for the Savior, the gospel and for each other. She loved every minute.

Then later that night she sat up, spoke with her beloved son, Andrew, who is a highly skilled surgeon. He told her he was concerned about her lungs. She said, "Yes, so am I." He asked her if she would like to return to the hospital for further testing to see if he could make her stronger. She said she would, and we packed her as gently as we could into the car.

That was the beginning of the end. They discovered three infectious sites in her body, including pneumonia in her lungs, none of which had been evident in her most recent blood workups. 

"Dad," whispered daughter Melanie early the next morning, "She's gone."

And with that simple notification she had left quickly, quietly and without disturbing anyone or being a burden to anyone - it was on her own terms and her own way.

People ask me how I'm holding up. The answer is also simple - I am being borne up as on the wings of angels all around me. They are my family, friends, and nearly everyone who has heard about her passing. And most of all, I am being sustained by my dearest Patsy who continues to minister to my needs in a higher and holier place.

 

Give Thanks, Flood the World with Gratitude

 

Yesterday President Russell M. Nelson offered his prescription for dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping across the world and spiking here at home in Utah. His secret formula: 1) Flood the world with personal expressions of gratitude for the next seven days, and 2) offer up sincere and humble prayer daily.

That may sound too simplistic to some, but he explained in another news release that this idea hit him in the middle of the night and he followed through on the impression the next morning. He offered his own prayer for all the world to witness as he concluded his message.

So I will begin my personal "Thanksgiving Journal," Day 1: I #givethanks first and foremost to my beloved companion of over 50 years, Patsy. That's her, above (third from the left), in a four-generation picture on the snowy day of grand-daughter Ashley John's sealing at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. She has the faith of a pioneer woman. I've often teased her that she was born 200 years too late. It was her leadership in mustering the faith of everyone in our family and our ward to see me through the episode of my meningioma diagnosis and subsequent brain surgery. She would have been at the top of my list in any event, but this latest example merely burnishes her place in all our hearts, especially mine.

I #givethanks for the knowledge of my Father in Heaven and His Only Begotten Son, our Redeemer Jesus Christ. But for the Savior's atoning sacrifice and Joseph Smith's humble prayer, we would be without hope in this world for the world to come.

I am constantly pondering what my life would be like without the Prophet Joseph Smith. As he opened the last dispensation of the gospel of Jesus Christ in these last days his faithfulness and persistence were astounding by anyone's calculations. Even his enemies seem to have been silenced to some degree as the monumental publication of the Joseph Smith Papers puts to flight so many of the specious and scurrilous allegations that now seem frivolous. I #givethanks to Joseph in this 200th anniversary year of his First Vision of the Father and the Son in the grove of trees near Palmyra, New York on a spring morning in 1820.

I #givethanks to God for the organization of His church, the only true and living church on the face of the earth today - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Its genius organizational design and flexibility for growth worldwide is expanding its reach day by day as we gather the house of Israel on both sides of the veil.

I #givethanks for a living and loving prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, who continues unabated to give guidance and loving counsel to all the world. His gentle "invitations" are just that - calculated to offer a welcoming hand of fellowship to all who will respond with obedience and sacrifice. He is absolutely a man to match the mountains that surround us in the tops of the mountains of Utah.

This Thanksgiving season will be different because we are living in a COVID-19 pandemic. I hope we can remember that it's not to be measured as successful based upon the number who normally would gather around our table for dinner. Rather, this year let us measure ourselves based upon the depths of our gratitude for all the blessings a loving Heavenly Father has showered upon us.

I am greatly blessed for the return of my brain this year. How grateful I am for the advances of medical science that made possible the intrusion into my skull to excise that meningioma tumor. I #givethanks not only for skilled physicians and a talented medical team to support them, but most of all for the Great Physician who has made the healing so complete and perfect.

I think I am ready to even #givethanks for the brain tumor, now removed, that has put me in remembrance as never before of all the blessings I have received.

The Goates Notes Five Years Later

Recently, Kurt Francom of LeadingLDS.com reached out requesting an interview for his site. I wasn't certain about it, and it took a few hits and misses for us to finally connect, but when we finally did he produced a podcast highlighting the origins of The Goates Notes and other topics of interest to him.

As I told Kurt during our interview, The Goates Notes had a rather naive birth in 2009, almost five years ago. When the thought of producing a blog was first suggested by daughter Melanie, I had to ask, "What is a blog?"

Now five years on and counting I believe I am beginning to understand.

I've had the joyful experience of a lifetime coming up with the content over those five years. In the early stages the ideas came easily, when I would find myself awakening to a new day with a mind bristling with possibilities for topics. Admittedly, I've slowed down the production line in recent months because other priorities have taken precedence. That said, I hope the content taken as a whole is representative of my thoughts, my deeply-held beliefs and my political philosophy that aligns with all of the above.

I want to thank those who have come to The Goates Notes over those past five years for content. The "odometer" on the number of visitors clicked over 200,000 last week, and each week an average of 1,000 visitors discovers content here through Google searches. I'm not exactly setting the blogger universe on fire, based upon those metrics, but I've been content with organic growth exceeding my wildest expectations when I embarked on this journey five years ago.

What I have done, I have done without apology and in the hope others may benefit from lessons learned. Everything here is original content and I answer to no one but myself and God. I'm not trying to win anyone over to my positions on anything. I simply want to be a voice for truth in the wilderness and a beacon for those who are seeking a higher path. In the process, I hope I don't embarrass my children and grandchildren too much.

Grandfather Lee often quoted someone who posed a provocative question: "Will we become the grandfathers of great men, or forever remain their grandsons?" The duty of each generation is to advance the species, I believe, and I am confident our children are raising that generation of great men my Grandfather Lee alluded to. To be their grandfather is incredibly satisfying and fulfilling at this stage of life.

One of our sons, Rich, was kind enough to comment on the interview, and reminded me of the many years Patsy tolerated the late night sessions with the scriptures and the typewriter (long before the computer) while I tried to make myself a useful instrument by attempting to understand the doctrine of Christ with all its gleaming facets. She truly has been a remarkable and patient partner in my pursuits.

In addition, reference to my dear friend Scott Strong came up more than once during our interview. Without Scott's deep and abiding friendship in our mutual love of the scriptures, perhaps neither of us would have gone as "deep" and as "far" as we did in those earlier formative years. So, for his lifelong friendship, example and love, I remain forever grateful and humbled. As I said in the interview, at one point along the way Scott and I commented we must be really "special" sons of God because He was revealing so much to us. Then, in more mature moments we began to realize He was revealing so much because we asked so much and He was merely keeping His promise that to everyone who asked there would be answers.

So, Happy Fifth Birthday to The Goates Notes. I will continue to scribble the notes if you'll continue to read them.

True Happiness

Patsy Hewlett Goates

A voice hath spoken from the dust,
Its message pure, without alloy,
Of treasured hope and sacred trust:
Oh, "men are that they might have joy."

Should sorrow come, we'll not despair,
For He would not that men should pine.
The grief that comes we'll learn to bear
Until again the sun doth shine.

Before the Lord, then, humbly go.
His message will our spirits buoy.
On us his blessings he'll bestow,
For "men are that they might have joy." (Hymns, no. 275)

"Adam fell that man might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
"And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. "And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
"And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit." (2 Nephi 2:25-28, emphasis mine).

Two years ago I was writing near this same day in the calendar, and I thought I was happy then. There is nothing to compare with the joy of a righteous posterity, which gives me the title for today's post. Two years ago our youngest daughter, Merilee, was preparing to leave to serve as a missionary in the Washington DC South Mission. Little did we know then what we know today about the impact that decision to serve a mission would have upon her life and ours.

While serving there, she met and worked with many, many missionaries. She was the first Sister Trainer Leader called when that new position was implemented, putting sister missionaries for the first time in the zone leader council meetings in missions throughout the world. She had the opportunity to serve many missionaries as the age limit was lowered to encourage more to serve.

President Ronald A. Rasband

We are informed by President Ronald A. Rasband, Senior President of the Seventy who now resides in our ward, that the number of full-time missionaries is expected to top out around 91,000 this fall sometime. As a result of that surge of missionaries, Merilee's mission was split and the southern boundary of their mission was swallowed up in a new mission.

Out of the Washington DC South Mission and into that new mission was transferred one of the Assistants to President Matt Riggs, Elder Michael Litchfield. They would not see each other again until after their missions. Returning within a week of each other, he to Washington state and Merilee to Utah, they began to commiserate through e-mails about how difficult their adjustment back to "normal life" seemed to each of them. Merilee suggested he come to Utah to seek employment and continue his education. You know, that's what friends do for each other.

Merilee and Michael

Within days (not weeks), he came to Utah, found a job in the same company where she was working, and by Christmas Eve it was apparent this relationship had flourished and prospered beyond their fleeting friendship as missionaries who had "locked their hearts" from any and all thoughts of anything but missionary work. Their relationship had been forged initially based upon their shared respect and admiration for each other as missionaries. Imagine his delight when they called President Riggs to inform him they had officially "unlocked their hearts" and planned to be married! Because of their missions, both Michael and Merilee have now "sealed their hearts" for each other and each chose an eternal companion for themselves neither may have considered without that mission experience.

True happiness in this life consists of one thing - obtaining a body. That was Joseph Smith's simplest answer when asked. Said he: "The great principle of happiness consists in having a body." (TPJS, 181.) In another place, he continued: "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God." (Ibid., 255). Further, the Lord revealed, "This is my work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39).We are spirit creations of God, and the mortal parents of children are partners with God in the creation process.

All the bodies that have been born on this planet and myriads of others like it have one thing in common: Physical bodies are the result of a man and a woman who procreate to open the door to mortality. A married couple must bring to pass the mortality of man and woman first before there can be any thoughts of immortality and eternal life. The single state is impotent and devoid of the power to procreate. The patriarchal order of the priesthood is meaningless without matriarchs. Kings cannot be kings without a Queen. Priests cannot be priests without a Priestess. There is no other way children are born except where medical science has been enabled to offer an "assist".

President Ezra Taft Benson

I think then-Elder Ezra Taft Benson sums up my feelings. His words are my words:

"When the God of heaven said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, he didn't insert any provisos.

"So, my brothers and sisters, think seriously about these things. Pray about them. Fast about them. The Lord will give you the answer because he wants you to succeed. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to have the blessings of righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where for physical and other reasons parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! Children are jewels. Blessed is the man or the woman who has a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family — parenthood — sacrifice. It's worth any sacrifice, practically, in order to have those sweet spirits come into your home and to come early, that you might enjoy them for a longer period; that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period; and that their children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period.

"May I again assure you that the Lord wants you to be happy. He wants you to be successful. He wants you to be good citizens of this great country. But above all, he wants you to live so that you will be exalted in the celestial kingdom of God. The door is open. The plan is here. The authority and the power is here. It's up to you. If we live according to that plan, we'll be happy; we'll be successful; we'll love this country and be good citizens of it; and we will be exalted in the celestial kingdom." (Delivered at Washington Stake M Men and Gleaner Fireside, March 28, 1954, reprinted in So Shall Ye Reap, Reed A. Benson, Ezra Taft Benson, 1960, 190-91,emphasis mine).

Let us therefore rejoice and be happy in the eternal marriage covenant. We find joy in the eternal family unit. All other forms of happiness are transitory and fleeting. True happiness is found in the family, and I am so thankful for each who contributes in my life to that fullness of joy.

Family Reunion 2013 (several missing)

The White Wedding Dress

This past week our granddaughter wore her grandmother's wedding dress. Ashley Bayles was a beautiful bride, as she and Tyler Johns solemnized their wedding vows in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. I hadn't seen that dress in forty-four years, and the mere sight of it brought with it an unexpected rush of emotions and memories.

Ashley Johns, Dianne Bayles, Patsy Goates, Peggy Weight

Patsy and her mother picked the dress in an exclusive shop in Melbourne, Australia, where she was living with her parents while her father was serving as a mission president. They brought the dress home and we were sealed on a warm sunny day, December 19th, 1969. And now here we were together with our granddaughter and her husband on December 21st, 2013! Time had collapsed around us. Four generations of faithful women stood together shoulder to shoulder.

The dress had been carefully tucked away for many years but was in need of cleaning. A careful and thorough dry-cleaning and a few nips and tucks here and there restored it to its once former radiant glory. On a dreary cold and snowy Saturday December day it was luminous and dazzlingly white. As she and Tyler exited the temple to greet friends and family waiting on the grounds outside for pictures, there was a catch in my throat and tears began to flow. Could it be possible that my bride had worn this same dress forty-four years ago?

Ashley and Tyler Johns

As we walked around to the front of the temple I was bombarded with memories of that day and all the days that followed. I reflected on how much I loved the woman who had worn it first so long ago. I remembered and relived the emotions of our wedding day. We had embarked on our eternal marriage journey full of hope in an uncertain future that awaited us, like all newlyweds. What would the future hold? Were we prepared for what life would bring us?

And now instead of looking forward with all those uncertain feelings, I found myself looking back over the path we had walked together with a sense of gratitude, calm and sweet serenity. I found I had forgotten everything that seemed fearful, uncertain or foreboding. In its place my memories were sweet and fulfilling, the culmination of forty-four years together with the same bride I cherished then. The love I felt then which seemed so all-consuming was merely a foretaste of the love I now feel. Patsy's white hair had replaced the white dress, an enduring testament to her constant purity and goodness. Her life had become the embodiment of what her white wedding dress had only symbolized so many years ago. The promise of what it once suggested had been delivered.

I wish I had words to express to young people what it means to live a life of virtue and selfless service. To know Patsy is to understand it without words. Ashley has expressed it beautifully in her tribute to her Grandma Patsy in this blog post of her own.

Ashley Johns and Grandma Patsy

I find there is only one way to communicate what it means to embrace the covenant relationship with God. It is to obey, sacrifice, walk the daily gospel path, remain chaste and to consecrate one's self to the task of building up the kingdom of God on the earth. It is to cleave to one another and to none others, and it is to cleave unto God and no other gods. It is to walk on a straight and narrow path that leads to eternal life in a very far distant day. It is to believe and to trust God. It is to embrace God's ways, His attributes and His Son. It is to come to know Them through all the twists and turns of mortality. It is to lean into the fierce winds and the howling voices of opposition that assail us in an increasingly hostile world and to remain true and faithful through it all.

Together Patsy and I have come down that path of mortality a very great distance. We now have more to look back upon than to look forward to. We have sown our seeds in fertile gospel soil, we have nurtured the seedlings, and we are now harvesting the mature crop. It is a rich harvest as we survey our vast fields. As we harvest the good memories, we also see before us many little blades of new green shoots popping up, assuring us the future will continue to produce nothing but good fruit.

When we stand in a mirrored chamber within sacred precincts, we now find ourselves in the unique position of understanding even better today than we did forty-four years ago what it is to see into eternity in both directions. In so many ways the symbols of the temple have found fulfillment in our lives. We know what it is to accept the torch of faithfulness from our ancestors, carry that torch for two or three generations, then pass it along for future generations.

As we witnessed Ashley and Tyler's sealing ceremony, I came closer to understanding what my Grandfather must have experienced that day, emotions spilling over as he uttered the words, "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth." In that room on Saturday sat the fulfillment of what had once only been the hope that posterity would eventually come to us. We had lived long enough to be surrounded by the embodiment of goodness and purity and joy. There is nothing to compare with the peace and serenity of a righteous posterity. Nothing. No other compensation can suffice.

The temple symbol of a white dress had become a reality in the lives of our children and grandchildren.

In Tribute to Patsy Hewlett Goates

Merilee and Patsy Goates

This week I've been living with two of my favorite women under one roof - my wife and our youngest daughter, Merilee. I realize in this circumstance three's a crowd, and I gladly accept my fate as a husband and father. They've been having way too much fun together, and I'm not about to spoil that by demanding equal time from either one.

We've been doing a lot of celebrating around here lately. Our 40th grandchild, Emma Lynn Goates, was blessed and received a father's blessing from her father, Andrew, last Sunday. She completes another circle of four generations of women in our family! We gathered in sacrament meeting where she was blessed and for a brunch following that coincided with Emma Lynn's mother's graduation from BYU. Congratulations Jessica!

Jessica, Peggy, Emma Lynn, Patsy

En route to the meeting, Merillee and BBF Kate got lost in Orem trying to find the building. After several attempts and text messages and conversations on cell phones trying to guide her to the meeting, they gave up and parked the car awaiting a rescue when the meeting was over. Her final text was classic, and provided an object lesson that will serve her well in the mission field: "We're tired of wandering around in circles, and we're lost. Will you PLEASE just come and find us and rescue us and show us the way back to Andrew's home when the meeting is over?"

Jessica, Emma Lynn, Andrew

The reason the object lesson is so profound is that Merilee will depart next week as the eighth missionary from our family for the Missionary Training Center in Provo, prior to her departure to the Washington D.C. South Mission, headquartered in Virginia. I reminded Merilee to treasure up in her heart the feelings she had as a lost soul, because it will help her identify with so many potential converts she will encounter on her mission.

It's all about perspective, and no one understood "perspective" better than Joseph Smith, unless it was the Savior Himself. Incarcerated against his will and falsely accused, Joseph Smith languished through the bitter cold winter months of 1838-39 in his dungeon temple - a Missouri hell hole ironically named Liberty Jail.

Liberty Jail

From his pen flowed these incredible words that follow, later canonized as scripture. These words illustrate the lofty revelatory heights to which an itinerant unlearned plow boy had risen in a few short years. One cannot read these words today and fail to be impressed with the prophetic insight Joseph possessed. The false claims and outrageous bigotry still raging today against him and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will someday have its end, but for the moment we can stand in awe of his prophetic tone:

And all that are in the magazines, and in the encyclopedias, and all the libelous histories that are published, and are writing, and by whom, and present the whole concatenation of diabolical rascality and nefarious and murderous impositions that have been practised upon this people —

That we may not only publish to all the world, but present them to the heads of government in all their dark and hellish hue, as the last effort which is enjoined on us by our Heavenly Father, before we can fully and completely claim that promise which shall call him forth from his hiding place; and also that the whole nation may be left without excuse before he can send forth the power of his mighty arm.

It is an imperative duty that we owe to God, to angels, with whom we shall be brought to stand, and also to ourselves, to our wives and children, who have been made to bow down with grief, sorrow, and care, under the most damning hand of murder, tyranny, and oppression, supported and urged on and upheld by the influence of that spirit which hath so strongly riveted the creeds of the fathers, who have inherited lies, upon the hearts of the children, and filled the world with confusion, and has been growing stronger and stronger, and is now the very mainspring of all corruption, and the whole earth groans under the weight of its iniquity.

It is an iron yoke, it is a strong band; they are the very handcuffs, and chains, and shackles, and fetters of hell.

Therefore it is an imperative duty that we owe, not only to our own wives and children, but to the widows and fatherless, whose husbands and fathers have been murdered under its iron hand;

Which dark and blackening deeds are enough to make hell itself shudder, and to stand aghast and pale, and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy.

And also it is an imperative duty that we owe to all the rising generation, and to all the pure in heart —


For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it —


Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven —


These should then be attended to with great earnestness.

Let no man count them as small things; for there is much which lieth in futurity, pertaining to the saints, which depends upon these things.

You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. (D&C 123:5-17, emphasis mine).

Despite the opposition, we are still in a season of gathering, and it is a prolonged season because of the patience of God. We are gathering the gatherers still, searching for the predominant blood of the sons of Israel flowing in the veins of the descendants of Joseph's sons, Ephraim and Manasseh. It is "believing blood." They are the good people of the earth who are searching to be reclaimed from their fallen and lost condition and to be brought into the light of the fullness of the restored gospel. They are lost and we know the way. They want it, but they simply do not yet know where to find it.

Merilee and all those 56,000 missionaries like her scattered throughout the earth today, will lead them one by one into the light, point the way to happiness now and everlasting joy eternally. She will lead them into the light and when they meet her they will find the missing piece in their lives explaining their mortal condition in simple and cogent terms even a child can understand. She will help lead them home to the stakes of Zion where safety and hope abide in the midst of a chaotic world gone mad. Oh, did I mention she's going to the belly of THAT beast in Washington D. C.? I love that part. . .

The other significant event this week was Patsy's birthday. I titled this post as a tribute to her. I am so grateful for this magnificent woman. As we sat at dinner with her mother the other night, I commented that the best thing her mother did in this life was giving birth to this choice daughter whom I married for time and for all eternity on a December morning many moons ago. She has welcomed thirteen choice and extraordinary children - one at a time. For twenty years she was bearing children. We once calculated the number of months (including miscarriages) she had been pregnant. It was a large number we have both blissfully forgotten as we entered grand-parenthood.

Together we have coached an All-Star team of superstars. We have walked together through sunshine and shadows. Each child is a unique creation, so similar in their extraordinary spiritual gifts, but so divergent in personality, temperament and talents. When asked which we love best, the simplest answer is whoever we're with at the moment.

We used to think we loved them so much when we were all together as a nuclear family, but as we now bid farewell to our youngest and we have witnessed the addition of spouses who outshine even our children, and they have in turn welcomed 40 grandchildren into the mix, we cannot say more than "our cup truly runneth over."

As a husband and father, it is Patsy to whom I owe everything in the joy and realization of all these supernal blessings. I've always said she did the heavy lifting on the homefront, and I did the easy part - I got to go off to work every day. Giving herself as she has through all these years to me, her children and now her grandchildren is what she has excelled at.

When we were younger and having our family, we were often reminded about how wicked the world was, and we were questioned routinely about whether bringing so many children into such a wicked world was well-advised. Now that they are grown, we can refer our critics to each of our children and have them ask, "Are you happy to be in such a wicked world, or would you have been better off never being born?"

I'm hoping they would all answer that mortal life has been considered a gift, having a physical body enshrouding their eternal spirit is a blessing, and the prospects of eternal life despite all the opposition is worth it all. Only as we bring children into this world and become parents ourselves do we begin to grasp the significance of the great plan of happiness. As a grandfather in my advancing years, I am only now beginning to understand the full implications of the word, "FATHER."

There's a magnet on our refrigerator door in the kitchen, bearing words from an unknown author:

"Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow a Mystery,
Today is a Gift,
That's why it's called the Present."

Every day for the next eighteen months, Sister Merilee Goates will give a gift of inestimable worth to the lost souls she encounters - she will give a present of herself as she has never given before.

Every day of her life, my beloved companion Patsy has given me a present of inestimable worth - the gift of herself. She has demonstrated that in the giving - only in the giving - is the getting.

So today, I pay homage to the two women under my roof, and in the case of the younger we wish her well as she embarks on her latest adventure.

To the older, I owe everything. Thank you Patsy.