Why So Quiet?

I sat alone in sacrament meeting today. My dear companion who sat by my side for 54 years had departed this life. When I returned home, the deafening silence greeted me as I entered our home. Only hours before the home had been filled with laughter, happiness and lively grandchildren who were loving the joy of being together. And now it was as silent as the Garden Tomb.

After the funeral yesterday, we enjoyed a meal together provided by the generous Relief Society sisters of our ward. Then that was followed by a rousing dance party out on the basketball court. There was happiness and there was nothing but frivolity. I was tired, but they were not.

And then today, it was silent and I was alone with my thoughts.

Oh, my thoughts! How many, how varied, how consistent and how tranquil. I re-watched her funeral online at the Larkin Mortuary website. I shed a few more tears as I listened to our wonderful children share their talents with the audience. 

I told them I wanted two things out of the funeral - to edify and inspire the congregation, and to show them her good example. Both goals of mine were met, I believe.

I have had so many tell me her funeral was one of the finest they have ever attended. Lance Larkin, my cousin, reminded me of what Elder LeGrand Richards once told him about funerals. He said he had been to many funerals during his long life, and that there were good ones and there were bad ones. The good ones, he said, were about good people, and the bad ones, well, you can finish the sentence. Lance told me, "This was a good woman." I echo his sentiment.

I loved hearing her teachings to her children recounted and now embodied in their lives. She taught them how to pray, how to love their Savior, how to serve others without reservation and how to live their lives faithfully here in mortality. 

And then, far too soon for all of us, she took her leave. She went into another room, as she often did when we had said our prayers and I climbed into bed and fell asleep. She, on the other hand, was up again and in another part of the house preparing something good to eat for her loved ones or someone in our ward who was in need of her loving outreach. I would awaken a few hours later, and find my bed empty while she toiled in preparation. Not unlike what I feel now and realize she isn't coming back to bed.

That's what her death represents for me. She has merely gone ahead into another room to make preparations for me and all our posterity. That she will do it with grace, with lovingkindness, and with patience I have no doubts. It may not involve vacuuming the carpet or making good food to eat, but it will involve spiritual sustenance for which each of us craves.

I told the grandchildren before we closed the lid on her casket that she now has superpowers - she can "fly." My meaning is that she will fly quickly to their sides in times of trouble, or times of need, or times of turbulence, or times even of joy. 

I told them to listen carefully for her gentle invitations to do better, to reach a little higher, try a little harder, persist in faith a little longer. In those moments she will meet them and give them the needed encouragement and spiritual strength which she can dispense from a deep treasury of her own making.

She loves the Lord Jesus Christ. Her whole life was anchored in Him. She became much like Him in all His attributes.

I read these words this afternoon, as I opened my copy of The Teachings of Harold B. Lee. It was as if I could hear his voice speaking directly to me:

"Don't be afraid of the testing and trials of life. Sometimes when you are going through the most severe tests, you will be nearer to God than you have any idea, for like the experience of the Master Himself in the temptations on the mount, in the Garden of Gethsemane, and on the cross at Calvary, the scriptures record, 'And, behold, angels came and ministered unto him' (Matthew 4:11). Sometimes that may happen to you in the midst of your trials." (THBL, p. 192).

She has gone into another room, not far away, and left me to ponder, "Why so quiet?" And the answer seems to suggest, "So that you may hear her when she comes to minister to you."

Chad Hymas -- Generosity of Spirit

My life has been blessed once again today by being with Chad Hymas. 

For the second time in only a few months, we were privileged to sit at his feet and be taught.  The first time he came and spoke, he was given a standing ovation.  Today, he would have none of it.  He scolded us for clapping for him at his introduction.  Chad will be the first to tell you, "It's not about me." 

Each time Chad has come to speak to our Monday morning Professional Networking Group at the LDS Business College, he has left us pondering so many valuable life lessons it is difficult for me to summarize them all in the few minutes he has spent addressing us.

He shatters all the myths associated with the job search.  Whatever difficulties our candidates are facing, they pale by comparison to what Chad must deal with every morning of his life.  Unassisted, he has driven into the city from his ranch to be with us.  I know he got up a lot earlier than I did this morning.  But you won't hear a word of complaint from Chad. 

He chooses to soar on the wings of his generous spirit instead of being earthbound.  And he lifts others to the same majestic heights.

The life lesson he embodies most, it seems to me, is his generosity of spirit.  He exudes lovingkindness.  It was King David who defined its use:  "Thy loving-kindness, O Lord, is in the Heavens, Thy faithfulness reaches unto the skies. Thy righteousness is like the mighty mountains; Thy judgments are like the great deep; man and beast Thou preserveth, O Lord, How precious is Thy Loving kindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Thy wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fatness of Thy house; and Thou makest them drink of the river of Thy pleasures. For with Thee is the fountain of life; in Thy light do we see light. O continue Thy lovingkindness unto them that know Thee; and Thy righteousness to the upright in heart." (Psalm 36:5-10). 

Chad is a quadriplegic, but that obvious limitation has seemingly helped his spirit develop in ways that transcend the physical dimensions. 

Today he spoke of time.  The greatest gift we give to each other, he said, is our time.  We validate another's existence when we give our time to one another.  It's not about us, he emphasized, it's about them.  He is quick to point out the painful ways he learned that lesson from two people -- Melanie and his father.  But he learned it well, and now inspires others with his lesson. 

When we say we don't have time for (fill in the blank here), what we are saying is that our spirit lacks the largesse of spirit Heavenly Father is trying to bestow upon us. 

I know Chad didn't say it in these words, but the Spirit whispered to me while I listened, "David, I have given you so much of My time -- lots of it -- hoping to develop you into the man you are today.  And I have been patient with you, oh, so patient with the harvest I have waited so long to reap in you." 

Then, I hear Him gently nudging me, "Please go and do likewise with others. . ." 

I felt so many times today while I listened to Chad speak that I have robbed God because of the stingy nature I possess.  My time is valuable, I have said to myself.  I don't have time to serve, I have protested.  Each time I have extended myself, however, I feel expanded.  It's the very lesson Heavenly Father has been trying to develop in me.  Heavenly Father is helping me to learn greater generosity of spirit, but I have not been always been compelled to learn that lesson. 

That's why He has had to be so patient with me. 

Others are instinctive givers of themselves.  That's the way Patsy is.  She doesn't have to overthink it like I do.  She doesn't do the analysis in advance.  She just automatically defaults time and again, year after year, moment by moment to serving others selflessly and giving her time even when it's inconvenient. 

I have to do the calculations first, then I serve.  I have said before, I am a very slow learner.  When I have been so impatient with others, I cringe to think what Heavenly Father thinks of my feeble weak-kneed efforts when measured against His generosity with me. 

I am not nearly as generous of spirit as Chad Hymas and Patsy Goates.  I've never had a one-ton bale of hay fall on my head and crack my neck to awaken me to my sense of the need to share my time without complaint.

So tonight, I thank Chad for the reminder once again to be conscious of my opportunities to serve and to love everyone without the accompanying smallness of spirit I tend to exude. 

His fee for sharing his time with us today? 

Priceless.