This question comes from eldest daughter Dianne. I haven’t given this much thought until I saw it in my questions this morning. It was intended for internal consumption within our family circle, but without reservation I now share it with the world at large on my blog page. In so doing I trust in your acceptance in advance, and your forgiveness as necessary.
Let me begin by saying that becoming parents for Patsy and me wasn’t ever a question in our minds. We were married in 1969. We knew instinctively that our marriage would produce offspring, and in Patsy’s case her answer to those who asked how many children we thought we would have was a consistent, “At least twelve.”
I would hear her response made to many people, and when I did I always swallowed hard and merely soldiered on in faith that she was probably right. In fact, she had thirteen live births. I’ve learned in the ensuing years that a woman is born with a certain amount of eggs within her reproductive system, and I’ve wondered if she just instinctively knew she was blessed abundantly with a large number. Whatever the case, this was a woman who was blessed not only with great faith in her Father in Heaven, but also the maturity required to make that instinctive faith a reality in her life.
The miracle of birth is astounding to me. We’ve all learned by our own experiences that there are so many variables in the birth process, and it is such a miracle in each case. Patsy had at least six miscarriages along the way to birthing our thirteen children, and in our youngest Adrienne’s birth we had her with us for only 49 short days in mortality. They are now reunited in the spirit world, and their grave markers lie side by side in the Woodland Cemetery. Two stone slabs in memory:
Woodland Cemetery
The question from Dianne is asking me to disclose the ONE THING I wished I had known before becoming a parent. My answer is simple: I wish I had known just how intricate and how miraculous each subsequent birth would be.
Patsy’s ability to birth babies was relatively straightforward and uncomplicated by comparison to many of our peers. She would have miserable pregnancies with multiple aches and pains along the way. The list of complications is too long to enumerate here on these poor pages, and it would probably only serve to enthrone her on a higher pedestal than the one she currently occupies. Her ability to absorb and overcome her pains and uncertainty in those days was always astounding to me, and I lived with her 24-7 and observed it all up close and personal. You can just take my word for it, okay?
One time we sat down together and estimated the number of years she had spent in a pregnant state during our married lives together. I don’t recall the actual number today as I write, but trust me when I say it was LARGE. By today’s false judgments about marriage she was a miracle worker indeed!
Patsy was routinely criticized by the sisters in our various wards for her “baby-making ability.” For the most part they kept it on the downlow, but occasionally some would confront her face to face with their pejoratives and she would simply smile without offering a rejoinder. She knew who she was, and she was never deterred. The days of “women’s liberation” were just emerging back then.
I wish I had known how blessed I would become as each new infant joined us. I wish I had the capacity to see and know each one before they joined our family circle here on earth. Who were you in the spirit world before you were born? I have no doubt we ALL knew each other then and there.
I believe the most choice of our Father in Heaven’s children have been reserved to come forth in this final dispensation of the fulness of times. I wish I could have had even a peek into the spirit world from whence you all came forth into mortality and have a glimpse of what you were back then. I know I would not be surprised!!
I have attended the patriarchal blessing for each of you, and I have in my possession a copy of each of your blessings from various patriarchs. What is consistent in each one is a hint of your individual greatness. I am humbled by what little I know, but it is enough to assure me of who you were then, who you are becoming here and now, and I believe I am assured we will all be reunited in the spirit world one day up ahead if we remain true and faithful to our covenants. Of that certainty I am assured.
Let me extend my thoughts this morning a little bit further. I do not intend any offense by what is coming up. However, I feel compelled to weigh in a bit.
There is much being said about gender identity in today’s world. Confusion is rampant “out there.” This confusion is largely among those who do not share what we know as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Somewhere in the not too distant past, June became “Pride Month,” to celebrate a satanic notion that transgenderism and other perverse sexual false doctrines were not only acceptable but should be paraded and promoted in the public square. The iconic rainbow for generations was highjacked as a symbol. Pride flags adorned the White House, and eventually found their way into the classrooms of our children in elementary schools. I applaud the home schoolers among you. Even textbooks were produced to promote gay and lesbian agendas among our youngest and most vulnerable.
Mercifully, there is now an informal pushback emerging to replace Pride Month with “Veterans Appreciation Month.” Legislation is being proposed to ban transgender operations among our children. I follow these developments on social media platforms each and every day. I see and witness the ongoing debates in America designed to divide us and prevent us from coming together as a nation over something so simple. The separation between good and evil grows wider each day.
Why do I say “simple?” Because the Bible from the first book of Genesis could not be more plain than it is:
26 ¶ And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; MALE and FEMALE created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. (Genesis 1:26-28, emphasis mine).
A male and a female, two sexes only. Manmade allowances for identifying and promoting multiple species are not in harmony with God’s eternal vision for His children. Do not let the confusion of others infect your thinking. Procreation between a man and a woman is the Divine definition of marriage, and the purpose of that marriage is to bring forth children so the posterity of Adam and Eve may continue to prosper and multiply upon the face of the earth. From the beginning until this very moment in time the plan of our Father in Heaven has NEVER been modified by Him and our Savior Jesus Christ.
I noted recently that “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” originated thirty years ago in 1995! It was authored by 15 living Apostles of the Lord Jesus Christ. Many of you have a copy hanging on the walls of your homes. I encourage you to study it together routinely. In part it reads:
“All human beings — male and female — are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.
“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
So, Dianne’s question asks, “What’s ONE thing you wish you’d known before becoming a parent?” Having laid out what I have written above, I can now say assuredly that we walked by faith in procreation as a couple in our married life together. We didn’t know much about the mysteries associated with having a family, but we pressed forward in faith anyway. We could not have known in advance that the living prophets in this dispensation would someday make such a comprehensive declaration of doctrine about parenting.
I invite you to learn more and to do as we did. Press forward in faith. As I’ve observed granddaughter Katelyn’s travails right now in her first trimester of pregnancy, I am reminded of her Grandma Patsy and all she suffered to bring forth our family of Goates Kids so valiantly.
Believe me when I observe on this page today that she is surely delighted with each of you who have sprung from her loins as you proceed down life’s path leading toward eternal life with her someday.
I don’t know the end from the beginning as our Father in Heaven surely does. What I do know absolutely is He is with us every step of our journey here in mortality, and He is anxious to bless and sustain us no matter what comes next!
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